DS17 wants to skip school day for UCAT. AIBU to say no??

[PoisedTiger]

DS17 has his UCAT coming up next week. He has asked to skip school this Wednesday so he can do some final preparation.

AIBU to refuse to lie to the school and call him in sick?

School attendance is important to me, and I don't want to set a bad example by lying.

I have absolutely no doubts about his time management, he is doing brilliantly academically and is currently predicted 4 As*.

Should I just support him and pull the sickie, or am I right to insist on the truth?

He's not skiving though is he? I think he should just tell the school.

I would just tell the school the truth

I would ‘allow’ a 4A*/ambitious/hardworking 17 year old have a day off for any reason! What value are you trying to teach him that he doesn’t already have?
He really shouldn’t need to ask for permission from you.

DS took UCAT during the summer holidays but a number of his friends did it during term time and took a day to do final preparation.

A good UCAT score is essential just to get an interview.

No point getting A stars without one.

I’m amazed the school isn’t encouraging him to take the day to prepare.

That's what I thought. He is over compulsory school age. I don't see why he wouldn't just tell them he is taking the day off and why. What practically can they do to him?

If you said no, would he just go in to school?
Or do you mean stay off and tell the truth? Cos I'd let him stay off and tell the truth.

Why would you lie to the school?

Tell them he’s taking the day off to prepare for the test.

Why lie?

I would let him have the day but tell the school what you are doing and to contact you if they have any further questions.

You book a slot at a test centre. Often little choice but a Wednesday seems very sensible as it’s usually a half day in sixth form (sport fixtures in afternoon)

My DD’s grammar sixth form were ridiculous about attendance. She sat LNAT and I called out of courtesy to let them know and they didn’t know what it was and were really awkward. Another time they rang me to say she was absent and she was on an educational day trip abroad arranged through school. My fave was conversation late one afternoon. I said she’s told me she’s filled out the pink slip to notify you of uni open day attendance. Oh yes she has but it says open day is 9am tomorrow. I had to explain Queens Belfast was in NI and that it needed a flight to get there from England so yes that’s why not in her late afternoon lesson day before.

He's 17 & asking mum's permission to skip a day of school for something that's really important to him? You need to let go of the reins a bit or he'll go off the rails when he starts uni & moves away from parental control.

It sounds like your DS has his priorities right and is very mature and sensible, as well as very bright and hardworking. He’s got his priorities right. An extra day preparing for the UCAT will make a bigger difference to his university prospects than a few missed A level classes.

An adult preparing for a professional exam would probably take a day off work to revise. Why can’t he do the same?

I’m guessing he has chosen Wednesday rather than the day before the exam because most schools have sports on Wednesday afternoon. Another sensible choice, if so.

If it’s the lying you are concerned about, I see your point. I am sure that his teachers will be supportive of him taking a day to study for the UCAT. I suspect lying might actually make the school’s life easier from an administrative perspective if they can’t authorise an absence for study leave. Besides, he can tell the truth, he’s anxious about the UCAT. Mental health is as important as physical health.

As a PP said, it’s not your choice or responsibility anyway. Sixth formers can manage their own absences.

He isn’t skipping play video games. He is focused on his future and prioritizing his time.

I have just emailed DDs school to say she is missing 2 days to revsise and one day for the test.

They replied saying they have marked down her authorised and non-authorised absence.

The UCAT is as important as A levels. He can get A*s in everything but if he doens't perform well enough in the UCAT he can't do medicine.

Why would you not do anything to encourage him?

A day off school is perfectly reasonable for the UCAT. Its an important exam, just tell the school hes taking a day off to prepare

UCAT is so so crucial.

It will absolutely define which universities will take him. It is a one shot exam and everything rides on it when it comes to med school applications.

The 4 A’s are irrelevant - the vast majority of candidates will have 4 As too.

A great UCAT score is what differentiates. Make or break.

This ^^

And Seriouly, sod attendance. It’s one day.

If they mark it down as un authorised, what do you think a university is going to say? “Oh dear, what a great score and excellent A levels, shame we can’t take him as his attendance is 99%”

Just tell them he won’t be in.

For UCAT, why would you need to lie to the school? I would expect them to be supportive.

For anyone else who had never heard of UCAT (like me) and needs the blanks filling in, it's this "The University Clinical Aptitude Test (UCAT) is an admissions test used by most medical and dental schools...."

Yes, he needs to take the day off college for it.

He’s 17. He doesn’t need permission

Your son is hardworking and sounds trustworthy. Let him have the day off and just tell college the truth. You dont need to lie!

I let my son have the day off to get in a final full day rehearsal for a musician competition. I just told the school the truth. They said it would be unauthorised but was his first day off that year so wouldn’t make any difference and told him good luck.

Just let him have the day off.

Absolutely this. I have given DC various days off for various things over the years - never lied just told school what it is for. If they get an unauthorised absence, never mind.