Please don’t buy pets just for your children if you aren’t prepared to step up and look after them yourself

[GSolis]

If you have young children, please please do not get pets just because they want them! They are not toys. I am friends with someone who keeps getting pets for her daughter when she is not prepared to properly look after them herself. There’s been three cats which have all since been rehomed, two hamsters bought at separate times which both died after 2 or 3 months, a single Guinea pig which they gave away and now they have a budgie.

All of these pets (apart from the cats) have been purchased from pets at home, not had any research done about what it means to care for them, what they need, appropriate enclosure, appropriate diet etc. just tiny shitty plastic cages stuck in the corner of the child’s room. My friend even said to me that her daughter has been asking for another cat but she isn’t sure (just say no!).

You can’t just nip to the shop and buy your child a hamster or a bird because it’s bored and asked for one. Buy a new toy instead if you must. People should only be buying pets for their children if they’re going to be a family pet and you as the adult are going to look after them, research what they need, and provide that to them. Sadly, people do this all the time, especially with small animals like guinea pigs and hamsters, they are so neglected it’s awful.

I understand this isn’t really an AIBU? Because of course I’m not being unreasonable. But I have just come from my friends house and to see that poor bird in a cage in the corner of the room with no enrichment, never let out to fly and only eating a diet of seeds (no veggies or greens at all) has really saddened me and I see it so often that I just feel the need to say please please do not do this to these poor animals. If you aren’t prepared to properly look after an animal then just say no to your kid, it’s so simple.

If anyone says to me they’re getting a pet for the kids I always say make sure you’re prepared to look after it as kids will get bored!

i’d be telling the friend to take the bird back to the shop and gettimg the child a toy one instead. put it in the cage see how long it takes the child to notice.

as a budgie owner, you can tell whether it’s been exercised or not as they dont build up muscle uf they never fly. it’s cruel to keep them caged all the time. having said that, my ex decided in his wisdom to open a window when my bird was flying inside and you can guess what happened. prick.

Hard agree. We have rabbits… it’s a lot of work. The kids love them, but they’re mine 😂 Really glad to see the push back against keeping them in hutches.

100% agree. All our kids have left home now and have homes and pets of their own now but my cats were my choice to get a decade ago as I knew that they would be my responsibility for their lifetime.

That is also the reason why whenever they asked if we could get a dog, that I said a flat no, as I didn't want the responsibility - despite their wails of "We will look after it, we will walk it, we will feed it"

YABU for calling her a friend.

Why is she your friend? People who use and discard animals as she does are not good people.

YANBU on everything else.

Personally, as a breeder, if someone tells me 'the kids really want a dog' or some variation there of...straight onto the 'no' pile. I actively avoid people with (young) children. Even older children it takes a lot to change my mind. So in my opinion, the people selling these pets are just as culpable as the buyers.

It's incredibly sad that so many people view pets as 'must-have items' rather than living beings.

Obsessed with your friends addiction to pets4homes

They must be sick of the sight of her!

I agree. It is a commitment that needs to be thought through. If you do not feel 100% you can, there is nothing wrong with saying no to your children, explained in an age appropriate way. Indeed the disappointment could be part of building resilience in a child.

I wish more people had thought as carefully in 2020 about a pet, especially a dog.

Your friend is an irresponsible fuckwit.

Hard agree, used to know someone who did that with puppies, once past the cute stage and in need of training they rehomed. The DD was very surprised to see a video of our dog once an adult, she had played with her as a puppy. She asked 'haven't you got rid of her yet' Her mum didn't even look shocked. I replied ' of course not, your mum wouldn't get rid of you would she? ' Mum looked uncomfortable at that! No longer friends.

Same with rabbits in hutches . Unless they are let out regularly , it’s just an existence.

Your friend is an irresponsible fuckwit.
This

Depends on the child? My dd was 9 when she asked for a hamster. We eventually said yes when she was 10. She was amazing for the years the hamster lived for. She fed him and changed his water everyday. I did help change the cage etc.
She played with him while still respectful of him. She even told me she thought he needed to be seen at the vet. Which she was right he did.

Agree, obviously @GSolis !

We have a cat that we had for years before ds. When he was 4 we decided to get guinea pigs, but that was because I wanted them 🤣 I'd had them before and know how to look after them and thought ds might enjoy helping etc, but if he lost interest it didn't matter because they were really "mine" anyway. We've had them a few years now and although I clean them out, ds feeds and chats to then every day and we handle them regularly. He sings them a good night song on his way up to bed 🤣💜

Pets4homes is a small ads website, not Pets at Home the pet shop chain.

I'm not sure why you're preaching here instead of to your friend?

In fact, I really couldn't be friends with a dick like that.

Oh - tbf both of them should ban her!

Absolutely
And the pet does belong to the adult as by Law a child cannot buy one or be held responsible .

DD and I had guinea-pigs . They had a PigShed fpr fair weather and came indoors for colder weather . Their cages literally took over the small bedroom .

So many times when we were buying hay or Readi-Grass ,a parent and child were looking at the cute baby guinea-pigs in the small petstore perspex cages .

"Ohh can I have a guinea-pig" .....
"Yes we'll get you a guinea-pig"

Often I'd stick my oars in and say you should never get a single piggie and you know you;ll be cleaning the cage .
I said to one mum " At 6am I was out sorting the guinea pig house"
My DD did 50% , we shared the piggies ( 3 out of 8 were mine)
I wouldn't want to put people off getting guinea-pigs but I am so angry how many end up on Gumtree needs gone /kids got bored/don't have time/we're getting a puppy
They aren't disposable . They're sentient beings

Agree 100%. We have a bearded dragon and although my son is very good and bathes her (while supervised) and interacts with her out of her vivarium every single day, I am ultimately responsible for her. We would have her if I was prepared for that.

Totally agree.

My DC had all types of pets from hamsters to dogs and then some.

Only criteria was they couldn't contain scales or more than 4 legs, as I wasn't prepared to look after reptiles or arachnids if they lost interest.

I don't think what you said is unreasonable, and you said you know it's not, but why are you friends with someone that does it then?
People who behave like this, as in not making sure a living animal is looked after, are surely a massive risk with kids.

Did you say anything to your friend?

Your friend is just stupid. I find parents who buy their child everything they want including animals and then a few weeks later its given away are mostly of low intelligence. When your friend keeps buying her child these pets do you say anything?

OP, unfortunately you are probably preaching to the converted. I grew up with pets, had a parent who rescued many rabbits and was able to give them freedom to hop and be rabbits, and also cats, and birds etc etc. We have always had guinea pigs who are the most amazing pets and I am now a foster carer for cats and kittens. I work with families and see huge numbers of badly treated pets, mainly dogs kept in kitchens and never walked and un-neutered cats having kittens after kittens. Seeing a neglected rabbit in a tiny hutch has thankfully become less usual.

The law needs to change. Any pet should be neutered and chipped unless the owner has applied for a license to breed. I do not agree with breeding, there are enough dogs and cats needing homes but it would be a start. I also know that not everyone will comply.

Anyone who works in cat rescue in kitten season, and sees the result of cats not being neutered and the inbreeding and health consequences can tell some horror stories. And please do not pretend this is exclusive to the less well off. My resuce has been called to sort out colonies where a middle class person decided they cannot afford neutering and before they knew it there were a lot of poorly kittens.