To think it’s possible to turn your life around?

[WishfulThoughtsPerhaps]

I’ve had a lot of upheaval in my life since COVID. I’ve just recovered from a long term illness, haven’t been working for many years and have no assets. My children are 13 and 10 and thanks to family support have never wanted for much, although they don’t get to go on holidays away etc.

No partner or financial support in that regard. I have good skills and experience and think I will find a good job eventually, but I’m daunted by the fact I’ll never own a home and might not be able to help my DC as much as I would like.

I’m wanting to hear from people who’ve managed to rebuild late in life (I’m almost 50). Particularly financial stability. Is it possible?

No personal experience, but I do have a friend who managed to completely rebuild financially in her late 40s. Highly competent and just made it her mission to be the best at her job she could be. Got several promotions in quick succession until she was earning a very high salary. It’s a bit of a fairy tale story and not what’s possible for everyone, but I do think there’s still room to rebuild in your 50s.

Thank you. I’m not sure I can rely on such a rapid improvement in my circumstances, but it’s good to know it can be done.

I'm a bit younger (47) but I've doubled my income in 5 years by really going for it career wise, selectively applying for promotions and not seeing rejection as a set back. You do have to be brave and put yourself out there for the right opportunities

That’s fantastic you’ve been able to do all that. I have to admit, my confidence has taken a knock and I really need to get better at the being brave and putting myself out there part.

If you’ve got your health back then lots is possible.

Good luck!

I'm nearly 50 and have tripled my salary in the last 5 years. It can be done. Have faith and believe in yourself. Go for it, you can do it. And you deserve it.

I think it gets easier when dc get a bit older. Mine were 13 and 16 when I was doing a post grad qualification. Currently not progressed my career but part of that is I like the flexibility in my current job to give my dc the support they need. In 3 years, my youngest will be 18 and I will be able to go for jobs with a night away in the week etc which opens options up to me.

You sound very resilient and just wanting to do it is a great start.
I fought my way out of depression- it was monumentally hard -but I knew I had 2 choices. Either give in to the beast or fight it.
Thank goodness I chose to fight it, and now have a job I love and more importantly my self esteem back.
I wish you lots of luck. As a pp said, don't be put off by knock backs, just keep going...

Thank you so much for taking the time to post these kind and encouraging comments.

I definitely chose to prioritise the DC as I couldn’t have recovered and worked while also being a decent parent. Now I feel like I’m starting from nothing at almost 50, and I worry about my future, retirement, etc.

But it’s very reassuring to hear from people who are managing to progress post mid-40s. You do tend to hear some very disheartening stories.

For reasons I wont go into I walked away from one profession and lifestyle to go to uni in my early 40s. I walked away from most of my former friends and lifestyle. I grew distant from my family. I even changed my name. I went right through the higher education system in 10 years and became an academic. Im retired from employed work now but still do private tutoring. My decision gave me the skills to completely change my financial position.

I think you can really build a great life from here, but it won’t necessarily look the way you might expect. For example, not owning a home doesn’t have to be a bad thing - you have the freedom to move anywhere, go travelling, live in a tiny house or whatever suits you, especially once your children are adults. You can help them in all kinds of ways that aren’t financial, and that’s great. I would focus your attention on doing whatever you can to prepare financially for your retirement.

This is very reassuring, thank you. I’m also just commencing some post grad study and wondering if it’s the right idea. It’s good to know that it is possible to start from scratch in your 40s and still build a good life for yourself.

Thank you, for this. I think you’re right and part of it will be getting my head around the fact that life might look different to what I imagined, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will be worse.

No advice OP but going through similar at now 40 (but no DC). I do worry about the future and whether change is possible. But I have managed so far to leave a very coercive LTR, and move to a city I'd always wanted to live in, which about a Yr and a half ago I thought would never happen (although, I'm currently in a shared house for women whilst I wait for a successful bid on a HA property, due to said ex's control). These stories give me hope ❤️ Oh and home ownership, whilst it has its advantages, isn't the be all and end all, but yes, that's something I also sometimes worry about, plus I also worry I'm too old to get into my dream industry now. But yes I believe you can change your life later on.