AIBU to feel the police system needs complete reform?

[BrighterDaysAhead2026]

Up until recently I'd never had dealings with the police. But that changed and now I just can't unsee it...the whole system is toxic. I feel like it needs breaking down and starting again.

There is so much I could say and I don't want to write an essay, although happy to answer questions. But does anyone else have the same feelings? What can be done?

Just a few experiences:

8 police officers assualted/stood around laughing at/intimidating my mentally unwell daughter. My complaint has been ignored...

In custody, I was prevented from having my medication for my mental health and lied about it.

In interview, the police wanted to show me an upsetting video that had nothing to do with why I was there. My solicitor told me it was just a tatic to upset me and instructed me not to watch it. Just juvenile game playing.

I don't want to be accused of 'drip feeding' but there is so much and honestly some of it sounds crazy. Like I might wonder if it was true before all of this.

But basically, I complained about what happened with my daughter. Still not got to the bottom of why what happened, happened so I can't fill in all of the blanks. But police turned up at my door, I'd not called them, although they insisted I had. I stupidly let them in, not realising there were 8 of them. My daughter was very unwell and I was on the phone with the crisis team...they piled into my house and promptly tackled my autistic, mentally unwell daughter to the floor , then all stood around looking at her, laughing, being hostile to me. It was just horrible. Since my complaint things seemed to esculate with the police. Ending up with me in custody. I've seen so much now. And it is rotten to the core. I get many won't believe me. I'm just interested in those who genuinely want to discuss police reform.

Sorry, other salient point, my case was thrown out of court and I still don't know what really happened although I suspect it was police corruption. I know that sounds crazy!

What was the nature of the video they tried to show you and why did they say they were showing it?

"and I was on the phone with the crisis team."
Do you think the crisis team might have sent them?
And how did you end up in custody? Were you trying to defend your daughter and arrested for assault, or was it something which happened later like a campaign to get you?

FWIW I don't have a particularly high opinion of the police,

How exactly did you end up in custody Op?

I think the police need institutional reform so I completely agree.

But I must say I find it interesting how for years POC especially Black people and some gay men of all races have been speaking of the systemic discrimination within it and people have turned a blind eye until it directly affects them.

The sad and brutal murder of Sarah Everad and their conduct at the vigil, was a wake up call for a lot of women who weren’t otherwise bothered or believing of these assertions before.

I fortunately don’t have much direct experience with the police and I hope that continues. But the experience of family and friends and the general news suggests you are right. Institutional systemic change needed.

The video was them breaking into my house. The young officer said he didn't know why he had to show it to me as it was irrelevant but he had to do as he was told!

Did you have proof of prescription for mental health medication? Boxed and labelled? In date?

I definitely think the police and law and order (courts, CPS, prison service) in general needs to be reformed. There’s many, many issues. There’s also plenty of examples of racism, sexism and worse in various police forces.

Can I ask what you were arrested for? And is your daughter getting support now? I don’t quite understand why they showed you the video of them entering your house but it clearly had something to do with you as it was your house?

There definitely needs to be a (safe) alternative to calling the police for someone in a current mental health crisis. But there isn’t at the moment so not sure else could be done at the time if it was decided she wasn’t safe or was making other people unsafe.

I don't think the crisis team actually sent them. Essentially, they wanted me to keep my daughter at home while they arranged someone to come over. While they were organising it they had put us in the queue for an ambulance just in case. She'd asked about was my daughter violent, I'd said no, but she was a bit unsteady/all over the place and she said she'd mention it just in case they might want a police officer there to help if necessary. The plan wasn't even for an ambulance, if we did need one it would be hours away and they may request an officer. So why on earth 8 of them turned up at mine I have no idea. It just seemed like they were bored and decided to terrorise an innocent vulnerable family.

Me ending up in custody...long story. So as referenced above my daughter's mental health team had deemed she was better safeguarded at home. But it is not always easy to get through to the right person to get this plan actioned as many staff will just automatically call an ambulance who will automatically take the patient into hospital. So we were in this awful crisis situation and I was trying to get my daughter help. First person says I'm going to call an ambulance. I asked them not to and explained why. Hang up and try again to speak to someone who can help. I'm on the phone to someone helpful when the ambulance turn up. I tell them we do not need an ambulance explain why etc. They just keep pressuring me to let them in, which is distracting me from trying to talk to the person who is going to organise help. I end up letting them in, again explaining the situation, that I'm on the phone. They just decide they are taking her to hospital. I end up having to stop talking to the person on the phone and say I'll ring them back so I can again explain the situation to the ambulance crew. Tell them an ambulance isn't required. Taking her to hospital puts her and others in danger etc etc. They are not listening. I ask them to let me phone back the mental health to get her help and they can speak to them to evidence what I'm saying. But no, they won't agree to that. At this point I lose my temper and throw their bag down the stairs (which I shouldn't have done of course.) So the woman says she's called the police. The police arrest me...I'm assuming for damaging equipment of some sort. But no, it changed continually as to what the charge was but eventually it was that I had pushed the female crew member. Luckily, the other crew member spoke up for me and said I'd not pushed her. And when they arrested me I was put in a van as if I was a violent criminal and standing next to the van grinning at me was one of the officers who had assualted my daughter. But this is the really odd thing. A few months later I had a letter through the post. It was some court paperwork that shouldn't have been sent to me. It detailed that this same crew member had accused someone else of pushing them not long after accusing me!

If I got arrested I was obviously the problem? Really? Great critical thinking skills. Ever heard of innocent until proven guilty?

And yep, you got me munchhausen by proxy right here.

You sound like a disaster. Refusing entry and throwing a paramedics bag down the stairs? Really mature.

The emergency services were not the problem in this situation, you were.

My medication is in a blister pack made up by the pharmacy so all officially labelled and organised. The health professionals at the custody suite were able to identify it all and had no issue with it. The police officer lied that it was in a dosset box and couldn't be identified. This lie rolled off his tongue while my blister pack sat on the counter next to him!

Op, I am not disputing in any way at all that reform is needed.

If I am honest I have never had much involvement with the police and the small amounts I have had have been positie.

My question to those who are suggesting reform, what would you change?

How would you guarantee that within 10 years we would not be back in the same position? There are criminals out there that is a fact, the only way to protect the general public from them is a functioning police force of a pretty large size.

When you need to recruit the number of people that we do to maintain the police force there are always going to be those who slip in that shouldn't be. Those who are attracted by the idea they can get away with things or abuse authority. I really dont know how you stop this.

I was arrested for eventually pushing one of the ambulance crew. It changed numerous times from making one or both feel unsafe or assaulting one or both. Funnily enough the thing I did which was throwing the bag down the stairs was never mentioned!

My daughter is doing really well now, thank you very much.

Noone could say why they wanted me to watch them breaking in my house. I also don't understand why the ambulance crew didn't let them in? But my solicitor said they were just trying to upset me. It certainly just seemed like a game to them.

I agree about an alternate number. But in our case there was an agreed plan for my daughter. It was to keep her at home and the mental health team would come to us. Eventually, we managed to get the plan implemented and my daughter got the help she needed (which was obviously a long road but she got there in the end, thank goodness.)

Alway like to hear the alternative version of events in these scenarios

That is the thing I really don't know either, which is why I was interested if anyone had any ideas!

Unfortunately, my experience has shown me it is not just 1 or 2 bad apples. It is systemic. I'm sure some keen youngsters come in wanting to help, but I think they get influenced by those within the system who can just lie and be abusive so easily. Any that remain decent would leave not wanting to work in that toxic environment.

I feel it's almost like most who are attracted to be a police officer should be disregarded straight away as they are attracted to the power and violence. But you can't exactly recruit people for a job they've not put themselves forwards for!

All my dealings with the police, I have found them to be calm, reasonable & professional. I worked with them for eight years on missing persons cases and didn't once have a serious issue.

However that does not mean that other forces and other departments behave as well as the team I worked with did.

One thing they absolutely should change - Met Police I'm looking specifically at you - is to vet candidates properly. Not just criminal records but academic and professional qualifications as well. And raise the bar on what they will accept in terms of previous concerns/convictions etc.

This sounds utterly chaotic @BrighterDaysAhead2026

There is an awful lot going on and focussing on police reform is never going to be a good use of your time. Systems are made up of people, people are flawed and systems have a magnification of those flaws.

You need to focus your attention on your own and your daughter’s needs being met and on what you can control. The policie won’t be changing any time soon and you have enough on your plate.

So if some thugs had assaulted your daughter and you also couldn't leave her without possible harm, you'd put her in harms way and then politely go and let the thugs in? OK, then. The ambulance crew could of course had let them in. I wasn't barricading the door, I was just doing my job as a mother and looking after my child.

And yes, you are right, I shouldn't have thrown the bag down the stairs. It was immature. But have you never been in a highly stressful situation, barely slept and dealing with a very challenging situation and on top of that there are people hindering you getting your daughter the help she needs? Have you always behaved perfectly in that situation?

Thank you for your thoughts. That is the kind of information I am interested to hear. Those do sound very important safeguards.

This was a while ago now and my daughter is in a good place now, thankfully (as am I). It was a very intense, chaotic and stressful time, though.

I know nothing will change anytime soon, but ever since it all, I find my mind thinking about reform as it is clearly a broken system, imo.

You've not had any response to your complaint?

I would make sure I get a response. Would some of what you've said show on any body worn footage?

I have had mixed results with the police myself. Some good and some less good

Well, unless the police or said ambulance crew are on MN, I don't think that is likely! But for me the case being thrown out of court was vindication, and the complaint about them assaulting my daughter - I'll do everything in my power to get responded to. It obviously wasn't my priority initially but I have followed it up a number of times now.