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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to report co-worker?

7 replies

OverreactingOrN0t · 20/08/2026 10:49

Hiya,

Theres this man in my office (Derek). Anyway I have had some issues with Derek for a little while. He doesnt respond well to people questioning his work and will try to interfere with other people work.

My boss is on leave for a few weeks and asked me to cover her role.
She said Derek had asked to leave early Friday afternoon however she could not promise it and it would depend on what the day looked like. (This would be for free, ie not using any annual leave which he was happy with this arrangement)

Derek asked to leave and I said he could but just an hour later than what he hoped as we had been absolutely swamped.
Derek flew off the handle and started swearing at me and slammed his fist on the desk.

I remained firm and said he can leave just a little later than what he was hoping for and he kept carrying on while I was checking my emails.

I have reported him to my boss and to HR. My boss has a soft spot for him for some reason so Im worried it won't be handled correctly. In my email to HR I stated that I did not feel comfortable working directly with Derek anymore and that I had 2 witnesses to the event.

Any ideas if my boss tries to minimise what happened? I felt quite intimidated

OP posts:
throwawayimplantchat · 20/08/2026 10:51

Everywhere I’ve worked, swearing at an coworker and using physical violence to intimidate them, would be a sackable offence. Are you in a union to help you if needed?

OverreactingOrN0t · 20/08/2026 10:53

throwawayimplantchat · 20/08/2026 10:51

Everywhere I’ve worked, swearing at an coworker and using physical violence to intimidate them, would be a sackable offence. Are you in a union to help you if needed?

@throwawayimplantchat no unfortunately there is no union where i work. I explained the situation to my manager and she said she would get in touch with hr but im slightly worried about what my actual boss will think

OP posts:
Angelyogini · 20/08/2026 10:54

You can report the incident yourself to HR and they should treat it seriously, as a gross misconduct for violence and intimidation.

BluebellsAndBorage · 20/08/2026 10:56

She might think that she has never had this sort of encounter yet she leaves you in charge for a couple of weeks and you do.

Not saying that that is right but you asked for what she might think and, right or wrong, she might think that,

OverreactingOrN0t · 20/08/2026 10:58

@BluebellsAndBorage thats why Im glad ive got witnesses!
She has witnessed argumentative behaviour from him

OP posts:
MJEBinAthens · 20/08/2026 11:00

You should initiate a disciplinary procedure against him. He’s certainly trying it on as you are in charge temporarily. Watch the wording so that you don’t drop your boss in it! That would be awkward!

Pearlstillsinging · 20/08/2026 11:08

OverreactingOrN0t · 20/08/2026 10:53

@throwawayimplantchat no unfortunately there is no union where i work. I explained the situation to my manager and she said she would get in touch with hr but im slightly worried about what my actual boss will think

You can join an appropriate union, whose local officers would represent you, if necessary, even if none of your colleagues are union members and even if your employer says that they don't recognise the union. That just means that the employer won't negotiate pay with the union, you are legally entitled to union representation in a dispute/disciplinary action.
OP, you need to follow up your complaint to HR, let them deal with it, rather than your LM.

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