AIBU to get annoyed when people board before passengers get off?

[amoobaa]

I have very few genuine pet hates, but this is one… and I’m curious to know if other people feel as strongly about it as I do.

People who push in and start boarding a train while passengers are still trying to get off.

The doors open, people start getting off, everyone is waiting to board and someone seizes the opportunity to push their way on, physically pushing through people trying to get off the train.

Or they stand directly in front of the doors and make no attempt to get out the way, so everyone getting off has to manoeuvre around them as they start pushing on.

I don’t get it… I’m standing to one side of the doors, along with every other person on the platform, waiting for everyone to get off before I board, and someone pushes in from behind us and pushes straight past and onto the train. Do they think we’re standing there for fun? 😂

I want to get on too… I’m just waiting because there are people who need to get off first.

There are announcements specifically saying “please allow passengers to leave the train before boarding”, and I’d always assumed this was also reasonably well understood public-transport etiquette.

It also makes practical sense- everybody gets where they’re going faster if you let people out before trying to pile in.

For some reason, this really gets under my skin. I commute regularly and probably see some version of it at least once a week. I can be remarkably unbothered by lots of things, so perhaps this is simply where I channel all my rage 😂

I find the entitlement enraging, it feels like they’re thinking “everyone else is waiting but I’ll just push through regardless because I’m more important”… but are they? Or are they just oblivious?

Equally, when I’m getting off the train and there are people patiently standing to the side, waiting for us to get off but one random person thinks it’s acceptable to push directly into the space I’m standing, to get on the train first. It makes it impossible to get off the train without ducking to one side (because if I just walking or stay where I am, I will collide with them). Sometimes I do that and they look really shocked that I’ve bumped into them. Are they really unaware of what they’re doing?

I’m genuinely curious about the answers.
Firstly, does anyone else get as annoyed by this as I do?

Secondly, what do you actually do in the moment? If someone barges past you while you’re waiting to board, or starts pushing onto the train while you’re still trying to get off, do you say something? Move in their way? Just ignore it? Duck out of their way?

I get so instantly irritated by it that I’m not convinced my instinctive response is always the most appropriate/ constructive one, so I’d like some good responses to have ready…

I really admire the people who occasionally speak up calmly but assertively to call it out. I fully intend to do this but I want suggestions as to what exactly to say 😁

And, most interestingly, is there anyone reading who recognises themselves as the person who boards before people have finished getting off, or walks past the people who are waiting and gets straight on? I genuinely want to know what your thought process is. Were you aware that everyone else was deliberately waiting for passengers to get off? Do you just not think it matters? Or have you never really thought about it?

This happens so rarely. I take public transport a lot, trains and tube, and never really encounter this.

It’s really unhelpful and I imagine makes the whole process of getting people on and off the train more time consuming. However I’d assume it something to do with wanting to get a seat? If it’s a peak time commuter train you hear so many horror stories about them being over full and people sitting on the floor that I can imagine why some people get a bit of everyone for themselves mentality.

This is normal here in Germany. I might be gulity of getting on a bus in the UK faster than seems to be usual. The people getting off don't push as much as in Germany.

I think that’s part of what annoys me- that the person pushing past everyone and making it hard for people to get off the train ultimately ends up being most likely to get a seat

Sometimes I just say ‘let people off first’ in clear ringing tones and if I've seen someone waiting on the platform in the centre of the tube doors to get on when I’m about to get off, I’ve frequently just remained standing there in front of them so they can’t get on and say ‘you might have to let me off first’. I really have turned into that typical grumpy menopausal woman. It doesn’t happen all that often though really. Most people are pretty reasonable I think.

I get this a lot. The tram I'm in pulls in to stop and a boarding passenger (usually a man) will line himself up perfectly right in front of the single door I'm about to exit. When the door opens he often does that little lurch forward expecting me to creep off to the side. I enjoy standing stock still till he gets the message and steps away 😁

People are not taught manners by their parents anymore.

I don’t think it happens that often. Most people let people off first. However, some people are so slow to get off and don’t get themselves ready before their stop. At many stations, including my local one, the train doesn’t stop for long so sometimes you have to get on before the stragglers have got off. Our train doors open wide enough to let the stragglers get off and people get on.

Yes I did wonder if it’s a variation in cultural norms that sometimes contributes. Understanding this side of things would help me feel less murderous 😂

But getting on a bus quickly is different to pushing in front of someone who is in front of you and has been waiting to get on. Also buses are quite different because there is an exit door and an entry door (trains have the issue of everyone exiting and boarding through the same doors 😅)

When you say that people getting off don’t push as much as they do in Germany… Are you saying that in Germany people really push their way off the train?

Snap! Cross post! You described it more succinctly than I did.

I'm surprised, don't the usually efficient Germans find it quicker if you let the disembarkers clear the area first.

Doesn't getting in each others way slow things down?

I think I need to channel more of your energy… “You might have to let me off first” is exactly the level of calm, factual disapproval I need to aspire to 😂

As a peri-menopausal woman myself, perhaps I should consider this my training period.

Everybody gets on the bus quickly through any door. It doesn't matter whose been waiting longest and there is no queue. If you're on the bus and want to get off you need to push past the people getting on if you weren't quick and stood at the door when the bus stopped.

No, it works well. Also no queues for busses!

I very rarely see this tbh. People just wait and then board.

Sometimes you think everyone has exited but there’s a straggler who gets in the way but generally speaking, it’s fairly calm. South coast.

I aspire to this level of composure 😂 I’m usually raging internally, whereas simply standing completely still and letting them discover the laws of physics for themselves sounds far more effective

Since leaving London, I don’t use public transport anymore. But if this happens, I’m barging straight past the pushers.

@Mumsntfan1interesting, I was just about to post that I was surprised to see this in Germany when on holiday this Summer. I assumed it being Germany there would be a system of sorts, but the train station felt chaotic.

I don't travel my train much but I've noticed people doing it at lifts a lot. Kids also instinctively do this, they stand right in front, and I guess kids turn quickly into teens. If i see a kid doing this or a teen I always ask the to wait but I say it nicely 'sorry luv you'll have to step to the side til we leave first'. They always do because they just don't realise. I've less patience with an adult who should know better and I also say it but perhaps not so pleasantly.

YANBU.

Thankfully, I’m live in Glasgow, where it’s rare. Offenders would probably be battered to death ok the spot.

<happy sigh>

I book assistance when I go by train. I remember the staff member shouting at someone to let me off

Had it a few times on the bus too. Or they stand right in front of the doors and there's no room to actually get off

This only happens rarely IMO. When it does I often say "please allow passengers off the train before boarding" with exactly the same intonation as the tube announcement, I'm so annoying.

“Calm, factual disapproval”. I feel seen😂😂

I’m enraged by how often I see this on the underground both as a commuter and train driver.

When commuting to/from a shift I’ll often say you’re standing in the way to morons in the middle of the doors, unless they are particularly aggressive looking.

A couple of times when driving and feeling particularly pissy I’ve made PAs saying please let others off the train before boarding as it allows for faster dispatch and is also basic manners.

I know I’m shouting into the void (minds) but it’s something.

OP, never travel from Oxford to Bicester Village by train at a time when all the Bicester village shoppers are trying to get back to London. Its notoriously difficult to get off as they try to push their way on with their haul of designer shopping bags.

I'm an ex rugby player, only 5'10" tall but weigh nearly 100kg. Every single person who has tried to push me loses.