Bullying? Or playful teasing?

[cartylou]

My daughter is 10 and quite often we see my sister and her lad who is 13 but last time we visited I was observing his behaviour and could see she looked a bit uncomfortable.
For example he would ask her a question and whatever she replied he would then mimick her reply in a whinny sort of voice which I could see confused her, he did this a lot when she spoke.
I also noticed at one point him saying don’t be such a girl despite her being a little girl.
I got the impression he was trying to belittle her but at her age she didn’t pick up on it, although I could see she didn’t know how to answer the mimicking or the girl remark.
Usually they play games on a device together, listen to music or watch funny videos in the living room with us there and I’ve never really noticed this then and I’ve always thought as cousins they get along really well and she is usually pleased to see him but this particular evening we were all outside so no games consoles, they were chatting and listening to music and stuff on his phone, just sitting on a garden sofa.

Am I reading too much into this?

Once is playful teasing.
Happening again - boundaries - stepping in needed.
Happening often/every visit - Bullying.
He sounds like hard work.
The age gap will be more pronounced now as one is in primary, whilst the other is in High school.

Edited to add, they are not siblings, yet they are family and may bicker and banter sometimes, but of this is constant, then this is not on.
Don't be fooled with the whole kids will be kids crap as an excuse.
He is 3 years older and should know better.
Don't allow her to have to put up with this.
Stand up for her.

You need to stand up for your daughter. She isn't going to confront a 13 year old boy bullying her, so you need to do it.

The dynamic between them will be changing at 10 and 13. He's probably a bit bored and more used to banter and wind ups. His content on his phone might also get more inappropriate for your daughter. What they're laughing about in secondary school is different to primary.
Ask your daughter if she's bothered by it?
Basically you just need to keep a closer eye and remind him she's 10 if the teasing bothers her. Bullying is a bit dramatic.

By the way, a tip for people mimicking you is to say something that they won't want to repeat. For example, if her name is Beth, she should say, Beth is so clever, Beth is the best, etc. and if he wants to copy it in a silly voice, it will just be funny.

This is how putting up with shit from men starts imo.

Talk to her about it. Tell her you noticed. Ask her her feelings about it. Tell her it's appropriate to feel pissed off about it. Empower her to tell him to stop or give back as good as she gets, whichever shes more comfortable with. Support her in not standing for this behavior by sticking up for her loudly whenever he does it. Have some stock phrases ready to go.

Don't let the little shit get away with it unchallenged.

Ask him why he's acting so immature,when he's supposed to be 3 years older. Hopefully that'll embarrass him. Why isn't your sister saying anything to him?

No way I would be allowing that to happen.
That is just awful.
3 year difference and he is flexing with her.
He wouldn't do this to friends as he'd be told to F off.

Protect your daughter.
She looks uncomfortable being mocked, you can clearly see it.
Why would you stand by?
Do you want her to get the message that this is behaviour she has to accept from boys?

I would talk to her about how wrong it is and that she doesn't have to accept it.

Him being her cousin and being so nasty has confused her, which is even worse.

I would not be allowing them to be together until he has been spoken to.

He might think its fun, but he sure as hell wouldn't like it if a 16 year old was doing it to him.

It could just be playful teasing, but sometimes children don't know how to respond when something makes them uncomfortable. I'd just keep an eye on it and check in with her casually.

He’s doing this to your daughter because she is an easy target, letting it continue reinforces to both kids that this is normal and she should just accept being continually disrespected, not just from her bellend cousin but from other males people too. That’s not a lesson I would ever teach my daughters- or something I’d want my son to learn either.

He wouldn't do this to friends as he'd be told to F off.

He might do it with friends his own age. They probably all do it to each other and all tell each other to fuck off. Bantering with your mates is different though. Maybe he just needs to learn that.

I’ve often thought that ‘teasing’ is a euphemism for bullying, certainly it is if it makes the other person uncomfortable or upset.

I’d be having a Firm Word with the boy, telling him that he might think it’s funny, but it’s not, it’s bordering on nasty.

You see she’s looking uncomfortable yet haven’t stopped him? Why not?

I’m fairly appalled his parents didn’t step in.

And in your position if they didn’t, I would have.