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AIBU?

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wanting to move alone with son

5 replies

Wiggles2894 · 01/09/2026 19:29

Am I being unreasonable to want to move away with my 3-year-old?

I’m looking for some honest opinions because I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

I currently live in the North West with my little boy, who is 3, and I’m considering moving to the North East. It would be around a two-hour drive from my family, so not incredibly far away, but obviously far enough that I wouldn’t be able to just pop over whenever I wanted.

The main reason I want to move is because I feel like it could give me and my little boy a fresh start and the opportunity to build a better life for ourselves. I’ve been in the same place for a long time and I feel like a change could bring better opportunities for both of us.

My mum thinks I need to consider things like what would happen if I needed to go to hospital or had an emergency, as I wouldn’t have a support network nearby. I completely understand where she’s coming from, but at the same time, I’ve only ever had to go to hospital once, so I don’t know whether I should base such a huge decision on something that might happen.

I do have family and a good support network where I currently live, and I know how lucky I am to have that. However, during the week it is generally just me and my little boy. Occasionally, at weekends, I might have help from family if I go out with friends, but that only happens rarely. My nana also helps me a lot with taking him to and from preschool, mainly because where I live isn’t particularly local to his current preschool.

So although I do have support around me, I still do the majority of the day-to-day parenting and manage things independently.

I also wouldn’t be moving anytime soon. I’m thinking at least next year, once my little boy has finished preschool and is due to start primary school. I’m currently looking at work-from-home jobs so that I can hopefully have something suitable in place before moving, and I’ve already started looking at primary schools in the area I’m considering moving to. I would make sure that work, housing, childcare and his school were properly sorted before making any decisions.

Obviously, I know moving away with a young child is a big decision, which is why I’m trying to think about everything properly now rather than making a rushed decision.

I suppose I just want honest opinions

Please be honest but kind!

(won’t let me add it into the other paragraph about hospital but i was rushed in due to a suspected stroke but was cleared from it and awaiting referral for further checks)

OP posts:
Truetoself · 01/09/2026 19:33

what is missing from your life now that you are hoping to get in the north east? If it was me I would stay put. If it was me with a tiny family, I would try to maximise relationships with other family I have

Threekandles · 01/09/2026 19:34

I live far far away from friends and family.

I notice that you talk about living near people you know in terms of what help they give you. I don't really miss the help. I've never had any! But it's important to have people around you to laugh with, to have a wine or a coffee with, to update about small things in ongoing conversations. It can be quite lonely and isolating at times, especially at the beginning. Everyone else is with their families for Sunday lunch.

It depends a bit what sort of person you are, socially. Will you roll up your sleeves, make connections, join a car pool, invite new friends over?

Wiggles2894 · 01/09/2026 19:42

if i am being honest I want a fresh start away from everyone and everything associated with this town, including my son’s father and the history connected to that situation. I don’t mean that I want to completely isolate myself—I want the opposite. I want the opportunity to build a new life, meet new people and create friendships, while giving myself and my son a chance to move forward without constantly being surrounded by the past, i do have friends who live in the area so i would meet up with them but yeah i can imagine it will be a big step forward for me, thank you for your replies!

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 01/09/2026 19:44

Is the father in the picture at all?

Wiggles2894 · 01/09/2026 19:47

Ponderingwindow · 01/09/2026 19:44

Is the father in the picture at all?

he hasn’t been for over a year as he is not aloud contact through the courts

OP posts:
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