AIBU to think DS has too much on before GCSEs?

[LionsManeforthebrain]

DS thinks he can handle all of the following after school and at weekend plus mocks in October (partial), Jan (full) and GCSEs next spring:

2 x team sports - both train once in week, one trains on Sat lunchtime, one has matches on Sunday
gym - couple of times a week
musical instrument lesson x 1 a week
girlfriend
friends - social bunch, go out often

so the above plus revision and building the skill of revising and preparing across 8 subjects.

I feel it’s too much, he says he will be fine. Refuses to hear from me. He’s bright but he needs time. Apart from anything else, it will be a tiring year.

sounds fine to me. Plenty of kids do high level sports as well as exercising and socialising. Mine will be when he’s in year 11 next year

He will moderate the social life, girlfriend and gym if needs to.

And even the team sports and music kesson if necessary.

Sounds like a great balance to be honest

Sounds ok to me. I think retaining balance is important. Most content is finishing being taught feb-march and then its drilling drilling drilling in school time. If the feb mocks show it isnt working doing so much out of school there is time to adjust. Discuss dropping things from easter to really focus for a few weeks at the crunch point when the urgency feels relateable to them. They have to choose it for themselves. Academics is important, but we know enough about young peoples mental health now to know that having fun, good relationships and feeling confidence and pride from non academics contributes to a well rounded happy person. As long as they look like they will get what they need for their next steps then id try not to apply to much pressure.

He will get his homework and as long as he does that what else are you expecting? Revision starts near to the exams and I assume at that point he'll spend less time with his friends and girlfriend as they will be revising too.

I think it will be ok OP , it’s great that he has so much on. So many teens spend their lives glued to screens so it’s really positive that he’s out and about and has so many interests ☺️

So...let him be tired? If it's too much he'll realise and can cut back then.

Are his friends and girlfriend also doing their GCSE's?

Sounds fine to me.

Sounds about normal. Mine just sat his gcses and does the following:
•plays for two hockey teams
*trains for hockey 3 times per week
*coaches hockey on sunday morning
*after school clubs each night for extra revision, further maths gcse and chess club
*socialising with friends, mostly bike riding, gaming and hanging at each others houses.
We have a gym at home, holiday regularly and visit family, he has down time and managed his time well. No girlfriend. He is predicted mostly 9s and two 8s, did 11 gcses. Sounds like a lot, but its perfectly managable. We put no pressure on him and he enjoys what he does. I think keep an eye out for any pressure and adjust accordingly.

If it’s too much for him he’ll drop it down.

most year 11s do less socialising etc in the spring/summer term.

Yes he can do all of that. Everyone has friends and the gym and many have a relationship while doing GCSEs. Sports are good for the break, for sleep, exercise, release, fun. So a few days a week going that is great as is the gym.

The only unusual thing is the instrument. And if it’s a lesson once a week it’s hardly a huge impact.

Its GCSEs, people have been doing them for decades and there’s no need to give your entire life up to do them.

Thank you all, I really appreciate the input. I’m glad it sounds healthy. I really couldn’t tell. And you’re right, there is time to adjust if it doesn’t work

DS and the majority of his friends trained 19 hours a week for their sport all through GCSE year. That includes 2 hours before and 3 hours after school some days. Then when competitions are on they generally start Friday evening and conclude Sunday evening. Some did cut down part way into year 11 but some stick with it all the way though.

Also you need to let him find out for himself (possibly after the first round of mocks) if you make him drop something when he is not ready he will resent it and no effective revision will take place in the place of the dropped activity.

I may be coming from a different angle because my ds did 1 sport.

But swimming.

All of the swimmers at his level train for 4-5 hours a day 4 weekdays and 3 hours on a Saturday also including competition which involved national travel.

They all did amazingly at GCSEs as they were disciplined.

As long as he’s working hard to achieve his best - to get him into college - then life is also for living at 15/16.

Mine did similar, she's just waiting on her results.

Monday and Tuesday evenings were training, bit of revision after.

Wednesday see boyfriend at ours until 8, then revision.

Thursday: training, until the last month or so when she dropped this eve and went to the gym straight from school instead, or did an erg session at home.

Friday: tutor straight after school, hang out with boyfriend/have dinner. He would go at 8, perhaps a bit of revision.

Saturday and Sunday, normally a training session both mornings. Then one afternoon would be revision, one would be seeing boyfriend as well.

As we moved into the season sometimes there would be a competition at the weekend, we would judge whether she entered based on it's importance.

It sounds fine to me, as long as he is mature enough to work hard too. My DS spent about 20/24 hours a week out of the house training for his sport, plus gym a few times a week, plus seeing his girlfriend. Our agreement was always that we would allow him to do it all as long as his work was always his priority and up to date. I also told him he would have to start revising much earlier than some of his friends because there wasn’t time to cram for a few weeks before them. I think it worked out better than if he had had a lot of free time.

I dissent. Too much.

As the old saying goes “if you need something done ask a busy person”

My parents made me drop everything in y11. I was allowed music lessons until Xmas but only because my gr6 exam was scheduled.
I hated it. I'm still slightly resentful about it.
I did not restrict activities for dd through her GCSEs.

He’ll be fine. My dd is doing 11gcses. Your son has a light workload at school so he’ll have plenty of time.

I can understand why you're concerned, but it sounds like he has a fairly balanced mix of school, sport, hobbies and social time. Being active and having interests outside studying can actually help with stress, provided he is getting enough sleep and keeping up with his work. Since he feels confident, perhaps let him try his plan initially and agree on some warning signs to watch for, such as falling grades, exhaustion or constant stress. That way he can learn to manage his own workload while knowing you're there to support him.

That’s helpful information, thank you

If he’s always done that, then he should continue. He will probably ease of and do less during the revision period.

If he’s bright. He’ll be fine.

Personally, I don’t think GCSE’s need any type of strict revision. It puts too much pressure on kids. Results aren’t the be all and end all of life. He just needs to try his best and that should be good enough for you.

My best memories from year 11 are the ones spent with friends. It was the one of the last years I had to be carefree. Let him enjoy his time. As long as he behaves and listens in class and retains information.