To wonder if my kids dislike me

[thenwhat]

I do worry about this; they don’t respect me, the only way they’ll comply is if I properly lose it with them. I was thinking I often feel I don’t like them much and they probably feel the same.

(Please don’t suggest books.)

How old are they?

6 and 4

Do you want a vent or advice? Is it worse in the holidays or always this way?

You are an adult and their parent. They are very small children who take their behavioural cues from you. You’re obviously struggling and don’t like your kids very much right now - it happens; liking them every single second isn’t mandatory (but loving them is) - but to project that onto them and imagine they feel the same is just ridiculous.

If you don’t want to read parenting books, then look for guidance on YouTube or similar, or seek out websites that can help you manage their behaviour. Sorry you’re having a hard time, but losing your shit with them will very quickly become an ineffective strategy, and by the time they’re 11 or 12 you’ll have lost control completely, which won’t end well for you or them.

It seems like you're asking about two different things - your title mentions liking but your post talks about compliance and respect.

In terms of liking - are you fun? Playful? Affectionate?

In terms of respect, it's something they have to learn over time, in my view. Don't accept disrespect - not in a losing your shit way, but in a calm way ("no thank you, I won't listen to rudeness, try again please" etc).

I know it's not easy though! Don't worry, summer hols nearly over 😂