Should she do lunch club?

[Overthebow]

Before I start the main story, I’m autistic and I know im anxious about school. I had a bad time in school and my main concern is with my dd being happy at school and making friends.

My dd is in year 2 and is on the wait list for autism and ADHD assessment. She wants to do a lunch club at school this year which is one lunch time each week. Her friends aren’t doing this club. I’m worried that her best friend will move on and find other friends and won’t want to play with her anymore if she misses the play time. Am I being overly worried about it this and she should do the lunch club? Or is this something that is likely to happen and she’ll be left with no friends? I have no idea how to navigate school friendships.

I would see it as an opportunity for her to widen her social circle

She wants to do it, that’s got to be a good thing surely. You can’t say to her that she can’t do some because he friend isn’t doing it.

She definitely should do lunch club. She will meet other kids and have fun. Her friend can play with other kids that day, which is very normal at this age. It would be a shame to make her miss out on something she wants to do just to try to hold on to a friend.

Yes she should do lunch club.

ex teacher.

She should do lunch club.

If one missed lunch threatens the friendship, then it’s not much of one anyway.

Plus, do you really want to send her the message that you should miss out on things/put yourself last/change who you are to appease friends?

Since it’s a club , it’s also an opportunity for her to meet other children / build more friendships.

Forgot the most important reason, she wants to do it.

The club will widen her circle of friends. If this is stressing you out then it’s going to be a long and stressful few years for you. It appears you have some unresolved issues regarding friendships? It will be really hard to navigate so I suggest you maybe try some counselling to work through why you’re so anxious about this.

Also, you don’t need to navigate school friendships. Leave that to your daughter. Offer to host play dates, speak to the teacher if there are significant problems and just be there to listen to your daughter. The rest of it is up to her. Nothing good comes out of interfering- even if you have the best of intentions.

Absolutely let her do lunch club. She has an interest and clearly wants to do whatever the activity is. Once a week won't really make a difference to her playground socialising. She's still there most days.

It's actually a great opportunity to make new friends outside of her core group.

Yes she should do lunch club. Please don’t make your anxieties over this your daughters issue.

A friend who ditches her for being away for one lunch a week is not a friend anyway.

Is this how you manage your own friendships? It’s incredibly unhelpful for your daughter to learn this attitude. You need to encourage her to peruse interests and be independent, not cling to one friend in case they find someone else. Can you see that?

Can you afford therapy to try and help you manage your anxiety?

You dont need to navigate any school friendships as you are not at school. What has ADHD etc... got to do with it? Your DD wants to do a club so let her. Its all part of the learning curve.

Yes this