Lighthearted thread, but do you / did you get jealous of other people’s pregnancy bumps?

[NCTDN]

My children are now old teenagers, but whenever I see pregnant women I always find myself comparing their bumps to what I was like. I massively regret not taking more photos whilst pregnant, but my bumps were tiny compared to most people (think I had a lot round the sides rather than all at the front). At no point did I notice a foot or arm or anything on my bump. Both DCs were born naturally, one was 6lb and the other 8lb.
This is lighthearted - I know how fortunate I am to have had two healthy pregnancies - but am I abnormal in wishing my bumps had been bigger? Aibu to have wished that?

Reflect on what?

I'm not the one feeling jealous of the size of other people's baby bumps for heaven's sake!

Not at all. Mg babies were very longed for and wanted, but I hated being pregnant. I think the pregnant body is ugly.

Don’t like the thread, don’t click and don’t comment,

Well actually I read the OP and made a comment. Since then all I've done is reply to pp who have taken issue with what I said! Other than that I haven't bothered with the thread.
I am being bloody minded in replying to you because you really don't have the right to tell me not to post a comment

God, no! I hated being pregnant, despite not feeling sick or having any issues. I hated the extra weight, the clumsy heaviness of it all, the inability to run or dance, the discomfort trying to sleep. I wasn't particularly big and managed to hide my bump from colleagues until 7 months - black tshirts & trousers under boxy coloured jackets will hide almost anything.

I don't have any pictures of me pregnant either. I was thrilled when I got back in to my jeans, and binned my maternity clothes immediately. I was definitely one and done, although I love the very bones of ds. 😊

You hated pregnancy but you had 5 kids?

In the spirit of the thread... A tragedy OP I totally understanding wishing you'd taken more photos – so do I, although I do have some nice ones.

I loved my baby bumps. I'm tall so they were nice and neat, but quite prominent at the front with no spread to the sides, and late in pregnancy I could often see my whole bump change shape and warp as baby turned, or see a foot or a bottom poking out. I found it so fascinating – I was absorbed by my own bump in the last trimester.

That’s really weird

Why are you thinking about it now? I’ve never heard anyone say they felt jealous of someone else’s baby bump. I’ve never experienced jealousy for that reason either

Did you have girls @NCTDN ?

My pregnancy with DS was as @OtterlyAstounding describes but with DDs I remember having a meeting at work with people I didn’t see much of and said something about my maternity leave and everyone was surprised I was pregnant. I was a bit overweight at the time so I was miffed thinking they thought I was just fat but the old wives tales about pregnancy bump shapes held true for me.

I used to work with a woman like you. She and her Peter struggled to conceive so when someone else in the team got pregnant, we had to coo over her bump and talk about pregnancy whilst she wasn’t there. Shifts were exhausting because she ruined the experience at work for our colleague. Yes it’s heartbreaking when you desperately want children but can’t and those around you are getting pregnant but the world doesn’t stop because of their problems.

my first bump was awful because I was overweight. My hips and bum got massive! My second one, I’d lost 6 stone and had a lovely bump. Couldn’t tell I was pregnant from the back.

my best friend had the neatest, cutest could eat your cereal off type of bump.

i do miss being pregnant, i felt like i was protecting my unborn baby and keeping him safe. Now the word “no” is top in my vocabulary and im constantly treading on bricks.

I used to work with a woman like you.
You know absolutely nothing about me so how can you possibly assume I am like your poor colleague who you seem to resent because her personal anguish spoiled your fun. Honestly cooing over peoples pregnancy bumps sounds absolutely insane behaviour.

A pregnancy bump isn't a fashion accessory.

I imagine you think I’m a woman like that. I TTC for years. Had multiple miscarriages. Spent thousands on IVF. And yeah you know what I couldn’t be around people cooing over a pregnancy bump and scans and people constantly talking about either how amazing or awful pregnancy is. I guess the difference is no one knew I was struggling with infertility and thought I was just weird that I’d just smile politely and take myself off to the loo to hide when these conversations started. No one knew I was actively going through my 4th miscarriage the day someone thrust a scan photo in my face while I was working and expected me to squeal with happiness like everyone else. No one knew I was debating leaving my husband so he could find someone else not infertile and have the family he wanted. But yeah just call me a misery guts all you like. I guess I am. I still smile politely with a congratulations when required and leave conversations like that. I’m pretty good at smiling when everyone tells me I “best get a move on at my age!!” at work. (I’m 44. The move on has long past). I don’t care what people want to talk about at work. But why do I have to be present and join in for these things? I’m more than happy just to leave and go elsewhere if that’s all people want to talk about. I will never experience what all these other women are/have. So no I do not want to join in.

OP isn't "regretting" the size of her bump. That doesn't even make sense. Are you okay?!

OP, I miss my bump. I unexpected gave birth quite early, so I felt like my pregnancy was cut short. Thankfully baby all fine but it wasnt the ending to pregnancy I was expecting. It's been years now but whenever I see a pregnant belly, I remember mine very fondly! I loved having a bump :)

@Boupp you aren’t a misery guts at all. But it is different because you’re dealing with your own heartbreaking issues in your own way.

Wanting children and not having them is the absolute worst and one of the reasons is that it’s very hard to avoid adverts, bumps, babies, especially when you’re a certain age. But equally these can’t be hidden away, it just isn’t possible or practical and for the most part we celebrate pregnancy and birth so what can we do? I don’t have any answers here but I do know expecting pregnant women to not be pregnant isn’t it! (I know you weren’t suggesting this!)

Well actually looking back at the start of the thread OP said she regretted not taking more photos of her pregnancy and wished her bumps had been bigger. Does that make sense to you? It doesn't to me.

It makes perfect sense to me.

might not share her view especially but it doesn’t not make sense!

One girl, one boy, but similar size bumps. I was another who went on maternity leave and some people asked why I was finishing work.
i suppose that I feel I missed out on the whole fascination of identifying limbs if they were prioritising like some people here have said. Plus in all honesty I would have liked a third baby but knew we were very fortunate to have two healthy children. I’m certainly not ready to be a grandparent though!

Regretting not taking more pictures? Perfect sense.
Being jealous of ladies with "perfect" looking (to OP) bumps? Also makes sense to me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

But she has two children- the actual purpose and result of those pregnancies. Why does she need photos to remind her of the pregnancies?

Perfect bumps? Dear God yet another ridiculous and unreal aspiration to pressurise women and make them feel inadequate. What happened to the age old and totally normal aspiration of pregnancy: to have a healthy baby that goes on to having a happy and fulfilled life? Since when did what the baby bump look like become the ultimate aim of pregnancy and the child just an incidental bi - product? Insanity.

It didn’t. The OP is one woman. There are many women in the world.

This is absolutely my experience too!

As an aside I can't stand seeing women cradling their baby bumps in photos. It's not going to suddenly drop off 😅

Reading this thread I have only just realised that there are zero pictures of me pregnant! Maybe a few early on in my first pregnancy... but this was in the days of cameras and developing film and I was usually the one taking pictures!

I'm of the age where my own children are producing babies and I urge them to take lots of pictures of their bumps - the time is gone so fast. But I don't find myself looking at other women's bumps and comparing - every pregnancy is SO individual that you can't really compare.

Literally nobody has suggested that’s the aim of pregnancy. People can be grateful for healthy baby, and even had difficult pregnancies… and still have other opinions at the same time about their bump or whatever. Having more than one thought about a subject is totally possible.

My back hurt – sometimes quite badly – if I'd been on my feet too long, once I had a sizable bump. Holding it helped ease the pain and discomfort.