AIBU to feel uneasy about her going to beach zumba?

[Lovehaterelationshipwithsummer]

Dd, 8 has a friend across the road, 9.

Last night, 7 ish, he came to ask if Dd wanted to come with him to his mums zumba class. It was by the beach in a square, pavement area.
They were to bring a few toys for the beach, whilst his mum did zumba.
Dd was very excited so I agreed, but felt anxious when she’d left.
Dh said I was being far too overprotective and need to relax.

It’s a busy tourist place in the middle of August and mum would be doing zumba

Would this bother you?

The parent is not going to be able to supervise them as she is busy. I wouldn’t be comfortable sending my child and that age to a busy location with no supervision

How far away is it? Do the children know the beach well? If it’s near home I’d see it the same as them playing out in a park together so supervision isn’t needed anyway.

Yes, a busy tourist area with them completely unsupervised is a hard no from me. The mum is using your DD as a companion so she can go. Not the same as playing our near a park at home if full of people.

No this would not bother me at all. I presume the rule is they stay within the mothers visual range. They are being supervised from a bit of distance but will feel like they are having a great adventure without the grown ups. Let them have their fun

So they were on the beach sat down with toys by the edge of the pavement part where she was dancing, so within eye sight, but I was worried she’d be too distracted dancing?
Dd was fine, I told her to stay in that exact part by the mum and with the boy.
Tbh I felt uncomfortable until she was back

Bit young, especially in a busy part of town. I would have said that the friend could just play at ours while mum's at the class. Or gone along with the kids.

With some parameters I think this is ok. I.e. the children know not to wander off and not to go near or into the water.

What exactly is it that you are worried about?

Was there a lifeguard still on duty? Is your child sensible round water? I wouldn't be happy with unsupervised children on the beach.

I’m glad it was all fine, but agree it’s not a safe choice.

I think lesson learned there - often as our kids get older they’ll be asking to do things that actually you don’t think are ok - but it can be hard when they ask in front of their friends or you’re put on the spot!

I’ve taught my kids a few code phrases - if they tell me they can’t find their magnet fidget, I know that means they need to talk to me privately (useful when we have guests here or are out with friends) and if I tell them we still need to nip to the pharmacy that means I’m saying we can’t do something/need to leave somewhere. That way we can always communicate with each other that there’s an issue we need to discuss or that we can’t do something without worrying about being rude to people!

I would be comfortable with this.
My dc were sensible, understood the dangers of the sea (and swam confidently from an early age due to our location). They also knew how to make themselves heard.

What was your worry?

It’s a no from me. The Beach is dangerous.

@NameChangeScot "With some parameters I think this is ok. I.e. the children know not to wander off and not to go near or into the water."

Yes, kids are supposed to know not to wander off, talk to strangers, go and look at puppies or get into the sea - and all the rest of it. But they are kids, and kids will be kids. You can never totally rely on them to not do something daft, or be talked into doing something daft.

You can never fully rely on anyone not to do something daft. Teenagers are the kings and queens or doing daft thingss but we still have to let them out of our sight and hope we've equipped them with the skills the need to make good choices.

There was an adult with them, just not right there supervising the whole time. At 8yrs old my children were walking to school by themselves, going to the park with friends and swimmimg pool. I think this is an excellent stepping stone to trust and independence.

I did offer this, but Dd was more excited at getting the chance to do this

This is actually a brilliant idea! I'm sorry I never thought of it.