Aibu to send email before mat leave

[Dottiemay]

I’m about to go on maternity leave and have recently recruited three new starters into my team. They’re fairly young and for some it’s their first corporate job.

I’m middle management and over time more junior members of staff have come to me with concerns about a more senior manager’s behaviour. I’ve also witnessed and experienced it directly. She can be very rude and abrupt, shut people down in meetings, repeatedly question people after they’ve already answered, and generally communicate in a way that can make people feel they’re being caught out or told off rather than managed. People have become visibly anxious about dealing with her and some staff have left.

I’ve drafted a polite email to my Head of Service before I go. I’m careful not to name colleagues or claim to speak on anyone else’s behalf. I’ve just set out behaviour I’ve personally witnessed and experienced and said that, as I’m handing over three people I helped recruit and support, I want senior management to be aware of my concerns and make sure they have a positive experience.

I’m not asking for it to be treated as a grievance and don’t want a huge investigation or drama. My hesitation is that I’ll then be on maternity leave and won’t be there if there’s fallout or it gets turned into something much bigger.

AIBU to send it before I go, or should I leave it alone?

Do not send that if you want a job to go back to.

It won’t make any difference and may paint a target on your back.

They know. They always know.

That's a conversation to be had, if appropriate, not an email to be sent.

Genuine question here but why? They can't sack me during mat leave for raising concerns about staff wellbeing surely?

I would send it before you go. If you feel strongly enough to compose an email then her behaviour must be bad. Send it so that the managers can speak to you and hopefully nip this in the bud.

I say this having worked for a large company with HR policies which were documented and stuck to . The small family firm I work for now doesn't have that sort of set up and I would speak to the boss person to person if there was an issue...but again I think it would be addressed

I did similar but I made sure it was a conversation with no paper trail. I didn't want anything to rebound back on me. As soon as you send an email, you have no control of who else it gets sent to.

Why have you waited until Mat leave to raise this though?

Do not send the email. It will come back to bite you if you 'lob in a grenade' and then 'run'. Go on your maternity leave and forget work whilst you prepare for your baby's arrival.

An email as you go on leave is NOT the appropriate step.

You won’t be there, and without specifics, there’s little that can be done. You will absolutely become a target and when you are at your most vulnerable (returning from leave), this could be awful.

If you want to take any action, speak to someone, clearly and specifically. Be very clear what the issues are and what you are asking for.

Honestly, at this point, I don’t think it’s the correct time. You should have acted sooner.

💯 this.

This a million times over

You've obviously known about this for a while, as you say that it's developed over time. So you could have raised this before. You can't just drop the bomb in an email and then disappear for a year. It's unfair on everyone involved. It comes across as you're either being cowardly or malicious.

I think the issue that others have identified, is that you are highlighting a serious concern but you won’t be there to navigate their response or have a voice in it. It’s like throwing a bomb at something and then standing back, you also won’t be there to support your recruits effectively in the fallout (if there is any).
Bullying is never acceptable and hopefully others will raise it, if it’s not resolved you can do that on your return. They can’t fire you, but they might wonder why you have waited to raise a problem until you go on leave and can’t be actively involved.

There are good reasons not to send this email. You're damaging a colleague's reputation without giving them a chance to respond, since you'll have left the scene. You could argue they won't hear about the email, but that won't be your call.

If you aren't raising a formal complaint or talking to the person directly, throwing the problem at a middle man informally can mean just informally spreading poison.

I'm sure you mean well. A good use of your energy would be to equip your new starters with information on company ethos and policies, and potentially to match them up with mentors or other support.

Hope the maternity leave goes well.

This is great advice, especially with regards to informing your direct reports around company policy

As a senior manager (actually a Head of Service as it happens) this would really piss me off and make me seriously question your judgement. I would wonder why you had waited until you were heading off on leave to raise it and why you were taking this ‘dump and run’ approach. As pp said you should have a conversation. Also, babies sometimes turn up early so you may not even get to send this email you’re sitting on.

Agree.
Definitely a conversation not an email.

Include in your handover if you feel that strongly.

Putting it in a handover is a worse idea than an email, not a better one.

You could send a general advice email to your reports, tell them that you feel responsible for them and as you won't be there for them to come to here are policies and here are who to speak to for various issues. Don't just give advice wbout what this manager does, include sickness, annual leave, workload concerns etc. they're grownups and they need to know how to deal with work problems for themselves, I'm sure they'll be ok.
You could give them your personal email address in case of emergency needs of advice and book a kit day if they need you but you will probably get emails about all sorts of work stuff you don't want to think about.

Thanks for this. I do genuinely mean well and my thoughts were out of concern and care for the people I've recruited into the team, not malice but do appreciate this is what it might look like from the outside if i'd sent it. Suppose the difference between intent and impact