Could you get past these words?

[NotSureICanDoIt]

These were sent to me by my father via his carer who is George. The context is that we had a falling out a few months ago and haven’t really spoken since. I have never written any messages designed to hurt him or nasty in any way. In fact my last message was that I thought about him every day. I have no idea what words he is referring to.

What prompted this outpouring was that I invited his carer down for the bank holiday as we are friends outside of him being my father’s carer (he looks after him for three days per week). It seems that he got very jealous and separately accused me of trying to destroy his life. Kim is my sister and not involved at all, I have no idea why he’s dragged her into it.

I’m not sure that I can ever get past his words. Am I being unreasonable?

(Hopefully the photo with the accusations will upload soon)

I don't think it's a good idea to post private text conversations on MN.

Content notwithstanding, if I were your father, his carer or your sister I would be furious with you that you had published the messages on a public forum. I hope for your sake none of them find out.

I think yabu to post images of messages which are identifiable such as this, that's really not going to help matters.

Can you go see him and ask what he means?

Why does he need a carer? Is he compos mentis? Also, why has George shown this to you or entertaining any of this? Something's not right here.

You say this comes via your friend George. Your falling out was about George. Are you sure this guy isn’t stirring?

He is old and needs a carer and maybe is paranoid. Just ignore.

They’re my messages to do what I like with. There’s absolutely no chance of anyone involved seeing them.

Did George type these or your dad?

Why is George down as Daddy?

My dad

I meant it as the association from when I first met him.

Doctored WhatsApp messages never give the full context. Been there, done that. Manipulative

You're asking a weird question op and it makes no sense.

If those messages from your Dad are about you why aren't you asking what 'words' you sre supposed to have said that have caused him so much upset? Instead you appear to be questioning if you can never get over what he has said back to you?

He's either making a false accusation? If so I would wondering if he's lost the plot? What does he think you've done done? Does he have dementia? Or has someone made something up about you? Maybe George.

Or, you know full well what you have said to upset him but you feel his reaction is not justified. You need to provide more clarity here.

I wouldn't decide you "can't get past" this without finding out what has gone wrong and trying to fix it. Based on what you've said here, I'd guess that the hurtful words your Dad refers to are whatever you said (or he heard) in the conversation that led to you "falling out", rather than anything since. Or it could be something he's been told that you said that you don't even know about, or something he has misunderstood or even imagined. He says he'll give you one chance to explain or apologise or whatever, so my goal would be to go see him and talk. As it sounds like he might not be fully mentally competent, try to choose a time and place where he is at his most lucid.

If you're not sure you trust George (that part of your post is confusing) perhaps ask Kim if she could give you some background on what's going on and help set up a meeting between you and your dad if appropriate? (I know you said she's not involved but it sounds like she is close to your father, and now involved in a way since he has mentioned her.) Whatever conversations you have with your dad, George, or Kim about this, I'd try to do them face to face - perhaps video calls if it's not possible to meet in person - to avoid confusion and miscommunication because it sounds like that has already happened.