AIBU to consider putting our elderly dog to sleep?

[Ghasha]

My dog is almost 13 years old, she's been a great family dog and we all love her (especially the kids)
Last year or so she's really changed, suddenly seems very old, has a lot of lumps and bumps, doesn't enjoy walks as much as she used to - is very slow. She often walks around the house aimlessly, she'll stare at walls and cry or sit in the middle of the garden and cry. She seems ravenous and will cry for more food when she's already eaten, she's looking thin despite this. She's also gone to the toilet in the house a few times overnight (something she never does) Her eyes also look like she could be losing her sight. Up until recently I've thought she's just getting old but seems ok in her self most of the time, will still cuddle up with the kids etc.
Last week she randomly attacked our cat (who she's lived with since she was a puppy) he was ok luckily but we were all shook up, can't see a reason for it - he wasn't anywhere near her or her food or anything like that.
Tonight she randomly snapped at my hand when I bent down to pick a tea towel off the floor. It really shocked me.

Up until now I've been reluctant to see a vet because I imagine they'll suggest tests/scans or the like, we live hand to mouth as it is. I'm slightly concerned her behaviour is indicative of cognitive decline.

Part of me thinks if she continues to decline it might be the kinder (and safer) thing to have her put down.

What would you do?

Poor pup is likely in pain with something going on and should really see a vet

I worked in a veterinary hospital and always felt it was kinder when a pet was PTS before becoming very unwell/significantly declining. In your case I would book an appointment with the vets with an open mind and be honest and tell them exactly what you have you said. Vets only ever want what is best for an animal and are guided by the owners wishes. One of my cats had HCM which leads to heart failure and I took him to the vets for an unrelated issue and they recommended a health check, bloods etc I declined and made it clear that we only wanted palliative care and when the time came that he was struggling we would have him PTS.

Honestly OP she sounds as though she is suffering. I think you really need to take her to the vet.

It does rather sound if your poor pooch has dementia. All the classic signs.

The attack on the cat and snapping at you is not good at all and for these reasons alone I would have the poor beast put to sleep.

Take her to the vet and be very clear about every symptom, emphasising the attacks.
If the vet is the slightest bit ethical, and quite few are not because of being part of a gouging chain, they will comply for the attacks alone.

I think the time has come for her to be let go.
What breed is she?
Same happened to me last year.... and my daughter this year.
So distressing to watch and not know when to act, but when they're messing in the house and staring into space and snapping, all out of character it's time to let them go.
So sorry, it's really hard but the kindest thing to do for them.

Is there a PDSA you could take her to? They are for people who'd struggle to afford vet's bills.

She needs to see a vet, 13 is a good age, she sounds like she’s in pain, messing in the house will be distressing for her if she’s otherwise been clean. Hard decision to make but ultimately the kindest thing to do 💐

Thirteen is getting on a bit but not ancient (depending on breed/ size) but a sudden change in temperament and loss of bowel control indicates something is up. If you can't afford investigations the PTS is kinder than letting it drag on.

Quality of life is more important than getting extra time when it comes tonelderly pets. Better a week too soon than a day too late as they say.

It sounds like she could be in pain - you really do need to take her to the vets.

Sorry but it is unforgivable that you haven’t taken her to the vet yet. Poor thing is suffering. If you can’t afford treatment then the kindest thing is to put to sleep but please do it now. She is thirteen a vet won’t judge you for not wanting to pay for tests.

Vet appointment needed. My dog had very similar symptoms and yes, something was up. Get your dog checked, it’s for the best.

It’s neglect to not take your obviously declining pet to the vet OP, take her to the vet and find out what’s going on, you don’t have to test for everything but get an idea

She’s in pain. Take her to the vet and take it from there. Better a day too early that a day too late when it comes to animals. It’s heartbreaking. We lost our dog in June and I still miss her every day. I’m sorry .

Thanks all.

I know I should have taken her earlier but I've just been through a separation and my kids are very attached to her and I couldn't bear another sadness. She's gotten worse lately though.
She's a staffy for those asking. Will make a vets appointment asap.

There’s two separate things here:

The first is her immediate medical need. Take her to the vet. I understand money can be an issue but she is your dog and you have loved her for a long time. You are responsible to her.

It does sound like doggy dementia. The things like bumps and eyesight can be normal ageing and not necessarily a cause for further concern. The staring and the changes in behaviour, however, are.

Please don’t put her to sleep just because she’s old, but have a proportionate, honest discussion with the vet about the symptoms and go from there.

For reference, I had to choose to put my dog to sleep a month ago and it was the hardest yet easiest decision I’ve had to make. Hardest, because I love him so much, but easiest because I promised him when I got him that I would do whatever I have to do to make sure he doesn’t suffer. That’s what it means to love another creature.

Good luck with the appointment.

sorry but this is appalling. take her to the vets now .

My FIL let his dog live/suffer for months longer than he should, absolute c*nt.
The dog had similar behavior, going blind, dementia, biting everyone, crapping in the house.
If the dog has no quality of life, and is a danger to the kids (because that’s what will happen next) then have the poor thing PTS.
Heartbreaking as it is, you need to take that decision.
The vet can visit the house to do the deed at home, and there are services to collect the body for cremation etc.

Yes definitely a vet visit required, which you already acknowledge. People always seem to jump to ‘dementia’ with old dogs in decline but in my experience (and I have had a lot of dogs live past 13 - both owned and fostered) it is nearly always something like undiagnosed pain (usually arthritic) or sight and hearing problems (would explain the snapping when you got near with your hand) or a combination of those things. And some of those can be fairly easily/affordably remedied, after which you see a marked improvement.
Sometimes, of course, a dog is simply old and has had enough. Sending you best wishes for you and your loved pooch. ♥️

@Ghasha when finances are an issue, these organisations will offer free treatment, if you have one locally;

PDSA, Blue Cross, Dogs Trust, and StreetVet

It's very sad, and I will never judge anyone for struggling with vets bills with an older dog (financial circumstances change and costs have increased for a lot of people astronomically since they committed to their dogs as puppies), but I could never prolong the life of an elderly dog that was suffering.

I wouldn't re-home. Dogs that old do not cope well in re-homes and she sounds like she's really in a lot of pain. And just because a rescue could intervene doesn't make it ethical. Too many rescues and owners prolong their dogs suffering because they're unable to say goodbye.

I wouldn't go into a long explanation at the vets. Just say she's clearly aging, she's snappy and unhappy and you think it's in her interest to euthanise. Don't prolong her suffering because you're worried your kids might be upset by her passing - the dog deserves better than that, and you'll never forgive yourself for it.

Could it be dementia. We have an old one with dementia. She’s happy enough yet but as soon as she gets aggressive we will know it’s time. We’ve got her under our vet - who happens to be a family friend who sees her all the time.

She needs to see a vet. It's difficult to understand that you haven't taken a much loved pet before now. She's obviously in trouble and you owe her.

I had similar with our lab . I knew it was time but my family was desperate to keep her alive . Eventually she had a stroke . But I was very upset to see her not enjoying her dog life , not able to run or swim , getting up at 4am because she had an accident. It's not fair and unfortunately it's up to us to make that decision despite wanting them with us .

It does unfortunately sound like doggy dementia, I understand you not wanting to take her to the vets especially when you know already the likely outcome but just see what they say. My girls 13 mentally very switched on, but struggles with her balance and coordination you just have to accept they are getting on.
It is hard though.

Have you had her checked for diabetes?
But in general yes if a pet is old and isn’t enjoying life anymore and has no easily treatable medical conditions I do think it’s kinder to PTS.