I’ll try and keep a very long and complicated story as brief as possible. My husband and I have been together for 10 years, happily married with 1 child. I come from a small family that all get along. His family on the other hand always have some sort of drama going on.
His siblings despite all being in their late 30s fall out consistently and go periods of time without talking over the silliest of things. My husband generally stays out of it but does occasionally have arguments with them too as it just seems to be their family dynamic.
I find it so draining! I don’t have a huge amount of contact with them but sometimes, even when I haven’t seen them for a while, I’ll come to a family event and they won’t be talking to me and I’ve absolutely no idea why. My husband had a disagreement with one of his siblings recently and I seen them out and about with the kids during the school holidays and was completely ignored while with my daughter even tho the argument didn’t involve me. It was confusing for her that her family just walked past us. My MIL is also very hot and cold and if any arguments have happened, also stops talking to me or is very blunt with me dispute me not being involved in the arguments whatsoever.
I find it all so childish and draining. I never know where I stand with them or for what random reason they are passive aggressive with us next. It makes me dread things like Christmas which I used to love. I don’t want to make things awkward for my husband but AIBU to want to step back and stop going to family events etc where I’m often ignored because they are annoyed about something that’s nothing to do with me?
It’s got to the point where I end up feeling bad about myself, I constantly question what I could have possible done or said wrong even though I know there’s nothing. My husband knows they are difficult but understandably doesn’t want to cut them off completely.