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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you have community? What does it look like?

2 replies

Houseofdrums · 16/08/2026 10:23

I’ve had some conversations this week with different friends I’ve caught up with more times than usual about how grateful we are for each others company and understanding, as we are in busy cities with busy lifestyles and don’t often get to catch up but we are there for each other (somehow). They’ve noticed that it’s so much harder to find reliable people these days. So I’m finding these friendships have been stronger. Everyone is looking out for number one but it’s become extreme.

On the other end, I’ve had conversations with people saying that they wish they had community, they wish they knew their neighbours or had a group of reliable people, not just friends they feel performative around.

This thought was triggered by comments on a post on AI which highlighted how lonely we now feel. How important it is to go and find real people.

AIBU for thinking people want connection but don’t want to feel the discomfort of what it means to be part of a community (as in you will get difficult characters, you will have to give not just receive, it’s a long game, and maintaining people in your life does sometimes feel like a hard job).

OP posts:
BigYellowBus · 16/08/2026 14:56

I have friends but I also have a community centred around an organisation - in my case a sports club but for others it's probably a church or temple or choir or hobby. I think that's probably more common that knowing your neighbours well but,whatever your community, you have to put the work in to make friends by volunteering or general friendliness. You can't just rock up to a bowls club or whatever and assume you'll be invited to BBQs at once

Octavia64 · 16/08/2026 14:58

Yes

i moved to a completely new town in 2023, abd have built it since then. Went to everything at first, then narrowed down to stuff I liked and people I liked. Now I have a lot of acquaintances and some real friends

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