AIBU for being in a relationship at the moment?

[Amianarse]

NC but might keep it tbh.

Bit if backstory, I know I am hyper-independent always have been, childhood stuff, had a baby in my teens (my only now 16), worked my arse off, degree etc now in a very good job.

anyway, met a guy 4 yrs ok lovely, very homely, own business but not much ambition with it so earns ok money ticks along, likes to stay home watch tv etc. we now live together and he is grating on me.

he wants to do things with me all the time, lay on the sofa and watch a film, go back to bed and have a nap? Just be around me all the time, he arranges his work around my work, and recently I have taken on more work as I am saving for DD’s driving and uni and he is moping and moaning all the time about how I am always at work. And tbh, I don’t care, I feel suffocated by him. He goes on about sex etc which is ok to a point but then gets the hump if I don’t reciprocate. Have tried to explain I am at work, not horny, you are laying on the bed after a shower and ANOTHER early finish at work so might be horny.

He see’s it as a rejection.

We do have nice times, go away together etc but tbh i don’t have much more time for more than that. My focus is work, making money and spending time with DD at the moment (about to embark on a PhD hopefully).

I am also aware that in a few years DD will go to uni and I will have more time for a relationship.

He is a nice guy, but just pissed off with his neediness tbh but then I also think he has every right to want a ‘proper’ relationship.

what should I do?

Yeah there are a lot of ‘rules to things’ like a ‘day off together’ doesn’t count if we have to run errands as he see’s a day off as lounging about all day so even if I do make time to spend with him. I already know it won’t be ‘proper time’ unless we are doing fuck all, and tbh often I don’t have time to lay around in my undies doing fuck all, even on my day off!

It's crap isn't it. My longest relationship died a death after moving in together, slowly but surely. I won't do it again!

I am also bored to tears of hearing him moan about not having as much money as he would like, then watching him turn away work because ‘I’m not stressing myself out with working all the time’ - ok be poor then

im being mean, he isn’t poor, he does well, but only enough…enough to pay his bills, little bit of spending, that’s it. No drive, no ambition, a bit of a woolly work ethic tbh

Move him back out.

he is very needy / clingy.

God, yes, that does sound a lot! It is a positive that you still do things together that you both like, but having all your time mapped out is too much. I’ve not yet read any other replies you might’ve made as I’ve o my just seen the notification for this one, but have you had any thoughts on how you’re going to do this moving forward?

If you want this relationship to succeed, he should probably move back out.

If you don’t care if it succeeds or not, he should definitely move out.

It isn’t you. It’s him.