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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For reporting ex to 101 for shoving and kicking our 16 year old ds

8 replies

Sunnytimes21 · 14/08/2026 23:21

50/50 arrangement, previous DA years ago with this delightful ex.

Tonight, our ds (16) came to me, we watched The Truman Show and ate a curry for a couple of hours together. He then went back to his dads because he's starting a new job tomorrow and his dad had arranged to drop him off in the am. While ds was at mine, his dad started drinking.

After ds had gone back to his dad's, he came home an hour or so later in floods of tears - they'd had an argument and ex has shoved him hard and kicked him as he left his flat. No marks but ds was massively shook up and didn't stop crying for over an hour.

I comforrted and talked it through with ds, and explained I'd be reporting it to 101. Ds wasn't keen because he doesn't want any repercussions for his dad. But he let me do it and said he trusted me to do the right thing. Ex is always guilt tripping ds and making him feel awful, typical controlling arse. But this feels like things could escalate as it was physical. I just want to protect ds, but he is worried how his dad will react if the police talk to him. He still wants to see him when things have calmed.

Would you have reported it?

OP posts:
summitfever · 14/08/2026 23:24

Yes you’ve done the right thing. My ex has finally settled down after years of abuse, we finally reported him and he’s been on bail so is forced to behave and reflect. I wouldn’t recommend dragging it through court if you can avoid it but a fright and a spell on bail will shape him up.

Sunnytimes21 · 14/08/2026 23:27

summitfever · 14/08/2026 23:24

Yes you’ve done the right thing. My ex has finally settled down after years of abuse, we finally reported him and he’s been on bail so is forced to behave and reflect. I wouldn’t recommend dragging it through court if you can avoid it but a fright and a spell on bail will shape him up.

Thank you. He only ever stopped with me when the police were involved. I just didn't know if it were overkill. I don't want a big fuss, but he can't get physical with ds

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TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 14/08/2026 23:30

You did the right thing. Your son needs to know that he can rely on you to protect him.

Stompythedinosaur · 14/08/2026 23:31

What a shitty abusive man. Oh course you're right to report it!

Rondayvu · 14/08/2026 23:33

Of course you did the right thing, what a nasty pig your ex is. Poor kid hope he is ok.

BitterTits · 14/08/2026 23:34

I'm surprised that 6% think YABU and I'm glad your son has you.

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · 14/08/2026 23:36

Poor DS. What a shame to have this hanging over him when he starts his new job.

You did the right thing. Ex needs putting back in his box.

Sunnytimes21 · 14/08/2026 23:43

Brilliant, thanks all. Fingers crossed that this isn't going to get too messy now and that the ex gives his head a wobble.

I've had lots of chats with ds, who was convinced this was his fault at first. Initially he didn't want to go to the new job tomorrow, but he's said he'll let me take him now. He's been so looking forward to it

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