Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my brother can’t work

9 replies

hecannotwork · 15/08/2026 14:07

My brother is 48 at the end of the year and has never really held down a job successfully.

He has autism and while he’s ’high functioning’ it’s a bit of a misleading statement because while he’s verbal etc he can barely manage to look after himself.

He has no social skills at all; he can’t manage time very well. His sleep is shocking so he will sleep in and miss shifts (even with multiple alarms) he also (and I would say this is perhaps the main thing holding him back) just cannot seem to follow basic instructions without either not listening or listening and taking it upon himself to do something different. He really is on another planet.

I’ll be honest here and admit I’m worried about supporting him, physically and financially, as he gets older (I am nearly 46.) He is on UC at the moment but tends to run out which is kind of understandable as it isn’t a lot.

I genuinely don’t think there’s a job he could do. So apart form UC I know he can claim PIP although not sure he’d be accepted … I’m wondering about buying a small property and letting him live off the rental income as well. Just trying to plan for the future.

OP posts:
Velumental · 15/08/2026 14:32

He definitely needs to apply for PIP and attend the cab so they can help him with the forms and gathering wvidence

x2boys · 15/08/2026 14:36

hecannotwork · 15/08/2026 14:07

My brother is 48 at the end of the year and has never really held down a job successfully.

He has autism and while he’s ’high functioning’ it’s a bit of a misleading statement because while he’s verbal etc he can barely manage to look after himself.

He has no social skills at all; he can’t manage time very well. His sleep is shocking so he will sleep in and miss shifts (even with multiple alarms) he also (and I would say this is perhaps the main thing holding him back) just cannot seem to follow basic instructions without either not listening or listening and taking it upon himself to do something different. He really is on another planet.

I’ll be honest here and admit I’m worried about supporting him, physically and financially, as he gets older (I am nearly 46.) He is on UC at the moment but tends to run out which is kind of understandable as it isn’t a lot.

I genuinely don’t think there’s a job he could do. So apart form UC I know he can claim PIP although not sure he’d be accepted … I’m wondering about buying a small property and letting him live off the rental income as well. Just trying to plan for the future.

If he needs help in most aspects of daily living
Then he may well be eligible for PIP
Also if he cant navigate a journey independently from A to B he may also be eigible for the mobilty elemrnt
The PIP forms are repetative but fairly strsightforward
He will also need professional evidence to support his claim

UnbeatenMum · 15/08/2026 14:40

It definitely sounds like he should be eligible for the LCWRA element of UC and possibly PIP as well. Where do things stand with the Jobcentre? Is he expected to be job searching?

Captnip500 · 15/08/2026 15:11

Hey op. I used to be a social welfare adviser and i can tell you that your brother should be entitled to PIP. The process of getting this is arduous and lengthy but if you collect the right evidence and get the form filled in by someone who knows what they are doing, he would, very likely, be successful. Also look into Limited capability for work related activity.

I would strongly suggest you take his form to citizens advice or your local council welfare team (if there is one in your area). They have a much higher success rate as then people who fill the form in themselves. Also don’t be to disheartened if you if refused pip on the first instance and needs to go to mandatory reconsideration or even tribunal. Mostly PIP is refused on first application but many more applications are successful on appeal.

hecannotwork · 15/08/2026 15:22

That’s the thing; I’m not sure how to go about collecting evidence. The only real evidence (as far as I can see!) is me and what I tell them and of course I could be lying.

OP posts:
Velumental · 15/08/2026 15:24

hecannotwork · 15/08/2026 15:22

That’s the thing; I’m not sure how to go about collecting evidence. The only real evidence (as far as I can see!) is me and what I tell them and of course I could be lying.

Does he have a diagnosis? Record of being let go from various jobs? Attendance at GP for mental health difficulties? Live a very isolated life centred on a strange special inter st? Etc etc

hecannotwork · 15/08/2026 15:27

At present he has no diagnosis but he is on the waiting list. It’s obviously going to be lengthy though unfortunately. He definitely has a lot of evidence of gp appointments and police involvement on safeguarding rather then criminal activity but not sure how to access it.

OP posts:
Velumental · 15/08/2026 15:29

hecannotwork · 15/08/2026 15:27

At present he has no diagnosis but he is on the waiting list. It’s obviously going to be lengthy though unfortunately. He definitely has a lot of evidence of gp appointments and police involvement on safeguarding rather then criminal activity but not sure how to access it.

Contact police non emergency number and they'll tell you how.

Morepositivemum · 15/08/2026 15:30

The forms on these things ask for detail and you go into as much as possible on how hard things are, if you sit down with it and just start from the beginning, going to your gp to help back you up it will help. Best of luck op x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page