18 year old not coming home

[ThisBrightThing]

My 18 year old has been at their partners house since last Friday morning. I have asked my child to return home on Wednesday to go to collect their A Level results this morning. This was refused as they were getting "stressing out" - my tect literally said its an important day and i would like to support you- so from my pov not stressing? I got a text at 8 this morning that they got their firm which I congratulated them on but nothing in regards of contact since. So no opportunity to celebrate them as it now tea time and they have still not come home.
This is not a one off situation, they just keep staying out and extending the time.
I hardly get my phone calls answered or text replied to.
Nothing has happened, no falling out or arguing. I recently paid for a holiday with the partner as a finishing exam treat. Again very little contact whilst away.
Is this normal for 18 year olds ? How would you handle it?
Aibu to expect better communication and more home time ?

You have to ask yourself why. They’ll be a reason, even if you don’t think there is.

Well, technically they’re an adult at 18 so it’s natural that they’ve started to pull away (and means you’ve done a good job). It’s a bit dissapointing I guess that he doesn’t want a family celebration but a lot of kids celebrate with their peers at exam results time. It’s perfectly normal.

GCSEs are with family, A levels are with friends and out celebrating. It's normal.

It's normal probably out celebrating with his friends.

I do understand why you are upset but ‘they’ are 18, probably celebrating with friends.

The lack of communication is rude but not unusual for many young adults.

If nothing has happened between you (perceived or otherwise) then they will be back.

They're heading off to the complete unknown in a few weeks. They are bound to be feeling a bit weird. They are testing boundaries. They are wanting to spend time with friends and partner who they will be leaving behind. You will still be there for them when they're away, when they come home. Friends might not be.

It's normal. Doesn't mean you have to put up with rudeness though. Depends how much slack you are prepared to give them...

It’s a bit rude and inconsiderate but if he was genuinely stressed about it he might be caught up
celebrating with his friends. I don’t think that is unusual.
How about telling him that you hope he is having a fantastic day but that you would love to celebrate with him at some point then suggest something that he will like such as a meal at his favourite restaurant.

Should be out on the lash with their friends/partner? I don’t remember anything after lunchtime the day I got my results.

Thanks, i honesly dont think iv done anything to upset my child. Dc came out as gay at 10 years old and I have always been nothing but positive and supportive about. We like Dc's partner who has been welcomed to our house and I have met partner parent who I also like. We pay for and support /show my interest in childs hobbies and studies.

I have always encouraged going to uni and travel to experience the world - uni course has a year abroad. Although I did shed a little tear when we were looking at universities as the realisation that dc would actually leave home soon !
Iv addressed the low contact a few weeks ago, just expressing that I would like more and I praise every time they do update me . Maybe I am just being a bit sensitive and they are just doing normal 18 year old things

It wasn't normal for my 18, now 19 yo. Usually a good mix of spending lots of time with friends but also with us, and she celebrated with both on A level results day. But perhaps the partner in the mix means your DC just wants to spend most of their time with them. Is your relationship with them usually OK?

😂
I was definitely a wild child at that age but my Dc isn't
They are more interested in dance than going out drinking

Is the partner going to uni too?

This was me as a teen. I lived at my boyfriends home practically - how his parents put up with me I'll never know!

Yes, my Dc is going to Durham, partner is going to Wrexham. Opposite sides of the country