Has anyone rebuilt their life after reaching rock bottom?

[ThatQuickLimePombear]

I’m in an incredibly difficult period of my life and could really do with hearing from people who have been somewhere similar and eventually come through it.

I’m 32, been unemployed for over a year (last role was a fixed-term contract) despite applying for jobs and doing everything I can to change the situation. I’m also facing the loss of my home this month, with no secure alternative in place. I’m estranged from my family, don’t have a partner and although I have some supportive people in my life, the reality is that I’m dealing with most of this alone.

It feels as though one thing after another has gone wrong and every time I try to move forward, there is another setback. I am exhausted from having to keep fighting just to reach a basic level of security. I don’t want an extraordinary life right now. I just want a home, a job, some stability and the feeling that my life is actually moving forward again.

I am trying. I’m applying for work, engaging with the council, looking into every practical option available to me and slowly preparing to move. But emotionally, I feel as though I’ve reached rock bottom. There are moments when life genuinely doesn’t feel worth it - not because I necessarily want to die, but because I cannot see how or when things are going to become bearable again.

So I’m asking honestly, have you ever reached a point where several important parts of your life had fallen apart at once and you couldn’t see a way forward? Did your circumstances genuinely improve? What changed and how long did it take?

I’m not looking for platitudes or to be told simply to “stay positive.” I would really value honest stories from people who once felt completely trapped and whose lives eventually became safe, stable or happy again. I need some reason to believe that where I am now is not where I will always be.

Sorry to hear you are having such a horrid time. In answer to your question yes I have been and it was really hard. In my case it was loss of health, home and huge reduction in income due to my being unwell. I too am on my own however I do have the blessing of family support.
it was a really rough time for a couple of years really. My only real advice is to take it moment by moment and one challenge at a time. You can only control what you can so try not to stress about the things outside your control. concentrate on the most important first - getting or keeping a roof over your head. Make sure you do at least one enjoyable thing everyday. Rest when you need to and trust that it will come right. If you can find some time every day to go for a walk or get a little exercise and fresh air - it really does help your mental wellbeing.

I used to allow myself 1hr a day to deal with the stressful stuff then walk away till the next day. At my worst it was the absolute most I could handle.

good luck. I really hope things improve for you.

I’m also sorry to read that you’re in this situation.

My rock bottom was health related and although I had a home and support I could not see an end to the debilitating health problem and questioned how I could go on. I lost hope for a good few months. It impacted my ability to work (I remained employed but I didn’t do a good job and struggled with everything and eventually had to move to a much lesser paid role). It also meant I withdrew socially because it affected my appearance and my hearing and my confidence was at an all time low.

I did get through it and came out the other side, it took about another year until I felt anything like normal and much much longer for the anxiety about a relapse to subside. After a few years I started to feel like my self again and realised I was enjoying life.

when I look back now I see it as a part of my history and a small chunk of my life but much more of my life has been positive. I couldn’t see this at the time but I realise now that everything will pass.

It helped me to try and think of the positive things that happened as a result for example :
I am much more empathetic to people with health issues
I don’t take things for granted
I am more resilient than I ever realised etc etc

So I wanted to say to you that this is a phase of your life, it doesn’t define you and you will look back one day and realise how strong you were (you may not see that now) and what you learned from the experience will help you in the future. This will pass.

I have been through a couple of these moments unfortunately, it really can feel like you’re drowning.
The worst was in 2022, I’d just turned 30 and I had my 5 year-old DD and I was privately renting a lovely home. My landlord had to sell after struggling through Covid and absolutely no estate agent would even look at me because they were inundated with applications from couples moving out after the Covid lockdowns. Who would pick a single Mum’s income over two incomes?! Nobody.
We ended up homeless, the council put us in a “just shut down” drug den with smashed out windows and a lovely bullet hole in the front door.
I had men climbing the drain pipes to get into the block of flats and were hammering the front door thinking the drug den was still in use. I had to stand by the front door with a knife in silence while my daughter slept.
I was in there for months and I was told I could leave but I’d then lose my place on the council list. After waiting for so long, I had the call that there was a property for me and within 5 days I’d moved into it. Everything changed so quickly.
5 months after moving in, I met my now partner, our second baby together is due any day now. My life today looks like a completely different life to just 4 years ago.
All I know is that I can withstand absolutely anything now.
You will get through these hard times, you won’t know how while you’re in it, but it’s one small step at a time and it suddenly builds up to stability. It feels like you’re battling so many obstacles but you will overcome them. Your life will improve and you’ll find yourself sitting there one evening when everything is quiet and you’ll think “I fucking did it”.
Good luck to you ❤️

Hi op after years of abuse my husband took his own life whilst I was pregnant and with other young children. I ran my own “ business “ in to the ground. Couldn’t function for what felt like an eternity. But a few years on I’m back on my feet. Found a partner who treats me well. Moved house from all those memories. Built my “ business “ back up. If you would have asked me at the time if I was going to survive I would have told you no with heavy certainty. There is more out there and without the bad you never really get to appreciate to good.

yes - 2020. Covid came and uprooted my life, closed my business, and left me penniless and having to stay with family in a different country to where we lived. It basically reset my life to 0 in every way, except for my marriage which somehow survived.

We rebuilt after that, slowly, bit by bit, through a mix of gaining work again, moving location, studying alongside etc. Now things are a lot better, and our life is very respectable and secure.

It is definitely easier looking back on it, than when you are in the moment.

Just try and keep a long-term prospective, and avoid making decisions for 1-2 months if possible. It doesn't matter if you have fixed your life in a few months, it matters if you have fixed it in 5 years etc. You can build slowly to that, and shut out all of the outside noise.