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AIBU?

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AIBU to be upset” friend “ called my assault allegation false? TRIGGER WARNING.

9 replies

Freefinaly12 · 03/09/2026 23:31

Trigger warning - SA.

a few years ago the father of my children ( who I was married to ) sexually assaulted me. This lead to further of events that has taken years to process and rebuild our lives after everything that happened.

I am not sure how the discussion started but mutual friends of both ours were apparently discussing the situation. To avoid drip feeding husband is
no longer with us.

with in their conversation apparently it was discussed about my accusation and how it was a false accusation because I didn’t say “
no “

our Young child was in the kitchen with both of us when I went outside to get something from our “ out house “

for reference he was a lot bigger and a lot stronger than me.

he followed me out there leaving young DC free in the kitchen.
he came in and stood in front of the door blocking my way out. He said he just wanted to talk about recent issues. I requested he moved and let me out and he hit me.
I then stopped asking and let him talk. I was worried about our young DC.
he said he would let me out if I just allowed him to have sex with me again. I agreed and then went to leave ( just to get out ) but then he still wouldn’t let me get out the door and said I needed to show him I meant it. I “ agreed “ because I was scared and worried about getting to my child. Luckily DC was fine.

his story to everyone was basically admitting it but that it wasn’t R* rather than he was in a dark place, drunk and yes done wrong but it was consensual.
he admitted to “ hitting me “ but not to sexual assault.

OP posts:
somanychristmaslights · 03/09/2026 23:33

I wouldn’t be seeing those mutual “friends” again.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 03/09/2026 23:34

I’m not sure this belongs in AIBU to be honest, it’s so deeply personal. Sorry you have had such a difficult time OP

Greenmouldycheese · 03/09/2026 23:35

I dont think this should be on this group. Im not sure of those people are your friends.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 03/09/2026 23:36

How dreadful for you, not only to endure this, but to have your friends doubt things.

I'm so sorry.

blubberyboo · 03/09/2026 23:53

So these "friends" accept him confirming that he hit you and then think you just agreed to have sex with him? After he hit you?
Are they stupid?
They aren't your friends.
I hope you heal. They wont help the process for you.

Holidaymodeon · 03/09/2026 23:59

They’re not your friends. Hope you have some kinder people around you too. You can talk to your gp and to local or national abuse support agencies

WearyAuldWumman · 04/09/2026 00:00

They are not your friends.

I'm sorry that you've suffered in this way @Freefinaly12 .

Chattanoogachoo · 04/09/2026 00:07

This seems to be a constant , there's always someone who'll say these sort of things.They have the privilege of being outside the situation and like to indulge in whataboutery and excuses.Ive heard quite a few of them recently refer to relationships being complicated, no one knows what goes on in a relationship etc.This was to excuse a murder suicide of a vulnerable woman.
These are not your friends and I wouldn't regard them as such.

Uberella · 04/09/2026 00:08

To be blunt;

They are not your friends;they’re a bunch of ignorant misogynistic cunts who victim shame DV and SA victims.

You deserve better friends and do not need that sort of toxic attitudes in your life.

I’m sorry this happened to you and I’m glad that he’s gone so you’re safe.

Well done to you mama for keeping your child safe;I grew up in a household where DV was rife and it was terrifying.

Wishing you the best for the future;take care of yourself.

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