Husband going away vs me going away.

[WhereTheFuckAreMyWingsRoy]

Husband and I both work similar hours.
2 children still living at home, one in 20s, one 16. 2 dogs.

Husband has run through some dates with me when he wants to go away.
My response? “Yes that’s fine” (I suppose if those dates weren’t clear I would say no, not going to work).

I run through some dates with him.
His response?
”What about the dogs?”
”What about shopping?”
”What about Ds after school?” (The same Ds who lets himself in every day and occupies himself until we get home at around the same time?)
”I don’t want to have to take time off work so you can go away”
And so on and so on.

He’s an anxious sort, but honestly it takes the joy out of planning anything.

AIBU?

My husband can be like this , he over complicates things . He says he wants a holiday , then i get , what about his elderly mother , she was widowed 2 years ago , she has lots of younger friends and clubs that she still goes too. What about our elderly dog , she's not in the best of health . I could go on, but the biggest problem is , he always wants a bargain holiday , then complains about everything . So this year , i booked a villa im spain over easter, i went with my daughter and 2 teenage granddaughter's . We had a great time , with no-one complaining !

He’s anxious about family but not going away on his own 👀
he’s taking the poss and you are allowing it by not shutting him down

I think a tinkly laugh and a friendly kick to the groin are the only responses you need OP.

Ask him why he’s not embarrassed to admit being so fucking incompetent he has to ask those questions.

Shopping ffs?! It’s 2026. Hasn’t he bought groceries before?

I would find this so completely unattractive I’d be considering my options.

This.

Do I ask you about all these when you go away? Do you think about how I will cope with all these when you go away? We are both adults. I cope. You cope.

My response to his pathetic questions would be “the same as what happens when you go away, the responsible adult at home deals with it.”
Honestly what an embarrassing wet blanket.

I do shut him down every time, point out exactly what I’ve written in post.

He’s not inept, definitely not a manchild normally, does his fair share, but there are certain things like this where he persists in being a dick.

It’s never stopped me from doing anything, but it gets me down because in nearly 30 years together and 30 years of me pointing out he is an adult, he still does it.

Why is anyone worrying about a 16 year old after school???

Ick

Indeed.

I know! Every other day we don’t worry about him!

Exactly this.

He’s an adult. He’s can figure it out

An anxious sort? Sounds like a lazy sort.

What does he think happens when he goes away?!

@WhereTheFuckAreMyWingsRoy

So write down, or better yet memorize, those questions and the next time you and he start to work out your dates to go away furrow your brow and ask him what he asks you. Sauce>goose>gander.

He doesn't sound anxious. Lazy and selfish.

In your situation I would just say "lol" and leave the conversation.

Doesn’t he ever do the shopping or look after the dogs when you’re at home? If not, sounds like it’s high time he started. (Unless they're ‘your’ dogs not family dogs, and the deal was always that you’d look after them - but I assume not because if that was the case you’d make arrangements for them).

Yes he does, and competently too, which makes this more irritating, because it feels like he’s just being obstructive to me doing my own thing, even though he gets to do his own thing too.

Love this ! Boom!

Too kind.

Your response:

oh do fuck off!

So his whataboutery is all bollocks, and it’s just that he doesn’t like you going away without him and/or him being home without you?