AIBU to think that too many restaurants play their music ridiculously loud

[DingDongDenny]

We were visiting a small touristy village in Scotland last week with relatives and stopped to have lunch at a restaurant by the river.

When we walked in, there was only two other people there, despite it being lunch time. I had picked it because I liked the menu online, the view was good and the seating area was lovely, with comfy chairs overlooking the water. But as we sat down we realised the music was really loud, like nightclub levels, and we couldn't hear each other speak. The other couple were just glued to their phones.

I asked the waiter if he could please turn it down a bit and he said he gets asked that a lot, but the Manager won't let them. We decided to not to stay and on the way out I said to one of the staff that we were leaving as the music was too loud and she didn't reply, just looked at me like I was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe. We clearly weren't the demographic they were aiming for 🙄but then most of the tourists were either families or middle aged folk like us.

We ended up going to the cafe next door, which was heaving with folk and even there you could still hear their music.

AIBU to think that the comfort of your customers is more important than the 'vibe' you are trying to create. And that far too many restaurants have music that is way too loud and ruins the experience for most people, who are there to chat and enjoy the company of friends and family.

I agree completely. Even bars that play music too loud through the daytime put me off.

You're right. My husband has hearing aids and it can be really annoying if music is blasting out.

I totally agree. They don't seem to know what background music is these days.

Some shops can be the same and it is very off-putting. I avoid them.

You can add Marks and Spencer to the list. Ours,at least, seems to want you out of the shop as soon as you arrive judging by the a) terrible and b) loud music blasting out.
I did complain (politely) and was told it wasn't in their control. Obviously operated by aliens.

Isn't that one bad restaurant, though? And in a tourist hotspot, therefore completely uninterested in repeat business? (Though if it was empty, I'm assuming they weren't actually interested in one-off business, either...)

I completely agree and thought the same thing when I was in my 20s so I’m not even sure it’s an age thing it’s not for me anyway . Always hated it . Hate loud gigs in pubs as well where you can’t have a conversation..

I wish it was Unblushingly. That's just the most recent example I have, but I think it's very common. Last year we had a reunion of cousins and the restaurant we went to in Glasgow was so loud you could only speak to the person next to you in a table of 6. Even then you had to shout.

I know it sounds weird, but I can't taste the food as well when it's too loud 😂

I actually don't think that's weird (your last point) -- I think some research done by people developing meals to be served on flights suggests that it's not just the altitude and dry, recycled air that dulls your tastebuds down 30%, but that ambient noise also has an effect.

The restaurant thing isn't something I've noticed and I eat out a fair bit, but certainly restaurants in tourist areas and ones that want a fast table turnover deliberately 'encourage' people not to linger by loud music, yes.

I used to work in a pub where the same music tape was played loudly on repeat. No one was allowed to turn it down, off or change the tape. Countless regulars used to complain to us and to the owner - the pub didn't survive and no one was surprised.
I don't go to loud pubs or restaurants. I don't go anywhere that advertises they have Sky sports - thankfully I can still find places that meet these requirements and serve good food and drink.

Oh Lord yes!

We once booked dinner at what looked like a very good steak restaurant on Richmond’s riverside, for us and two couples we only got together with about once a year.
We’d checked the place out at lunchtime - all fine.
In the evening the music was so loud, we had to shout at each other across the table.

Never again! WHY do they do it??

The following year I checked with a different restaurant in advance that it’d be quiet.

For atmosphere.

I agree op, loud music is a pain, literally. I struggle with noise full stop, so loud music makes me run a mile.
You've also reminded me of a visit to one of our favourite places which was always so busy and so difficult to find a seat as it was so fabulous.
On this occasion we walked in and the place was empty.. very odd.
Placed the order and was told by the waitress that she and her husband ( the chef) were the new owners. All fine.
Order arrived, and as we started to eat the waitress started to sing... Badly, off key, wrong words, loudly, screechily, the lot, all whilst walking around us and the other empty tables.
She continued until we' d finished eating, then stopped.
On asking if we were having desert and we declined saying couldn't possibly eat another mouthful, blah blah, she said it was such a shame as she had another of her fave songs lined up for us over desert and coffee .
It's no longer our favourite place because we don't go there anymore.

There is noise, and there is noise about a level which could damage the hearing of those who work there. If the latter, then as you have raised it with the staff, complaining to the local council on those grounds would be reasonable.

I don't know why places think loud background music makes 'atmosphere' because it doesn't, unless the atmosphere they're aiming for is that of a crap nightclub.

I actively avoid places that play loud music, I can't hear well against background noise at the best of times and I'm not going to spend the evening shouting or sitting nodding blankly.

I know some people have made the point that there are still restaurants that aren't too loud and I agree. But the problem is when you haven't been there before and you've booked in advance, you are often stuck.

For example, our cousins reunion, It was a busy Saturday in Glasgow, no hope of finding somewhere else and no warning it fancied itself as a nightclub. I do think it is a more common problem now.

some of the problem is that the person who allows the loud music may themselves be unknowingly partially deaf, having listened to loud music for years, and therefore thinks it’s not that loud. when it is.

My neighbours children keep the car radio on LOUDLY and the parents allow it. kids are pre school and primary school.

i can hear it in my house from them in their car in the street with my windows all shut and their car windows all shut. shows you how loud it is.

those kids will be deaf by the time they are old enough to manage a pub and decide on music volumes. good luck with that lol.

My grumpy old cow persona is coming out now!! 🤣 Everywhere seems too loud! The cinema, theatre, live music gigs, restaurants! I just don’t get the need for it to be so loud! I have tinnitus and have to wear earplugs everywhere or I’m left with super loud ringing for days after! And restaurants! Most people go with others and want to be able to chat not shout over too loud music!

Was it in Dunkeld, @DingDongDenny ? There’s a very weird “Ibiza style bar “ there on the river

I agree it’s becoming a thing, often ask for it to be turned down or to move

We used to visit a cafe that was mainly frequented by middle aged people, middle aged cyclists and elderly people. It was taken over by a 30s something manager and he took to playing contemporary pop stuff really loudly. A year later it was nearly out of business and was taken over by someone more sensible. We don't bother going anymore because the food is crap now.

If I wanted to go to a nightclub that's where I'd go! So many places are so loud now it sounds like I've walked into a nightclub and not a restaurant. I've been known to open the door and walk back out because the music is too loud

Don’t they play the loud music deliberately so people can’t chat so they eat more quickly? I don’t like loud music in restaurants either, it’s not a nightclub!

Totally agree, OP! Admittedly we all have different sensitivities but my point would be - WHO exactly would find their eating out experience spoiled by NOT having loud music played? Virtually no-one I'd wager.
I don't know about it being more common now though - I remember this when I was in my 20s, so getting on for a few decades now - weirdly I don't experience it as much these days but then I don't go out as much!

YANBU. My heart sinks when I realise the music's too loud. Such a pain to be shouting at your companions. The Guardian did an interview with Andrew Ridgeley last year I think and asked What single thing would make your life better? And he replied "No music in restaurants."

But music in shops at Christmas is my biggest bugbear. I've walked out before, because I was trying to buy something, couldn't decide and couldn't think straight because of the racket. I felt really hot and claustrophobic in a packed Boots one year and the music was part of it. So I went round and asked seven people what they thought about the music. Four people hated it. Two hadn't noticed it. One had noticed but didn't mind. So that's zero who loved it.

I remember being at loch lomond years ago. Just sitting on a bench trying to enjoy the view.

But the acquarium nearby was playing this horrible music on a ten second loop over and over really loudly. Couldnt believe it, i mean lovely place to visit and ypu couldnt escape the aquarium music.

I find this with some retail stores too! Tesco express near me has their music so loud! Cant wait to get out of there.