AIBU to completely hate my phone?

[Sorab]

I am 55 yo, loved the internet when I first got on it, going on message boards then Facebook, downloading tracks from kazaa all the rest of it. I loved the convenience of being able to shop, bank, book holidays even (!) online and would fire up my trusty modem to do all this stuff.

So when smartphones came along I thought : great, now I can do all this without having to log in to my computer, I can just do it wherever. Everything will be simple and seamless, how freeing.

Fifteen years later and I hate my fucking phone. I had to turn off notifications because they were sending me mental but all that means is that every night I go through them, reply to the ones I can, ditch the others and increasingly I feel harassed and got-at. Because it's fucking endless.

Sign up for eternal emails or pay 10% more, review this product, please review this product, did you enjoy this product and if not why haven't you reviewed it what are you some kind of boomer. Any questions? Download our app. Want to park your car? Download our app. Please ensure you read the 140 page terms and conditions in the 30 seconds you have before payment is due in order that you can in full knowledge tick the consent box before we shaft you with a £75 fine.

Fancy a trip to the theatre? Download our app. Talk to the bot in the meantime. It won't help but it does mean your active life span is significantly shorter. Want to see the Uffizi? Wade through endless scam sites and getyourguide scalpers before, eight hours in, triumphantly securing an entry ticket for 4.30pm on the 56th of Doctember 2089. Bank error in your favour? WRONG, you fucking dweeb. I think you'll find that you consented to being hacked by some gibbering fool in St Petersburg when we closed your local branch and now this £2000 shortfall is on you.

And that's before you even consider all the personal communications. Nobody phones any more. It's endless fucking WhatsApps. It takes eleventy billion years just to arrange a drinks meet-up and when you finally get close to zero hour all day it's pingpingping 'i might be late ' 'im on my way ' 'im on the train but it's busy ', yeah sure fascinating but we don't need to know this. It's like being in a constant state of interruption. I'm not even including the hobby group/work/street WhatsApps because I've long ignored them. I figure if my house/child/town is on fire I'll realise and anything else I'll get to eventually.

In just a few short years, really less than 15, I've gone from thinking that technology is brilliant to feeling harassed, bullied and mildly mugged by it.

AIBU?

You dont sound very 'appy tonight 🤭🤣.

You made me chuckle and are completely right! We've been sucked down a rabbit hole of technology and now AI is coming along to finish off humanity.

That just about sums it up

The internet is shit now. I know I'm saying this on the internet but that doesn't stop it from being true.

Think we're all starting to realise what a curse it is. You're not alone..m

Yes, you've captured it just right - we're all living the blissful tech-enabled lifestyle...

I miss saying 'see you in the pub at 8 on Friday' then not hearing a peep until you all got there.

Brilliantly put, I could not agree more. I’m a little bit younger than you OP and ignore all WhatsApps unless they genuinely need a quick response, usually DH asking what to feed kids for tea etc but even so, pretend I’m dead.
I have deleted and deactivated all social media, have my phone permanently on do not disturb. I fucking hate the intrusion and the expectation that we’re all instantly accessible. I genuinely grieve the days before phones when there was human connection, interaction and people experienced life rather than living through a screen. You’re absolutely not wrong.

I miss saying 'see you in the pub at 8 on Friday' then not hearing a peep until you all got there.

Yes, that's what humanity did since forever. Why do we now feel the need to send a WhatsApp at 7.55 saying 'nearly there' ? Of course you're nearly there. You're due there at 8. Ffs this is not news.

Yes. I think there was a brief moment in time when the internet and phones made things easier and better. But we’ve now reached the stage where in some emergency situations it’s amazing and irreplaceable, but day-to-day life is being ruined by endless password requests, resets, scrolling through multiple pages of crap, thousands of emails etc etc. It’s a nightmare.

There was a thread about lateness and the number of people who said they'd message if a couple of minutes late. Who needs that level of update?

Maybe it's time to rise up against it all and just collectively decide to stop doing it?

You're not wrong. I've realised recently just how unhappy my phone is making me. Algorithms are dreadful making us stressed, miserable and divided. It used to be fun, but now seems soul sucking.

Thank Goodness I'm a boomer and don't give a shit.
Have this from me and ignore the notifications for one night at least.

Spot on.

I personally don't do it. I wish others wouldn't too.

The other side of this mindset that texting replaces human interaction is people cancelling arrangements via WhatsApp, just outright deciding not to come and sending a message rather than having an actual conversation - I've seen this a few times one of which was to a supper at my house (other people were coming too so tbf it wasn't a disaster but still) which to my mind is quasi sociopathic behaviour, and this from people who I've known a long time and think probably aren't sociopathic but for whatever reason are so entrenched in technology they're not thinking right.

I've said for years that I'd love a phone that literally just made or received calls. No texts, no internet no nothing.

Welll... when you put it like that.

Yes! I hate my phone too.

I've a pain in my behind with all the apps, logins, passwords, password managers, 2fa, but then, I had to speak to a person today for something household bill related and they asked me do many f#£king questions about signing up for this thing and that thing, confirming the other thing, that although initially i was delighted to speak to a real person, who was very helpful and pleasant, I ended up nearly hanging up on her with frustration that the conversation wasn't over yet!

Gah! Rage...

YANBU and the fucking things never work properly anyway and they cost a FUCKING fortune!!

Pretty sure that some virginal IT person designed the script that the customer service rep was reading from.

I think that's a large part of the problem. The internet is in general designed by poorly socialised males who won't be content until everyone on earth is as angry and dissatisfied with life as they are. We weren't like it to start with, but give us another few years of interacting with bots and scammers every time we try to undertake even a single simple transaction and we'll be joining them in Incelhalla.

My mum still has one and she's blissfully unaware - but then she has dementia, so that has a bit to do with it 😳.

I went to my childhood home town recently, I noticed still in its old location, public library that I used to visit so often because... so many things we couldn't do easily in 1970s.

We had to phone, read countless books, cross check sources, look up addresses in special directories, wait for grumpy photocopier, phone up for addresses, wait for call back, order stuff in the mail by filling in a form and writing a check and wait weeks for delivery. Then weeks to send items back if not right. I would phone so many stores trying to find some specific good(s) then figure out when could I get to those stores to buy. The library was open limited hours.

I really really really like the convenience of the Internet.
Online banking is the Bees Knees and the Hamsters Cheeks, it's ruddy wonderful.

Emails or Messages you don't like: Unsubscribe, Delete, Ignore.
I only have WhatsApp notifications on ,the rest I look at when suits me.

Need a quick decision from somebody: PHONE them. It's not rude. They can decline if busy.

@lljkk I would have agreed with you 15 years ago, unreservedly. Ten years ago with some reservations, five years ago with a few more, but now? Sweet Jesus, trying to get accurate information from the internet is the devil's own job. And we're still only on the cusp of AI. Once it really takes effect the thing will be unusable.

I've already gone back to reading print news (the Financial Times, if you're interested) because even though I can access some quality newspapers on my phone it doesn't give me anything near a balanced view in terms of articles it suggests and the depth and scope isn't comparable to leafing through a paper page by page and seeing what catches my eye.

I think over the next few years more people will do the same. I hope they do. I don't trust one bit anything that the algorithms throw at us.

Maybe serious academic publications, but they're now mostly behind paywalls.

Already, we're close to the point where anything you want to verify, you need to look up in a book.

Most serious academic publications are open-access.
NHS website is free, so is NICE, NIHR, Parliament documents.

Some browsers let you turn off AI mode and then you instead get links to original text and can see origin of info to decide on credibility.

FT does fantastic journalism, agreed !

So glad you agree about the FT! It's been a joy rediscovering it.

Ofc government (and I include the NHS in this) spiels are freely available. It's not exactly quality stuff though is it - all civil servants and careerists. The lancet, law reports etc are all subscription based. And most of the internet is just fucking dire now. Scammers, bots and thieves, to paraphrase Cher.

@Sorab you missed that when there is an app that works really well, nobody can leave it alone. They have to constantly fiddle and eventually take something that worked really well and totally screw it up.

I don't use WhatsApp now, I did when it first came out but if anyone wants me they can text, I have switched on the silence unknown callers, again if they want me they can text or voicemail.