AIBU to feel mentally paralysed and unable to work?

[WoesFromAuntFlo]

I don’t know what the hell has happened to me, but I am mentally paralysed and I don’t know how to get unstuck.

For context, I run two different businesses (one professional, one more creative) and have a 3 year old who goes to nursery 3.5 days a week.

I have been extremely successful in the past, pre child (!) and ran a large business with dozens of staff. I closed that down during Covid and have been a sole trader since then.

Over the years I’ve found it harder and harder to get my work done or stay motivated. I thought it was because I didn’t love what I did so also opened my creative business to pursue a passion - and realised I do enjoy both sides of my work.

The problem is, I have become so far behind with work over the last few months that I can’t actually find the energy or inclination to do any of it.

Instead I find myself practically staring at the clock waiting to go and pick my child up from nursery or doing everything but work.

I do have a history of trauma and have been through therapy etc. But this is different, it’s like a real paralysis. I have 3 hours before I have to do pick up again and I physically can’t motivate myself to do any of the multiple outstanding projects I’ve got going on.

I know I’m definitely BU as I’m letting clients down but I just don’t know what to do?!

This happened to me 5 years ago; eventually I just couldn’t work at all and got an in-person job at someone else’s company. I think I just got burned out with self-employment.

I'm not sure how old you are but could it be perimenopause? I only say that because I'm suffering and all of what you have said is very familiar! Perhaps go to your GP and have some tests done as it could be biological, i.e deficiencies?
I think the GP is a good place to start though, could you be depressed?

As a short term fix, could you employ someone (even part time) to help you out in either or both business? Going through the explanations of what's required might ignite you too?
Medium term, don't take on any new business until you've cleared your outstanding work. Give yourself some breathing space.
Longer term, review both businesses and the situation you are in. How did you end up here but, importantly, where do you want to be? Have you been in this position in the past? What did you do then? What would you advise a friend if they were going through this?

The above can be done fairly quickly, doesn't need weeks or months.

Good luck, don't beat yourself up. There will be a way of working around this!

Sorry to jump to the usual ND comment, but are you ND?

I experienced almost everything you have described and it is one of the reasons I sought an ADHD assessment. That diagnosis, along with peri at the same time, explained a lot. Through therapy, intentional techniques and medication, things are much easier.

Me too, very similar. I have used the Pomodoro technique successfully before, but it's getting increasingly more difficult and my deadlines are looming. I wonder about adhd and perimenopause too as all of my usual strategies are not so effective as they once were.

This sounds like burnout, OP, I'm going through it myself at present. No advice really but I just wanted to say you're not alone!