AIBU to ask my lodger to cut down on washing machine use?

[Member869894]

More of a WWYD really and I'm aware this is a first world problem. I have a lodger. He's nice enough but he uses the washing machine 4-5 times a WEEK. This morning I've come downstairs to a lone pair of shorts in there swishing around.
I'm not good at confrontation. How do i broach this without offending him?

I've not read the full threat, any chance he had an 'accident' and didn't want to wash it with anything else?

It’s very sweet that you have taken this as an opportunity to have an imaginary conversation and write your own script. But perhaps the best place for that is your local amateur dramatics society because all this playing pretend has caused you to miss a large chunk of context.

Yes it’s her house but she has set out terms and conditions in a contract for which she allows use of parts of her home and access to white goods in exchange for payment. She can’t then start to change those terms. It’s also crazy to think you can police another grown adult’s use of the washing machine.

I also hosted foreign students for the local language school and they realised this was an issue and they told us that 2 loads a week was included in the
deal and we could charge for anything over.
in this situation you should consider saying -
only full loads and agree a total number of loads - personally I think three is a minimum- bedding and towels/lights/darks

Years ago a land lady unplugged the washing machine during the day while she was at work. She didn’t say anything just plugged it back in at night. Myself and the other person who rented rooms wondered why but were too timid to ask.

Of course you can. Theres such a thing as reasonable use and for 1 person thats 2 loads a week max.

I was towels separately because they usually make a full load. And at 30p a wash I’m not going to get to worked up about it if it’s only 3/4 of a load. But to the OPs original point, washing one item is silly and she’s right to raise it. Beyond that, rationing use of the machine is unreasonable IMO, and all this talk of charging more is pointless when the additional cost is so little. Perhaps in this hot spell playing on the water usage would help, but again a washing machine uses around 40 litres per cycle, and I reckon hand washing a few things would use more than that by themselves time you’ve left a tap running to rinse things properly….

The energy, cost and environment arguments for rationing use of the machine are weak or non existent. It’s just that that she doesn’t like it. And that’s fair enough. It’s her house. But by having a lodger you’re having to accept that others do things differently, and you’re taking their money, so it’s unreasonable to ration usage to a lodger or tenant IMO. So what you’re left with is don’t use the machine at unsocial times, and try to make sure that you’ve got at least half loads :)

For many (most?) of us who are single, through choice or otherwise, 2 loads a week is deeply unreasonable, if one wants to maintain acceptable standards of cleanliness. We don’t all have the same lifestyle. You’d be making people chose between washing bed linen, towels, clothes (whites and coloureds) or exercising in any given week :)

Not really. I have 3 adults and 1 child in my house atm. My 19yr old goes thro a lot of clothes but i only do 4 or 5 loads a week. If he isnt there, like when he goes on holiday Im literally at 2 loads excl bedding wash.

There difference between 4 or 5 loads and 2 or 3 loads is about 50p a week (or a couple of pounds a month) and 80 litres of water. The water would be more than offset by handwashing a few times, and the lodger is already paying many hundreds of pounds a month in rent. I do think it’s unreasonable to quibble over a couple of pounds when you’re charging multiple hundreds of pounds a month, and no amount of mumsnet parsimonious, miserly or virtuous ‘I can do the entire washing for a family of four every week by only using the machine a few times, at night, on economy 7 and by recycling the water on the flower beds’ will convince me otherwise :)

I am far from profligate, am widowed but still use the washing machine at least 3 and usually four times a week. Bed linen is one, towels is two, coloureds is three and if there are sufficient whites then that’ll be a fourth. Often a weeks worth of gym gear will either make the fourth, or even fifth if there are lots of whites. But then I can’t make a chicken last more than a few days either ;)

It's odd that many people on this thread are entirely focussing on the fairly minimal financial costs of running half empty lads when it's the environmental costs of wasteful habits that really matter more.

Its fairly obvious that singlehandedly one person can't make much of a difference to the environment by waiting until they have a full load of genuinely dirty laundry needing to be washed at a specific temperature, but the population as a whole can make a difference, if habit are changed to reduce consumption by say 10 to 15%. Over the last sixty years or so, many people seem to have developed a very entitled couldn't care less attitude, by continuing do just as they like because they can afford the financial costs with complete disregard to the impact on the environment.

The OP shouldn't accept the continued use of her washing machine for unnecessary multiple small loads It seems to me a proper adult conversation is needed, and maybe if two single people are sharing accommodation, there could be shared full loads, or waiting until each has their own full load.

Residents landlords don't have to tolerate behaviours that they don't like though provided their go through proper process.. If a grown up conversation doesn't work, and if OP did unwisely include unlimited use of white goods etc in the lodger licence agreement, then she does have rights to give notice to terminate that arrangement, and offer new terms and conditions though. if the lodger doesn't think the terms and conditions are reasonable he is free to leave.

Did you have the chat OP?

Well said.
Most other answers are not sensible.
It's a commercial transaction with an adult, not some power trip with her son or daughter.

In the very worst scenario (5 full loads every week, tumble drying each with a non energy efficient appliance, using expensive brands detergent which op pays for in full) the calendar month cost is 37 pounds.

Two loads should be already included in the rent.
The extra 3 are an additional cost, around 23 pounds per calendar month.

She should ask him if he would be ok for him to pay an extra 20 pounds to cover for that (given she says it is 4 to 5 loads per week, and most likely he will not be around each and every week of the year).

This is the professional and respectful way to do it.
Not some "my house my rules, even I charge you rent" kind of thing.

Each of you has their own weekly load, and one misses out every week?
Or do you rather mean that every load is shared?

Because otherwise it's a bit like wondering why a single person needs to cook dinner and wash dishes 7 times per week, just like a family of 6 do.
Lots of people do not have a wardrobe full of clothes for each season, so they wash the few they actually use as needed.

Washing a single pair of shorts is wasteful and ridiculous.

Using a tumble dryer for a full dry in warm weather is also ridiculous. That said, I give towels a hot tumble for 5 minutes before hanging them out to keep them soft, and I also use a 5 minute tumble on nearly dry clothes to eliminate the need to iron , which would use more energy.

I don’t think 4 loads per week is unreasonable, as long as they are full loads.

4-5 full loads is about right for a single person, is your lodger sporty?
perhaps they are washing gym kit or something on lighter loads on a rapid wash?
But 1 x pair of shorts does sound a bit silly!

Fair enough! I do 3 approx loads a fortnight as a lone adult. A lodger doing more washing than I do would be encouraged to move out. Goodbye lodger. Unless they worked in a mucky outdoor sort of job in which case of course they’d need to wash clothes more often.

4-5 loads per week for one person is ridiculously excessive.

It really isn’t!

1 load of bedding, 1 load of towels, 1 load of gym kit/ swim kit, 1 load of coloured clothes, 1 load of whites.

It may be more than some people do, but ‘ridiculously excessive’ is over-dramatic.

Doing a full wash for one pair of shorts is ridiculous though .

4-5 loads a week is nuts, we do about 3 for a family of 3.
1 load of whites, 1 colours and 1 towels or bedding. We don't always generate enough of something for a full load every week so some weeks I do towels and bedding together on hot, other weeks I leave the towels and mix bedding and clothes and the towels go in the next week.

I'd expect a grown adult to own more than one set of towels and bedding and shorts and not need to run the washing machine for a single item. A rare panic when you realise you forgot to wash something is fair enough but it shouldn't be standard when you're sharing someone else's house.

I think some people have much bigger machines than other people.
Mine is an old machine and is full with bedding from a double bed, duvet cover, base sheet and four pillow cases and two pillow protectors.
two bath sheets is also a full load, and we only wash these once a week, and have another towels was for hand towels, tea towels and kitchen towels. So that is three loads. Then a darks, a lights and a delicates. So for two people we do six loads a week.
edit to add we go to the gym and have active hobbies, so lots of sweaty kit.

What do you have in your lodger agreement?
Maybe it's something to add for a future lodger.
It's your house, so have a polite word. Or put the rent up!

I think it 4-5 loads a week for a single person is ridiculous. Just because the lodger is running smaller loads of different types of items because presumably he doesn't want to spend his own money on buying enough clothes to last him him through to a full load, when he'd rather spend OP money and wear out her washing machine in doing unnecessary half, quarter or even single item loads instead.

it's such a waste of energy and resources. The financial cost might be fairly minimal per extra load, but I bet he would not go to a launderette and do five separate loads.

When my children were at home as a family of 5, I was not doing 20 to 25 loads a week, and I had PE kit, swimming kit, and school uniforms to wash, which the lodger doesn't not. The washing machine was on once or twice a day, maximum, very occasionally 3 times ( rarely)

It really is. To "need" to wash that amount of clothing/bedding in one week for one person is ridiculously excessive. A waste of water and energy. Clothes can be worn more than once if not dirty/sweaty. If they are, obviously they do need to be washed but if not - another outing. Bedding once a fortnight is usually plenty. One bath towel a week.

I am sorry, if somebody is paying rent, washing bedding weekly is standard. Fortnightly is foul. Am heaving here at towels once a week too.
4-5 loads is to me perfectly normal, not at all excessive!?
Ultimately some may be happy wearing clothes already worn might be happy with that. Others would find it revolting.
The point here is if you are charging rent, the lodger should have the choice & right to maintain their own standards of hygiene, this isn’t something that can be dictated.