AIBU to feel lonely and tearful on maternity leave?

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I am starting to wonder if I have PND or if feeling lonely/isolated during maternity leave is normal. I have a gorgeous 5 month old who I love to bits but I am wondering if I am starting to develop PND or if I what I am feeling is normal?

My appetite has decreased, I am very tearful and feel isolated. I still get out every day with my baby but I just feel so lonely? My family came over on Sunday and I did not want them to leave, I loved having adult company. My husband is rarely here as he works, I -am responsible for baby since the beginning - putting baby to bed, getting baby up, all night feeds. Maybe my adrenaline has wore off?

AIBU to feel very lonely during my maternity leave? And any tips to help solve it? I have joined a music class to take baby to once a week and that starts this week. Will this feeling lift?

This was absolutely me. I love my kids but found the early years so dull. I cried a lot which at the time I put down to lack of sleep and possible PND. But then I realised I craved adult conversation about adult (non-baby related) things and getting back to using my brain. I remember coming home from a friends and realised the only thing we'd talked about all night was babies. No politics, no current affairs, not even any inane tv/music/gossip chat. It was that day that confirmed in my mind that I needed to get back to work and it totally changed my outlook. I went back earlier than planned and never looked back.

I absolutely adored the alone time I had on Mat Leave (babies are demanding but he didn't demand that part of my brain) - but even I had a proper baby gang to chat to, and catch up regularly!

Did you do an antenatal group? If so, it's not too late to try and initiate some get togethers based on that. If not, try Peanut for making friends with other local mums.

My best friend was in my antenatal group, and we bonded over trying to cram a nap into our babies before their swimming lesson at 6m. We spent last Christmas together.

You need a bit more than the random chat whilst trying to stop your baby eating glue at a craft session.

You need to go to GP.

Aww, you just need some adult company! I’m coming to the end of my mat leave now, sadly, but the rhythm of my week went like this:

Monday - Baby Sensory class
Tuesday - RhymeTime at the library
Wednesday - Baby Swimming lesson
Thursday - Baby Massage/ Singing Mamas group
Friday - free time! I went to museums, saw other friends/ family, did some day trips to things like the zoo, etc.

After each class Monday - Thursday I normally went for a very long coffee/ cake afterwards with a few other mums. For the swimming class, one of the mums just said to me ‘shall we go for a cup of tea afterwards?’ And that turned into a weekly thing, and meeting up other times in the week, too. People want things to do!

Are you on any WhatsApp groups with local mums? There are always, always people willing to go for a coffee/ walk/ cheap soft play/ try out a new baby class.

Try searching for the ‘It Takes A Village’ group and see if there’s one in your area. I’ve heard great things about this.

I think the music class is a great start. After one or two, just choose someone who looks nice and smiley and ask if they want a coffee afterwards. There is so much conversational mileage to be had re babies at this stage, and everyone is in the same boat.

Sending hugs and hoping things get much better for you. It just sounds like you need some more adult company. Good luck!!

Sign up to lots of different baby groups – there are usually low-cost ones too. Get out of the house at least once a day. Go to baby cinema. Go to the park. Go to groups and chat to other mums, get a coffee with them. Mat leave can be so hard and isolating, and the way to get through it is to make connections with others. And if your low mood carries on, speak to your health visitor and/or GP.

Being home with a small baby all day can be lonely and isolating. You could have PND or you could just be craving some adult company! Have a look in your local library, there's bound to be a few mum and baby groups on different days, maybe a baby massage class or storytime at the library? I used to take mine to baby group at the Salvation Army - they made tea and stacks of buttered toast and it was lovely to chat to some other mums. If you meet someone you hit it off with, invite them over for lunch or meet up for a walk in the park etc.

Keep an eye on the tearfulness and loss of appetite, if it doesn't improve go and see your GP and talk through how you're feeling.