AIBU to keep Boxing Day plans after DH changed his?

[sparkleapricot]

Long story short, me and DH can’t agree on Christmas plans. I do like to sort things early and he doesn’t. I have a big family who I’m very close to, he only has mum and dad who we are not close to. We have had several arguments with them overstepping the mark - including last Christmas which put a negative spin on the whole thing - it was also my DD first Christmas so really upset me.

anyway, I decided to not let that happen this year with a one year old. DH has ALWAYS gone to Boxing Day football and I am usually alone. Therefore, I agreed to a family meal at my sisters house - it’s her first Xmas in her house. Obviously I didn’t need to get this checked with DH as he wouldn’t be coming with me, I’ve never seen him on Boxing Day before.

so my plans were, Christmas Eve at home, Christmas Day at home, evening at my parents house. I knew I had to fit his parents in somewhere so I suggested Christmas Eve, but during the day. My DH is extremely defensive and told me that I should cancel my Boxing Day family meal and spend that day with his parents, as he has decided he’s not going to football. I think it’s unreasonable to expect me to do this considering he did have other plans but now that they have fallen through (for the first time ever?), I should cancel my plans. Am I being unreasonable?

Did you check with your DH before making the plans with your sister, or did you assume he'd be going to the football?

I don't think you should apologise if so because you should probably check in, but you don't have to change your plans.

The sky wont fall in if the visit to his parents’ is on 27th.
I’d not get defensive, but I wouldn't budge or apologise either, if up til now you have always been alone on Boxing Day, almost a tradition at this stage, with every reason to view the footie as carved in stone for DH every year.

I wonder what has changed (apart from your making a pleasant plan for the day, for once!)
I’d bet any money the football manages to rear back up by Christmas anyway, and is a non-negotiable for Boxing Day yet again, and there you'd be with your plans cancelled. DON’T.

Tell him you're keeping to your original plans and he's free to go and see his parents Boxing Day. Then you don't have to see them - win-win!

Remind him that every year up until now, he has gone to football. So it’s not unreasonable to expect the same this year. You can see his parents another day and he can organise that.

Absolutely stick to your plans just like he has all these years. Cheeky swine.

Stick to your plans. It's only August, I bet he changes his mind again and decides to go to the football - he won't want to spend boxing day aone with his parents !!!

Do Christmas at yours and get them all to come to you-it's easier than travelling with a little one. I'd be expecting a dad to be with his wife and daughter on boxing day (obviously unless he's working in an essential role), not watching football, even if he did that before he was a dad. While she might not remember this year, she will be excited and involved in doing things and her family should be around her to get excited by this, and he can go back to football when she's a teenager and would rather be with friends.