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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to find this housing situation concerning?

1 reply

sheepandbear · 20/08/2026 08:08

For context, not UK but country with very comparable laws, culture and politics.

My partner’s house next door is a private rental. A lovely family moved in two years ago. Parents, 4 children. Only the 15 year old daughter can really speak the language well enough to communicate and she is a lovely, polite girl. My partner has helped her navigate a lot of paperwork for securing their residency permits, enrolling the youngest children at school and nursery etc. The dad works 3 jobs and is rarely home. The house is a very small 2 bed terrace with a small garden.
Since early this year, various male “cousins” have been coming to stay. There are now 4 young men living there in addition to the family of 6. My partner is going mad because of the noise. They tend to stay out in the garden talking loudly until the early hours. When he asks them to be quiet, they generally comply but start again the next day.
However that aside, he feels like how they live is their business and also suspects the family are subletting beds in order to be able to pay the rent.
My concern is for the teenage girl who is now living with 4 young men as well as her two younger brothers. I can’t imagine how she can have any kind of privacy. Presumably she shares with her two younger brothers, the men have the other room and the parents and toddler downstairs but I’m only guessing. They have one small bathroom.
Is this level of overcrowding a safeguarding concern?
IABU -no
IANBU -yes

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/08/2026 08:34

If dad is working 3 jobs, are they likely to be struggling to pay the rent? They might be choosing to support extended family, or making a lot of money they are saving for a later plan- buying a business or moving elsewhere.

As for safeguarding, most importantly keep up the relationship with the daughter and give her the opportunity come to you for help. Ask how long the men are staying.

It’s not UK so it’s hard to know. It is over occupation by SS standards here, but whether they would do anything about it is hard to say.

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