AIBU to think my ex should spend more time with the children?

[Sageturtle]

Myself and ex husband have been split 4 years now. He’s in a relationship with a lovely woman who I really like and my kids like, we get on amicably now and things have been settled for over a year after a messy few years.
My issue is this, they stay at his every other weekend and that’s the only time he sees them, his choice, I’ve never stopped him seeing them. I recently found out that he’s started working Friday and Saturday nights, which means they are with his partner both nights, which isn’t a problem, he has to work! But during the day, she is dropping them at their clubs, making their lunch, spending the day with them etc while he changes nothing and goes to the gym for the whole of Saturday until he starts work again. Then he sleeps in Sundays, she cooks lunch for them and brings them home. My daughters only saw him for 3 hours in the whole time there last weekend!
AIBU to think that it is unfair that my children spend so little time with him on the measly 4 days a month he sees them? Could I mention that he could go to the gym on the days he’s not with them instead of leaving the parenting to his partner? Or is this acceptable and I’m just expecting too much?!

I mean, you’re not wrong but I can see why he’s your ex. You can’t force him the have the children more, any more than you can force him to actually spend time with them when they’re at his house. No doubt his current partner will eventually get fed up of just being his babysitter and she’ll leave too.

how old are the children?

You can’t force him to be a good father. You could either say if he isn’t spending time with them then they should spend time with you or let him do what he sees fit.

The kids will grow up knowing the truth.

It’s unfortunate, but we can’t force shit men to be decent

It’s unfair but unfortunately appears to be the norm. When Men’s Groups whine about the imbalance in custody arrangements I wonder shy they never factor this in. A lot of men want access but are happy to leave the bulk of childcare to the mother. Sorry you don’t get much of a break and your children don’t get to see their dad much.

Yes. But you can do nothing about it.

Have the kids said anything? Maybe you suggest a change so he can see them more so it's seen as a positive. He can then help with homework and school uniforms etc. 😈

Also I see this a lot with a lot of men who find a new partner to foist their childcare responsibilities on. It’s why I could never date a man with children.

He’s got the nanny with a fanny well trained!!

They are in year 8 and 9 high school. I was a married single parent for years, but really thought he would want to spend more time with them as they got older and had shared interests with him.

I think all you can do is be relieved she is nice

At least she is nice, if a total mug. He’s a disgrace. Nothing you can do.

This. I suspect she may tire of the situation though

This.