AIBU to be upset my boyfriend still looks at his ex's photos?

[RespectisEarned]

I've recently discovered that my boyfriend of just over a year is regularly looking at photos of his ex partner. I'm not being petty, as when I say regularly I mean pretty much every single night. Always when I'm not with him, when he's not staying at my place, when I'm not staying at his place. This was around two weeks ago.

I'm afraid I lost my temper, admitted I'd snooped as I'd noticed he was looking at her on Facebook one time I walked in on him and he thought I was still in the shower. I let it go but had one of those weird gut feelings. I knew his passcode, saw him putting it in, remembered it and one night recently while he was asleep I went through his history.

I'm bound to get flak for this but I would have had no idea if I hadn't snooped. Every night he's looking, if not every night every other night and it's always at his bedtime and when he wakes up.

So of course I think he's masturbating to her, missing her. They were a couple for a really long time, they bought a house together but fell out over money apparently, then he told me she fell out of love with him and they separated and had to sell the house. She lives about half an hour away by car. He refers to her a lot, like we went to a pub that I've only just discovered and of course he had to say he had been there with her!

Forgot to mention they have been apart for 6 years!

We had a chat a couple of weeks back and he gave a lame excuse. He even said he was trying to figure out whether I was better or not!!!! At that point I actually walked out, but cooled down after a couple of days and we talked again and he said they had so much history that the bond might take some time to break. But he was no longer in love with her and didn't want her back.

He had to delete his Facebook as he got hacked, but has made a new one and I noticed he has added her as a friend but she has not responded. Since we had the chat though, he has not stopped, he's still looking her up and must look at around 10 images every night and morning.

I'm so angry. He thinks I'm overreacting. He had no comment to make when I asked him how he would feel if I was doing the same with my ex.

Please tell me I'm not overreacting!!

Fuck him right off

Sorry, I wouldn't bother with this man and tell him not to date anyone else until he was ready.
I'd hate to be playing second fiddle to someone like this. Looking at photo's, Facebook stalking or something once in a blue moon is fine. Not daily. You deserve more OP, someone who's not doing this

I don’t think this will have a happy ending
I’d ditch him, he isn’t all in for you like you deserve.

Get rid if him. You deserve better 🙏

He’s clearly obsessed with her…

He's still in love with her, even if she isn't with him. You can't be in a relationship with someone like that, it won't work because he's hung up on a memory of someone. You can't compete with a rose-tinted view of some past squeeze.

How do you know what he is looking at on Facebook and how many photos etc?? Is he liking the pictures or what.

I dont understand people looking up their ex, though I know plenty who do it, to see what theyre up to, hope theyre unhappy etc.

But equally logging into someone else's social media to effectively stalk them is also odd behaviour so ya both bu!