Managing a primary aged child's weight

[Hei3htfi]

Ds has always been an ok weight. He was born 91th percentile for height and 75th for weight and it always carried on this way. Now he is 8 and this past school year, he has put on more weight. Initially I thought it was just growth spurt but it doesn't seem so. He has also noticed it. His dad and I are both skinny and so is everyone in the family. We have never restricted his eating and he mostly just has a small breakfast plus lunch and dinner. Hates sweet stuff and we don't snack as a family. I get that it isn't good and I would like to nip it in the bud but how? Obviously don't want to say anything to him as it would make him feel bad. Any tips on what worked? How do ithers manage their kids weight. We always just went by him eating what he wants and it worked. Until now.

It sounds like he’s in proportion though? 91st for height and his weight has caught up to it. It sounds like he eats healthily, is relatively active, etc. I would be questioning where his narrative of being ‘fat’ has come from, as I doubt he looks fat when he’s tall and that weight. That would concern me more than his actual weight. Has this ‘everyone in our family is skinny’ thing had some effect on him somehow? ‘Skinny’ isn’t necessarily desirable either!

Is 136cm correct? He's 10cm taller than my (not particularly short) 8yo?

Not being conventionally overweight means he’s not overweight. That being said, it’s obviously sensible to look at the trajectory. Unfortunately, based on this thread, you sound neurotic about fatness and that slightly undermines your concerns.

Can you add more walking. So evening walk or weekend. Walk places not go in car.
Look at adding bulk to meals but not calories so adding lots of veg.
What does he drink could that be empty cals.
If he’s within a healthy bmi I’d just keep eye on it.

Replace big portions of white carbs etc with fresh steamed vegetables - broccoli, kale, mange tout, cauliflower, lentils, swede, squash, carrots, peas.loads of salad - peppers, cucumber, celery, beetroot, tomatoes.

Cut out any processed food & add more exercise where he really has to work & get his heart rate up a bit.

Swimming doesnt actually burn off as many calories as other sports. Get him running around for at least an hour - football, basketball, rugby, hockey.

32kg at 136cm tall is quite big.my DS is 9 and tall for age - 146cm, but weighs 30kg.

. Do people just say no that's enough? You can't have any more at meal times?

Of course. I offer a healthy age appropriate portion of carb/meat/fish, and essentially unlimited veg. If my DS is hungry i offer more vegetables. I also tell him to est slower & let his brain catch up & recognise what hes eaten

The OP doesn’t need anecdotal stories from people about how big or small their kids are in order to asses if her child is overweight, because she has population data.

DD is 7 and heavier than your ds. Though she is also taller. Like your son she also swims a lot with the swimming club. Yes she is notably chunkier than some of the other children but it is all muscle. She has been seen my paediatricians for unrelated issues and every one has commented on how healthy she is. My point being they don’t need to look like a rake

I wouldn’t even say 136cm is that tall. My 7 year old DD is 148cm and whilst she is the tallest in her class there are several girls 5cm
or so shorter

This was me a few years ago. Myself, dh and 3 children are very slim. 4th dc, a son was born huge (10lb 1oz) and gained huge amounts of weight despite being exclusively breastfed for 6 months and baby led weaning after that.

He looked like a little buddha and by the time he was 9-13 years old, he really was getting quite chunky.

He was a very chilled child, didn't like sports so we had to really encourage him. The rest of us are all active so he was dragged along to stuff.

Dh and I were getting concerned so did start to think about cutting his carbs. However, puberty kicked in and he VERY quickly grew. He is now 14, tall, muscular and all that weight completely vanished.

I havent got any advice, you know your child and the steps you need to take. I just wanted to share our experience.

I'm not sure you need to be to concerned. My boy often gets chubby and then grows up. It's honestly like the weight goes on and then someone stretches him and he goes lean and taller.

While I don’t doubt you, 148cm for a girl at 7 is so off the charts it’s incredible. 99.6th centile is 135cm. 148cm is 99th centile for a 9yo. So you have an incredibly unusual school year to have multiple at even 142! DD1 is 7 and is one of the tallest in her class at 130!

Edited as DD1 is only 130cm.

If yes noticeably "fat" then it's not just a bit if weight he gained. Either he's always been bigger than you think or he's piling on weight, so he's eating a lot more than you think.

Make sure he’s getting plenty of protein and veg, not just carbs. Otherwise, don’t do anything. Messing around with restricted diets for growing children is a terrible idea. Get as much family exercise in fun ways as you can. Tell him he looks perfectly fine and make sure his clothes fit right. In no way let him continue thinking he is fat. It will not help.

136cm for an 8yo boy is 90-95th centile so he is definitely on the taller side.

My 7 year old is 138 cm

What do you even mean by ‘conventionally overweight’. Thats just not a thing. Your child is doing 6 sessions of sport a week, doesn’t appear to be eating badly and you’re obsessing because he’s not ‘skinny as a rake’. Kids are not all ‘meant’ to be skinny as a rake, kids come in a variety of shapes and sizes that are healthy. I have a son who has always been very skinny. 2 that are stockier and shorter, and 2 daughters one is tiny and thin the other is 6 inches taller and curvy. all are healthy weights, tho my oldest son has fallen off the chart a few times due to ARFID, but he’s pretty stable these days.
stop obsessing.

Going by BMI he is a healthy weight and going by what you are saying he eats a perfect diet with no sweets or treats, and no unnecessary snacks. I don't see that you need to change anything.

Kids are not meant to be as skinny as a rake, ffs. Seventy years ago they were because of rationing and the war! Fifty years ago, it was beginning to be healthier, with children having a much more rounded shape. I am not trying to justify modern childhood obesity, but ‘not skinny’ is not the same as ‘overweight’ or ‘fat’. You really need to get your own head sorted out on this before you push your DS into unhealthy eating and body image problems.

@Hei3htfi

You've said he has consistently stayed around the 75th–90th percentiles his whole life, so his current build is healthy and genetically predetermined, don't worry. He is still growing!

Currently your son is on the 91st percentile for height and 85th for his weight. Concern arises when a child's weight percentile is significantly higher than their height percentile which his is not.

A more accurate tool, to address your concerns, would be to use the Waist-to-Height Ratio (WHtR)

The Rule: Keep the child's waist circumference to less than half of their height.

The Target: For a height of 136 cm, his waist circumference should be under 68 cm.

Clinical studies show WHtR is an inexpensive, highly accurate tool for measuring centralized fat tissue rather than muscle mass, and it correlates directly with metabolic health.

If, in the future you'd like to approach his diet with portion control then fill half of his plate with non-starchy vegetables or fruits, one-quarter with lean protein (chicken, beans, fish), and one-quarter with whole grains. If he is still hungry, give seconds of the veggies or whichever protein you're having.

As someone also said upthread, you could downsize your dinner plates

This naturally reduces caloric density while maintaining high volume and fibre to keep him full.

; for sp.

Let me check this with you. Your 8 year old child is an absolutely normal weight for his height, significantly below his height percentile, eats well and does exercise multiple times a week. You happily describe yourself and his father as skinny as rakes and believe that he should also look like you, despite saying that neither of you ate enough as children.

He has internalised this so much that at eight years old, he is upset that he is 'fat' and you are agreeing with him to the extent that you want to put this perfectly healthy, active child on a diet so that he looks more like you.

Once he goes back to school you could ask for advice from the school nurse? There will be one allocated to your school, even if you don't know them.

But as others have said, he doesn't calculate as overweight and I'd be reluctant to reduce his calories hugely. He is a couple of cm shorter than my 9 year old and a similar weight- and no one would describe my son as fat.

You have mentioned that you and your OH are slim, and you talk about kids being skinny. I wonder if he is just a bigger build than you and it's hard for you to see that? You know you are feeding him healthily and he sounds active. And I say this as someone who finds it really distressing to see kids who are fat/ unable to do a reasonable amount of physical exercise (without a medical reason).

More protein, loads more veg, wholemeal bread, wholegrain rice, reduce refined carbs. Some kids also have an insatiable appetite for fruit, which is all right in one way for vitamins & minerals, but also really high in sugar.