AIBU to feel blamed over our daughter's fear of the dark?

[MummyAtALoss]

Been on a family day out today with DH, DD (5) and grandparents. Went to a quirky place that is follies with a mixture of tunnels and curiosities. DD got quite upset in some of the darker parts and didn’t want to carry on. It was a surprise as she normally has quite a gung ho attitude to life.

It felt a little stressful as the grandparents (my dad) had paid and wanted her to enjoy the day. After some cajoling from me, she got involved and actually enjoyed herself.

When I was just thinking out loud about her reticent, my DH said in quite a barbed manner “this is your fault. You insisting on leaving the light on a night has made her afraid of the dark”.

This came out of nowhere, my DH has never commented on this before. She has a very low level nightlight, which wouldn’t consider out of the ordinary.

AIBU to feel this was an unhelpful comment in a tricky situation and make me feel under attack?

OP's husband is a dick. Fear of the dark is completely normal in children from around age 2 to around age 8, or so.

Wondering if he always looks for ways to take jabs at OP? 🤔

And fgs why are you or anyone else forcing your child to do something they didn't want to do? It was simply to appease a selfish adult.

Kids are scared of the dark, so are some adults. It's nothing to do with night lights, and it is everything to do with evolution.

Your DH was being a dick.

Thanks for your responses, I feel better to think I’m not overthinking it.

I did say at the time “I can’t believe you’ve said that”, but left it at that. He doesn’t make a habit of this behaviour but is terrible at admitting fault or apologising.

With regard to forcing her, it was only the elements I knew she’d actually like - stepping stones, getting squirted with water, etc. Because she hadn’t liked the first bit she’d done, I think she felt the rest was a non negotiable - but once she tried it, I couldn’t get her out.

Totally agree about not coercing her in to stuff she genuinely would be terrified of, but can see how my post read like that.

My 9 year old was spooked at forbidden corner. It’s a creepy place. I jumped a few times when we went!

OP, definitely not overthinking your dh's response. It gives insight to what he is actually thinking about you and your parenting, imo.

Ooo was it Forbidden corner you went to?? We went at the end of July and bloody loved it! I can see how some children might be frightened at some parts.

Yes! It was Forbidden Corner - last time I went was 15/20 years ago, so I’d forgotten most of it! Absolutely brilliant place, incredible how it is all designed!

DH is a fucking idiot. All of my kids were scared of the dark and I remember not being a fan when I was a child too. Five is still little, maybe if she was 15 the comment would be more appropriate.