AIBU to take a risk and change my life after illness?

[Justaroundthecorner3]

Hi!

bit of a random post just wondered if anyone had any advice or tips!

I was recently very seriously unwell and almost died (well I suppose technically I did die for a bit as I was given CPR and my heart wasn’t beating) but anyway I’m doing better now thankfully ☺️

the experience has changed me though. I used to be such a worrier about anything and everything and now I’m just not. I just think to myself, fuck it, life is short.

I previously had loads of ambitions but was too scared to do it. I wanted to move country to a specific city I love with my dog and start a new life and have fun, meet new people there, meet a guy there, start a family there and just generally build a life there. But I was always too scared to leave my parents. But it’s only an hour away on a flight and really not far at all. It’s just the thought of starting and not knowing anyone, having to start from scratch, being alone at first when I don’t know anyone - BUT in my heart I’ve always wanted to move to this specific place, and if it fails I could always come home

ive also ALWAYS wanted to have my own business. I work in a field where you can have your own place and be a director/partner/owner of it or you can just do the job itself which is fine too (trying to keep it anonymous haha but think along the lines of being a dentist vs being a dental practice owner, or being a lawyer vs being a law partner) that sort of thing haha. But it would involve a big hefty bank loan to buy into a practice and it’s just a lot of risk in general and it just always seemed SO scary so I was too worried to do it. There’s opportunities to do it in the city I want to move to and I know people who have done it and been successful, and it would be good to do more of the business side of things rather than just the job itself and to be able to work from home and come back and visit family and stuff since I’ll have more flexibility…. But it just feels so scary for some reason!

i know nobody can advise on my specific situation, i guess i was just wondering has anyone else had similar and thought fuck it, taken the risk and it all worked out??

honestly feel like a different person since being unwell and just want to make the most of my life now because Im so grateful to have survived, as cheesy as that sounds! I’m late 20s and just don’t want to look back when I’m older and regret not taking more risks and chances

TIA!

I think, yes you maybe could take more risks. I am quite risk averse so I’d maybe move to the new city with a job, then look into my own business. Maybe a bit more measured but why not, give it go? You are young so not like you have lots to lose-you can change career, anything.

What you describing is the classic "limiting believes" situation. Everybody is scared of change and most people start with "what if it doesn't work out". Very few people think "what fi it does". I've changed my life many times over and every time it's been for the best. Moved countries when I was 21, left long-term career to go to uni when i was 32, opened my business at 37, bough a house by the sea in a town I've never even been to at 42. Every change was scary but I am happy I made it.
We spend years locked in out heads thinking that by worrying we can have some sense of control. But we don't. Life will do what it does and you have no control over anything. Knowing that is hugely liberating.

This sounds like something that you've had in mind for a while OP, now seems to be the right time to go for it. Although it may feel overwhelming each step along the way will build confidence so, I'd say reserch as much as possible but don't overthink the small stuff or spend money on things that you can factor in later!
Fingers crossed for you in your new life x.

Go for it!

Go for it. Do the things. Stuff almost always works out one way or the other.

I spent a couple of weeks in hospital contemplating my future after I 'should' have died in my early 20s. I felt exactly like you do; I'd always wanted to move country but had never been brave enough to do it, and that was to kick I needed to do something about it. A few months later I was starting a job on the other side of the world, and I've never regretted it for a moment.

As long as you have a plan of how to earn a living - and that you're legally allowed to live in the country you want to move to - then do it!

Do it.

Just make sure you do your research and plan to make moving and trying new things smoother.

I have lived in three different countries and I am so glad I did that when I was young and achieved my dream to live in big cities (I lived in a village as a child/teen and always wanted to see the world and have some adventures).

I also want back to university in my late 30s.

Then I had a series of health issues when I was in my mid- 40s, with several surgeries and I had a life threatening episode about 3 years ago. This made me decide to again go for a life change and I sold my flat. left London behind to move to a small seaside town and I am very happy here. I changed my diet, do regular exercise, finally have my own garden and access to the sea and green spaces and that suits me better as a middle aged woman. I also left my toxic London job and toxic/fake friends behind for less stress (as this was making my ill health worse).

My point is life is indeed short and you have to find ways to find happiness and not be limited by fear of change or what people tell you you should be doing.

My life has never been a linear path or followed conventional wisdom. It is not always easy but I have no regrets.

Oh just do it. Or you’ll forever kick yourself for not even trying. At least if it fails you gave it a go and can try something else

I’ve always been nervous of change but never had that massive drive to do it differently. You sound very driven OP and you’ve thought about it a lot. Absolutely do it, grab it by both hands, try, what’s the worst that could happen? It doesn’t work out, you’ve had an adventure, you have to do something more mundane to get back on your feet. Just go for it.

Do you wish to live to be 80+ & regret not doing something (old age not guaranteed)

I travelled in my 20s and then returned home aged about 26. After a bad break up I decided ‘stuff it’ and moved to somewhere abroad you could work with a visa. I met my future husband there, we stayed for a couple of years or so and then returned here and started a family. My now 20 something daughters are travelling and living in Sydney together! They caught the bug I guess! We have 2 more who I fully expect will travel when the time comes. I am sure I am at total peace with my bit more boring life now (!) because I spent years living away and seizing opportunities. My husband is the same and we’ve ended up in a total random location by the sea that neither of us really knew existed. I feel we probably have one more big move at some point, maybe we’ll semi retire to a little French village so we can come home to a smaller house here to be with whichever child ends up here too! As the cliche goes ‘you only regret the things you don’t do in life’.

Sounds a great time to do it. If you aren’t married, haven’t got kids or financial ties holding you down here - there is zero reason not too.

Imagine the worst case scenario….

You go. Dislike it. You simply return home.

You go. Like it. Struggle job wise but enough to keep afloat whilst you settle is the most likely outcome. Few years down the line you’ll be pleased you went.

Life is too short. The worst case scenario here isn’t a bad one - it’s your current life.

You said it yourself, fuck it, life’s short. Do it all.

Do now while family safety net still operational