To remove a sentimental middle name from baby’s birth certificate?

[ashhhhh2]

I had a baby a little while ago and to appease family I included a middle name in remembrance of my deceased dad that I didn’t really want to. She now has 2 middle
names. Would it be really awful of me to remove it? Like removing him? Or is it a non event? Everyone says middle names don’t matter but it matters to me so surely if they matter so little it shouldn’t matter if i remove it if that makes sense? Just wondering if I’m awful if it take it out!

OP I’m sure your baby would rather have a weird middle name than have to prove the name change every single time she needs to prove ID for official reasons for the rest of her life.

You’re not awful at all. If the name doesn’t feel right to you, it’s reasonable to change it. Removing a middle name isn’t removing your dad or what he meant to you.

My SIL convinced me to use the name of her son who passed away as a middle name, she fell out with me. My son dropped the name he says he doesn't use his middle names anyway.

I think it's fairly easy to amend the BC in the first 12 months (it will appear as a correction rather than a new cert but any official docs generated after that will use the corrected version). My mum had this - similar to her first name originally being registered as Lillian but her parents decided to change it to Gillian when she was a few weeks old. Has never been a problem for her.

But the other way of looking at it is - if it's only one of the middle names, does it really matter? How often do we go around telling people our middle names? If I asked my 5 closest friends what my middle name is, I doubt they all know it. Maybe none of them would get it right! When you fill in forms etc it's easy just to miss off the middle name, particularly if it's a second middle name. My husband and kids all have two middle names and even some official docs only include the first one (or just an initial for the second one) as that is all there is room for.

Also, would it cause upset in your family to remove your dad's name? Is it not easier to just let it sit there, largely ignored?

My 20yo has a middle name and it’s never used now. For example Lily Rose Pettifer is just Lily Pettifer (not her real name). I have a middle name and apart from my mother, no-one uses it. My brother has our father and grandfather’s names as middle names, and never uses them. Middle names are fine to honour someone in the family or a close friend but are otherwise useless.

I’d leave it. It’s just a middle name, she likely won’t use it much day-to-day.

As an aside though, my surname was changed from my mum’s maiden name to my father’s surname when I was 6, and I’ve never been asked to prove the change. I always specify that I’ve been ‘known by another name’ too.

If you have pnd, then this concern over the middle name is very likely related to that. I'd just go ahead and remove the name all the same, if it doesn't sound right to you.

Hopefully you are getting treatment for the pnd.

Does your family have a habit of pressuring you into decisions you're not really comfortable with? Maybe look into ways of asserting yourself/ resisting pressure when you start feeling better? Therapy might be a good idea.

I love multiple middle names, my kids only have 1 middle name but when I'm feigning outrage at them I like to add in a few extra 'mary Jane sue Georgina wilhemina smyth' gives a great basis for expressing horror at them and making them laugh. Even better to throw the wrong one in, so the girl gets a strong of boys names and vice versa.

If your dad's a horror I would remove it otherwise I'd keep it

The only time I've ever known middle names used at all is opening a bank account and getting married. I've got friends I've known for many years and I have no idea if they have a middle name or not.