Theme parks are ruined if you don't pay for a fast pass?

[Twoweeksinaugust]

AIBU to think it's hardly worth even going to a theme park on a sunny day unless you want to pay the £300 extra for a fast pass?
The queues are absolutely awful, and it's very hard for the dc to understand that although it looks like we'll be on the next turn, a dozen people come through woth a fast pass and teh queue doesn't move at all.
It just feels beyond the reach of a normal (but expensive) day out, and is now in the realms of a once every two years thing if you want to buy the passes?

Yes, we’ve been to Europa Park 3 times during August and once at Halloween half term (also very busy, sold out etc). Never had a problem, always done everything we wanted to.

Strategic is a good word - I don’t feel like we need to be strategic at Europa at all … we’ve also learnt over the years that we don’t need the early access you get if you stay in one of their hotels, so we quite often have a lazy breakfast and wander in a bit later. I’ve enjoyed Orlando holidays but there’s always that little bit of pressure about making sure you get to X ride by X time. We went in 2023 and didn’t do the Genie + at Disney because it was expensive. You also had to get up at 7am to reserve the best rides on the app! But Magic Kingdom was so incredibly busy one day that we spent a day there and only managed one ride, so we caved and did Genie + for a different day. It was a bit stressful trying to stack the slots and book the ride times, and I don’t think we made the most of it. I think they may have changed their system slightly now but it was very complicated.

I like Phantasialand too. The Germans are just really, really good at this stuff. I think Thorpe Park (our closest park) pales in comparison. It’s tired, theming isn’t great, and because the ride line up is fairly limited all the big rides get massive queues. Hyperia is really, really good but the park overall is a bit meh.

Yes, perhaps part of the problem is Merlin owing lots of them. No competition. We’ve just been to chessington and it was awful, awful, awful. Spent most of the day queuing and several rides broke, literally wasting about 120 mins of our day. It was a 60 min wait to go down a paw patrol helter skelter - literally a slide. We had to queue to leave (we didn’t leave at the end of the day) and found out it was because everyone was querying the £15 car park cost that wasn’t advertised when most of us bought our tickets. It is way too full and badly maintained. Very few water fountains and lots of places to pay for fizzy drink refills - utterly awful. Obviously the fuller the better for Merlin but the problem is it makes for a terrible day out and Merlin is largely in competition with itself.

I recommend Hansa Park as well. The oath of Karnan is probably my favourite ever ride (people were clapping when it finshed). Again went peak season and just brilliant 👏.

It was a parallel reality, watching lots of people spending their day queuing. I didn’t appreciate the numerous people who stood way too close to me in the queue or the lady who stood with her mobile phone in my back. I hate rides too - I was only there for my family. So I’m probably not the most balanced person on this thread.

Will have to check out Hansa Park!

I hope that when Universal opens in the UK it will give Merlin a kick up the backside because they have become quite lazy with their parks, I think. Although Universal with have fast passes too, no doubt!

Another thing I thought that was interesting about Europa (compared to Thorpe Park) is that the employees and ride operators seem to span all ages, with people in their 60s and 70s happily working there … and some of more popular rides have the same crew year after year. There is a guy who works on Wodan, a wooden coaster that’s really popular, and we see him every year. And another that we always see at Blue Fire, another popular coaster, who is also in the video you watch before the ride that tells you how to sit safely in the seats etc. I just don’t think you see that sort of thing at Thorpe Park. Rust (where the park is) is quite a small town so I expect the park is the major employer there.

Dogs are allowed in Europa Park too, which was a really strange sight to see. I have never seen dog poo there - or litter.

Theme parks are an out and out scam. I am honestly amazed that what they put their paying customers through isn't illegal. No one would accept the same level of contempt for the consumer in an hotel, in a restaurant, on a plane, in an Air BnB. They sell you something and they don't deliver. It's absolutely baffling that it carries on unregulated.

No they do close at certain times of the year

so they have to make the peak times count

it is a business after all

Oh wipe your eyes @Vaguelyclassical

this made my smile. The drama! The black and white thinking. 😆

Nah, if I were going to be dramatic I could do so much better. Just getting in touch with my inner curmudgeon . . . .

I can’t even imagine what a dramatic post from you would look like then!

I’ll guess though… you don’t have children?

Well my inner and outer curmudgeon agrees with you.

Lots of stuff that as a 7 year old was bloody magnificent that now as a
woman in my forties is bloody awful

but you know what… I sucked up the odd visit to a theme park for my child’s sake.

and then ensured I took them to the kind of cultural entertainment that doesn’t make @Vaguelyclassical burst in to tears about the following weekend

Yes.

Paultons park is the best one. It is more expensive and they don’t seem to ever do 2 for 1 tickets, but they don’t do fast passes. The queues are always reasonable. The park is always spotless too. We’ve not had a bad day there. On the other hand, we recently went to Legoland where the queue times were ridiculous due to sooo many people having fast passes. And they just keep on letting all of them straight through. I actually meant to email in after to see if they had a limit that they sell, And when we went to Thorpe park we managed 3 rides! Paultons is defo worth the extra money! I’d much rather pay a bit more for the park and not have the fast passes. As a large family, it’s just not a cost I can justify!

Well yeah, that was my point wasn't it.

At the moment, Merlin are losing money hand over fist and have the very real problem of universal opening a park right on their doorstep.

So maybe they do need to rethink fast passes, given that the very best parks the world don't have them.

That’s terrible. Which 3 rides was it, out of interest? My kids were there last week.

We went to Lego land once when my children were small. awful. long queues for everything because we didn't have fast passes, overpriced everything, and a terrible coach trip because we have no car, never again I said, and we never did. We took them to places without huge queues : museums, castles, rock pools, galleries. Schools seem to provide these theme park trips now, good, I'd rather not.

What is your source for Merlin losing money hand over fist?

Two of Germany’s largest theme parks sell fast pass equivalents
phantasialand sells a “Quick pass” or “quick pass ultimate”
and Movie park does similar

Every country has themed parks with fast passes or similar I suspect. And every country has theme parks without fast passes or similar I suspect.

Merlin categorically is not losing money hand over fist

www.merlinentertainments.biz/newsroom/news-releases/2026/merlin-entertainments-delivers-resilient-performance-in-2025-and-establishes-strong-platform-for-sustainable-growth/

We take a sick day to go in school time .. I hate waiting around.

I always think if everyone get fast passes.. How's it faster

This is why I’m boycotting theme parks, just not worth it! It should be more regulated and they shouldn’t be able to allow more people in to queue for 90min for 2 min ride. Even before dc were in school we went to the Legoland on a school day, still had to queue for 40 min for a ride. Paid for the pass, got us on 4 rides, some were closed, some we still had to wait 30min. Peppa pig the same, even 30min wait for a 4 year old is a lot.
much prefer to spend this money on a theatre tickets where I get a proper quality show. I bloody hate theme parks! Hope people stop going

Having done them with and without I'd always go for the fast pass now. We did Universal LA recently and went on all the rides, inc. the hour long studio tour. No way would that have been possible without the pass, would have needed a second day.

Pleasure land is shit BPB had to start charging because of anti social behaviour. We were there one day I know my son was about 1 so would be 2002-03. A little girl was SA'd and there was no security. Of course the perpetrators did a runner. I'm not sure if he was caught. But incidents like this also put families off from returning. They will have to pay out high insurance as it is.

They cap