AIBU to refuse a rental my partner prefers for the commute?

[ThePoisedOpalBird]

Looking for some perspective. Sorry for the long post. Me and my partner are looking for a rental as I am walking away from the house I jointly own with my ex (long story).

We have a very small budget compared to the cost of where we are looking to move to. We went to look at a property today which reduces my partners commute from 45-1hr down to 10 minutes! So naturally he is very keen to go for it.

The property is on a kind of country estate type place and it has a huge unsecured garden shared between 2 properties (probably an acre or so) the house itself is small but bigger than lots of other 2 beds we have seen as it has a living and dining room plus upstairs and downstairs bathrooms. But it still felt small (galley kitchen!) and it was a bit grimy although estate agent thinks the landlord will replace carpets.

We have a 2.5 yr old and a 6 month old and I am just concerned about moving to a house I don't feel 100% about especially with an unsecured garden.

But my partner wants us to apply for it as obviously the short commute is ideal and thw primary school is great and he argues we aren't going to find somewhere bigger with out small budget (and the need for parking due to an electric car)

He is the main earner as I only work 2 days a week on min wage so I feel like my opinion isn't as important but I am worried about moving to a house I don't like.

So am I being unreasonable to refuse to apply for it or as the main earner and the one commuting 5-6 days a week should he get more say?

On a tight budget, you're not going to get an ideal house, and that difference in commuting is pretty significant, I'd go for it.

Ask about new carpets and also ask can you put up a temporary fence around a small section? I can see why he wants it! Will he be home 50 minutes earlier to bring the children outside for an hour and supervise....or will he be off with his hobbies?

You need to both be happy, but are there any other contenders? Could you put a fence up in the garden to secure it? Or is just a big field away from the road? You say the house feels grubby, can you clean it?

How soon before you get money from your joint house to secure a deposit elsewhere?

🤣 neither of us have hobbies although I would happily support him if he used the extra time to go to the gym.

It is a huge reduction in commute so I do understand why hes keen. It also puts us 10 mins from the city centre!

Honestly not really many other contenders as our budget only allows for a 2 bed and they are all so small! The garden isnt near any road the entire sight is several acres with a few cottages dotted around it! But my 2 year old is a bit crazy so yes may be worth asking if we can section a bit off for him.

I'm not getting any money from my joint house. It is complicated but I am walking away from it completely.

It sounds lovely-perhaps you could give it a try.

Unless there are options then as the main payee and the one who's going to be inconvenienced more then yes he does have the casting vote. But if his commute is shorter you need to impress that he can help out more. Another positive is he should be less tired and in a better mood of a night.

It sounds great to me. A huge garden will be lovely for the children. Even if it’s unsecured you would be out with them anyway, at least for a few years. And if the local primary school is great that’s another bonus.

And with two bathrooms and two separate reception rooms it sounds a lot bigger than many two bedroom houses, even if the kitchen is small.

I’d definitely say go for it. It may be “a bit grimy” that’s easily fixed.

When we were small, we lived in a house with quite an open garden adjoining a main road. My parents fenced off an area nearer the house so that we could play safely.

If you are renting go for it, if you really hate it you can take the time to look for something else