WhatsApp for 12, nearly 13 year old? AIBU?

[Sweeeets]

It seems there is a specific version of WhatsApp now for under 13 year old. I am just wondering if anyone can help me make sense of the safety of this. My daughter is feeling very left out, going into year 8. She currently doesn’t have access to anything like WhatsApp or any social media but she is very much in the tiny minority. I won’t sway on this, because her safety is really important to me, but if there is a safe version, I would be happy for her to have it.

Does anyone know much about this and might be able to offer some guidance on how it actually works in real life?

What are your specific safety concerns about using the standard version of WhatsApp?

The parent managed account gives parents some oversight, but it's not going to stop children bullying children online, or one friend sharing something inappropriate. The most important safety tool you have to keep your DD safe is an excellent, open, trusting relationship with her, where she feels safe to tell you anything, knowing that nothing will surprise or shock you and you won't over react or lecture and that you'll support her to make the best decision rather than taking over.

But specifically about WhatsApp. It links her account with yours, you approve who can call or message her. You approve which group chats she's in. Unknown numbers can't message/call her without your approval . She can't change the settings without knowing your pin. You can't read the actual messages sent and received. She can't use dissappearing messages

I didn’t know about this version of WhatsApp. Will have a look

I think the parental control thing is fairly new (it wasn’t around when mine were younger teens).

What we did with younger teens is make sure you check chats and groups every couple of days. Be aware that they can set up locked chats which aren’t always easy to see (the parental version may avoid this). Be very careful with the large group chats as there are invariably issues with them (mine avoided them).

Hopefully you’ve drummed into them the possible issues, eg sharing inappropriate photos, and they feel comfortable coming to you if there are any issues. One issue we had was a friend adding my child to a very large group chat which contained stuff I wouldn’t be happy with my child seeing. My child came to me to say they saw they’d been added and asked me to check it before they read it thankfully.

Not everyone agrees, but I’m firmly in the camp of not banning apps like that, but rather teaching them how to use it safely.