I have been unreasonable and I apologize.

[momtoboys]

I have been unreasonable to some posters on Mumsnet and I apologize.

I am older than most Mumsnetters. A lot older than some, so I have the luxury of having many lived experiences. Fairly often when someone posts about being cheated on or treated poorly by their partner, I am in the LTB crowd. However, today I was driving to work and a song came on that instantly transported me back to a a long time ago in my life when I was deeply involved in a relationship that was not good for me. I was probably the age of many of the women that post those issues here. I should have left it long before I did. But I remembered listening to this song back then and crying and thinking "I can't ever leave him. I love him too much. It hurts too much to even consider it."

I should have been kinder to the women (mostly) that are struggling with the pain of being hurt and not knowing what step is next. I am truly sorry. However, I know from years of experience that no one deserves that treatment and there are people in the world that will love you and cherish you and not even think of hurting you, so don't give up hope.

I'm not as wise as you but I left an abusive relationship and it felt like my heart was being torn out. Now I look back and think what on earth was I doing with that idiot?! But at the time I loved him.
It's hard to be in that position but it's also hard to see other women suffer abuse. Ultimately I knew back then I had to leave but I think if someone had told me to LTB I would have felt it wad the push I needed to leave. That's partly why I am in the LTB crowd.

lol. I don’t know that I am wise. Just old! 🤣

I don't know about you momtoboys, but when I was in an abusive relationship the internet wasn't around. I think it can be a force for good. When some poor soul posts about what's happening to them they might still not be able to see clearly that it's bona fide abuse. Ie, it must be me, I'm doing some thing wrong? Also, they might have been cut off from their friends/family and coming online is their only option for 'talking' to people.
I agree that it's sometimes easy to say LTB, but not always practicle irl. Money, schools, jobs, housing, personal safety, confussing feelings.
Sorry if I've been a bit muddled! I would have loved the help of people on the internet to help me at the time of my abusive relationship. Even if it was just to start that nugget in my mind of leave the bitch (lesbian relationship.) to hear you do have the strengh, you can do it. So don't be too hard on yourself, your advice came from a good place right? You've just had a change of perseptive. You never know, even starting this thread might help someone out with their relationship dilema!