Aibu: flying with a 3yo.

[PurBal]

Currently flying with my 3yo DC. He’s being incredibly good, he’s watched 3 movies so far and has eaten well. He’s not making a sound, not kicking the back of anyone’s seat or running up and down the aisles.

A member of crew just, very apologetically, asked me to tell him to stop playing with his seatbelt as passengers were complaining. He’s fascinated by it but I hadn’t even noticed he was playing with it. I’m not even watching a film, just cheap foam earplugs in and trying to sleep.

We’ve been travelling for over 60 hours due to flight cancellations and delays (was supposed to be a direct 9 hour flight). There have been times when both DC behaviour has been truly awful, but this isn’t one of them.

So as not to drip feed we’re flying business.

I’m keeping a close eye on him and he’s not touched his seatbelt in the last 20 minutes since it was mentioned. Can I just put it down to someone equally tired, exhausted and grumpy as me? Because I think there’s been a massive overreaction, we booked (and paid a lot of money for) business just like everyone else.

Be kind, we’re exhausted and I don’t have perspective right now. But I need to get some shut eye before we drive the 3 plus hours home once we land.

YABU: you need to better control your DC
YANBU: DC is fine and the other passenger is having a bad day

Well he must be doing something to annoy other passengers. So keep a better eye on him. You may be used to a certain amount of toddler noise but others are not.

If someone has mentioned it, it’s because it’s bothering them. The sound of a child fiddling with a seatbelt dies have the potential to be annoying tbh, and I think you have extra responsibility to ensure your child doesn’t make annoying noise when you’re in business.

I get that you’re tired, but I don’t think you get the luxury of earplugs and uninterrupted sleep when you’re flying with a small child.

That's a lot of irrelevant information there OP.

He was obviously annoying someone to the point they felt the need to complain.

They did, your child has stopped.

The end.

Sorry but you need to keep a better eye on him.

Is it the noise of the buckle being repeatedly snapped open and shut?

I think so, either that or doing it up (which is what he was fascinated by when we boarded). He’s not done it since it was mentioned.

Of course you need to keep a closer eye, you have earplugs and are trying to sleep fgs.

If turbulence hits and his seatbelt isn’t buckled, other people complaining will be the least of your worries.

Yeah. Your need to get some sleep doesn’t mean your child can clunk open and shut the seatbelt. That kind of noise would make me really on edge. Can’t believe you have ear plugs in when you are supervising a small child. YABVVVVVVU

Yeah. Your need to get some sleep doesn’t mean your child can clunk open and shut the seatbelt. That kind of noise would make me really on edge. Can’t believe you have ear plugs in when you are supervising a small child. YABVVVVVVU

Your child was being annoying, now he's stopped. Fuss over nothing. Just keep an eye on him and stop him if he starts playing with it again.

It sounds like he's being relatively good but the seatbelt noise will still be extremely annoying, and the other customers may have paid extra for business class in the hope of having a flight without those kind of disturbances.

Hi OP, I think there is quite a lack of compassion in some of the previous responses. You have been travelling for over 60 hours with two young children. Frankly the fact that you have empathy for others at all at this point is heroic. Ask your DC to leave the seatbelt alone, not so much to avoid annoying other people but because it could be a safety risk of there is sudden turbulence. I would not use ear plugs when travelling with children as you won't be responsive enough.

More importantly though, you are clearly exhausted but are planning to drive for three hours after the flight with two exhausted children. This is likely to be dangerous. Is there anyone who could collect you or could you book into a nearby hotel for a few hours sleep before you drive home?

YABU. You shouldn’t be trying to sleep, you need to be watching your three year old.

OP is not a bloody hero get a grip.

Yes, that would me mad, and DS2 tried to do that on one flight.

OP, make sure he knows not to do that.

Some people look to find fault with children in places they deem they dont belong, like upgraded sections of public transport, resturants, hotels, just existing. The seatbelt was probably just the excuse. (Can they really be that loud over engines, people moving about, headphones etc?)

The last flight i took a toddler screamed for over an hour. (Actual distress, not a tantrum, snd parents trying to calm). Was it annoying? Extremely. Was it just part of life... Yes.

YA definitely NBU.

I appreciate this. And I appreciate the less compassionate responses too, it’s good for perspective. We’re doing our best in what’s a not very nice situation. But we are better than most. I spent 90 minutes at 3am yesterday morning insisting the first airline rebook us the last remaining seats on this one so we could get home. We then had to run across an airport with 6 bags, 2 car seats and two children as check-in had already opened. Many of the other passengers had to wait over 24 hours for the next flight only for it not to depart, they’re still there now from what I understand. We are not sitting in the seats we should have been because we have been booked on 4 different planes at this point. The fact I’m able to sit next to DC at all is all thanks to the airline who spent 45 minutes moving other passengers, one very kind chap gave up his seat for us. We’ve been through security scanners (taking liquids and electronics out each time) 9 times and passport control 5 times. We’ve lost various items (silly things like sun hats) because we are exhausted. We had booked a hotel for last night after the first cancellation but then the next flight was delayed and we missed the connection so had to wait overnight. We have work tomorrow, but family nearby so maybe we have a nap with them. I have asked them to collect us from the airport. DC has fallen asleep now.

I think people with young children are totally oblivious to how annoying some of their behaviour is to other people. Not maliciously so, but when it is your norm it is hard to see past that. Babies crying on flights, suck it up there is nothing anyone can do but ignoring a 3yo on a plane while you try and sleep is pretty poor.

Don't give a fuck. We were living abroad with DH's job until recently (who was serving the British government btw) for a few years and had to fly with a baby/toddler for 13 hours. It was the only way to see family. We always flew premium or business. I found people in business were the worst. So entitled, so many growling looks the second they realized a baby was nearby.

It's a public mode of transport. If you don't like children, get a private jet.

Serving the British government 'btw' or working on the tills at Primark makes no difference.

Don't pop your earplugs in, close your eyes and then complain that someone's asked a member of cabin crew to stop your 3 year old annoying passengers.

It’s annoying, absolutely right for the cabin crew member to ask you to ask him to stop, you probably were screening it out.

You really can’t try and sleep on a plane with earplugs when your 3 year old is awake and active enough that he’s annoying other passengers with messing with his seat.

Flying with kids is hard, trust me I know as I fly regularly long haul to see family, but when they’re awake, you need to be awake and supervising them. Business class is in some ways harder as they’re not right beside you.

Am I missing something? Who’s looking after the DC if you’re sleeping?
I'm afraid you’re coming across as very entitled!