To move my child’s school

[Schoolmove]

Last year, my child had a poo accident at school (he’s 7 and his access to the toilet had apparently been blocked to the toilet.

School phoned me to collect him. When I collected him, he was stood on a bin bag to prevent poo on anything else and still in his dirty clothes, despite having spare kit in school. He was in full view of other children.

I would see how it goes on his day back, if anything is said i'd think about it. Children can be cruel about incidents like this. Poor DS that must've been awful.

More detail needed preferably.

Are you concerned about other children bullying him
because they saw he’d had an accident or that he wasn’t cleaned up?

People don't forget. I would move him.

The two children who blocked access to the toilet (only one available) have done so before. This has led to previous accidents.

DC doesn’t want to return to school.

DC is being investigated for language and communication issues, school are aware of this - he barely spoke until half way through reception.

DC also has a muscular issue that affects gross motor skills.

School will not apply for an EHCP.

Is there a place in another school for him?

Yes, we live in the (very) rural north so most primaries are tiny and undersubscribed. All schools involve a drive, so won’t make much difference in that respect.

I’m a teacher of 7 year olds and have been for 25 years. I’d move him. The culture sounds off. I’m sorry that happened to your boy.

I agree, @hopspot - if you can move him, do, @Schoolmove.

Move him.

That doesn’t sound right OP. I would move him if you can.

My DC was at a school at a similar age with a bullying problem, it was one of DC’s friends being bullied. I decided it was getting out of hand and moved DC to a different village school where DC was instantly much happier.

Yes! Move him! I don’t understand why you’ve waited till the new term? That school sounds shocking, I’d move him because of that not because of the other children !

I would definitely change schools. The fact the school is not supporting your child's needs is unacceptable and will more than likely only get worse. Constant stress and upset for your son and for you. Also, the accident would have me wanting to change my child's school. I had an accident when I was in primary school and the other children did not let me forget it. I was in Primary One and it followed me all the way throughout primary and some of secondary as a result. I struggled enormously due to this. Lots of children can be very cruel and others then join in so they are not viewed as being on the outside. Sorry if this causes you upset at all as I genuinely do not mean to do so. I just wanted to share my own experience of what happened. The school should not have left him like that and most certainly not left in full view of other pupils. I hope he is as okay as he can be and you are clearly a very good mother to him

Without a doubt you need to move him.

Why have you waited until September to deal with this when you could have rang other schools in the area and sorted his place before summer?!
You’re focusing on the poo accident but it sounds like this is a case of sustained and repeated bullying, this is one of several occasions 2 other children have prevented your child from using the toilet and as a result he has had accidents? Where was the teacher in all of this? What have they said about allowing this to happen another time?

My daughter had a water infection last year, she had a little accident 4 times in the school day - they gave her clean pants each time (last pair were age 3-4 she was 6) they made sure she was ok and not in pain, called me and I got her a drs appointment for later in the day. Absolutely didn't mention it to any one even when she was upset.
That's in a busy oversubscribed city center school with classes of 30... Yes it's slightly different as she cleaned herself up but the care was there. There is absolutely no reason for them to embarrass him like that.

You have to approach individual schools here, so not as easy as the form - everything is on ‘rural time’ here 😂

We are visiting a school tomorrow (as organised with the head) that has its own small farm - that’s how rural we are 😅

Bear in mind, DC has a language and communication delay. Much of this information has only come to light over the summer break.

Also, schools here do not have staff on site etc at all over summer. Many schools have a total of 4 teachers including the head and one admin staff. To organise a school visit / mo e, you email the head teacher and wait for a reply. It’s very different to being in a town.

Unless he completely refused help to clean and change, or you have specifically removed your consent to his personal care being attended to, I am appalled that staff left him standing in his faeces until you arrived

And I say that as someone who has worked in schools and has cleaned my fair share of shit up from other peoples children. No it’s not nice, but accidents happen and no child deserves to be left like that. I would move him

He can clean and change himself, they have consent to help him if needed. He had not refused at all and was very upset he was not allowed to get changed. Their excuse was the lack of available staff, yet they were able to supervise him.

That's absolutely shocking behaviour from the school.

Doing nothing about the children that blocked him from going to the toilet, refusing to help apply for an EHCP (you can do this yourself btw...) and then refusing to let him go and change himself.

Absolutely awful!

Not only should you change his school, you should also put in a complaint with the governors. No child should be treated like that.

His current school don’t value your child’s dignity. Glad to hear you’re viewing another school. Hope your wee boy is ok

I would .move him. Also, you do not need the agreementv or support of the school to apply for an EHCP. It is your legal right to apply. You can do it directly with the local authority SEND department to request the form. They local authority have 6 weeks from submission to do the assesment.

Protocol as far as I’m aware would be to have 2 members of staff present if he needed help with any intimate personal care, or needed an adult to enter the room at any point. Otherwise one member of staff could have waited by the toilet door while he cleaned himself. It’s not ok he wasn’t given the opportunity to do this

I would actually make a complaint about that even if you do move him

Yes definitely move him. Shocking that the school can’t cope appropriately with primary school age bullies, especially a small school where I bet everyone knows exactly who they are. This is not somewhere you want your child.

Move yes