AIBU to consider this trip to Tokyo?

[Ihaveneedofwaternear]

My brother lives in Tokyo. He doesn't come back that often, I last saw him a year ago. My parents are planning to go next September to visit him for 2 weeks so he won't come back before then, or probably after for a while either.

Would it be mad to go to Tokyo for one week? I've never been away from my kids for that long - me, DH, and kids (9 and 6.5 by then) would probably all struggle with it. It feels selfish because DH wouldn't get a trip like that in terms of expense and experience.

I know the travel time would eat into it so much, plus jet lag. But I've been there once before so don't want to do loads. All I really want to do is see my brother some time in the new few years. Feels mad, though. Would you consider it?

Probably not for a week but I'd definitely go for 10 or 14 days.

I don't think I could leave the kids and DH that long. Doesn't seem fair. It also feels mad because I've only had 24hrs away from either kids since they were born!

Tokyo is amazing. Go. You won’t regret it.

What age are the kids? That would factor into my decision. But generally, not mad, go if you want to, you have a good reason to want to go.

And I'm all for holidays, any excuse!

But 10/14 days would be better...

I think they might be 9 and 6.5 by the time the OP is planning to go. 🔮

I've been to Tokyo for 4 days for a work trip, leaving 5 year old at home with her Dad. It is hard work and you don't really get over the jet lag. But you have a good reason to travel and your kids will be fine. So go for it.

Having been myself for work...

I would def go but would consider 10days
The jet lag is diabolical.

My kids are 4 and 2.5 they love when dh and I travel for work (3-10 days depending) as they get surprises when we come home.

Yeah, I do remember the jetlag being horrendous when I went before... It feels like maybe I'd hardly be able to do anything and it might be a waste of all the money. Except I'd see my brother and we'd all be together, and I don't know how many more times that will happen...

I do not think it’s shocking or selfish, sometimes we want to spend time with family. Have you sounded out your husband?

I went to Canada for almost 2 weeks for a family visit leaving my dp with our 2 year old and my older 2 kids that aren’t even his. He was obviously fine and I had a great time. I’d absolutely do it. Why do you think they’d struggle without you? And for goodness sake don’t do any of that prepping bullshit that women seem to do like a full clean and batch cooking for them. Just go.

Can’t you take the kids too?

Good spot! 🤣

I didn't... 🙈

If you think your husband and kids couldn't cope without you for a week, then you're doing family wrong! Nobody should be that dependent for a short time like that.

Do it. You will regret it if you don't. How often in life to you get these kind of opportunities?

Go! A week isn’t long, but for a trip just to Tokyo with the focus on seeing your brother, I think it’s OK.

The first time I went to east Asia (to Tokyo for just over a week) I got horribly jet lagged and spent the whole trip never really on the right time zone.

I now have a much better jet lag strategy and never really lose any time to jet lag now. We are pretty much good to go from when we land. We always start our trips with a proper shower and change of clothes at Haneda and then set off on a day outdoors in as much natural light as possible on day 1 and force ourselves to stay awake until a normal(ish) bedtime no matter how tired we are. If you don’t give in to the urge to sleep in the middle of the day on day one, you should get onto local time pretty quickly.

Uh oh...

I mean, they'd cope. But I think DH would probably feel stressed and be pretty miserable by the time I got back. And the older one would definitely find it very hard without me, as I'm kind of like his safe person.

Thanks for the jet lag tips, I guess looking at flight time options is worth considering