What the fuck can I do?

[MysticChevron]

Long story short…following three years plus of living in “transitional housing” for Indigenous women and children escaping DV, my girls and I were finally placed in a beautiful new home.

Last month, the property nextdoor was “repurposed” to house two obviously unwell men. Fair enough - everyone needs to live somewhere; I know that better than most.

Unfortunately, it’s been an absolute nightmare. Banging on our doors and windows; pissing and spitting and wolf-whistling over the fence; gratuitously and distressingly loud sexual talk/masturbation; aggressive and explicit ranting.

The “carers” don’t give a shit and are only around sporadically. They initially gave me their number, but after a couple of weeks sent me a message out of the blue to “call the police if anything happens. Let us know if you do…we won’t be able to attend though.”

I’ve jumped through every bloody hoop in existence to get my children into a safe place…but there goes the neighbourhood. My youngest said tonight that she doesn’t feel safe here now. Honestly, we’ve been through too much…I feel at this point that I want to smack these fuckers in the face…I don’t give a shit how mentally ill they are…don’t scare my kids with your sick fucking gratuitous intentionally loud wanking…funny how they don’t do that shit when the carers are actually around 😩

Are you in the UK just to make sure give correct advice?

I’m in rural Australia. X

I would report to the police every time you felt unsafe.

Sounds more like Canada, or maybe Oz?

OMG that's awful OP, I would phone the police, every single time. Are you in council or social housing - is there anyone supporting you who you can report this to and see if you can be moved? - although I recognise you shouldn't have to, you aren't the ones causing the problem

What's hapened when you've reported to the police every time this happens as instructed?

I'd hazard a guess that the carers know this is not a suitable arrangement but are not able to intervene. This is why they spontaneously told you to call the police if anything happens.

I understand and appreciate that advice. Unfortunately, the police will not attend. It’s a sad reality of our area. That said, you’re right in that I should call regardless…at least then it’s on record I guess X

I did wonder when you mentioned indigenous women if you were Australia/canada.

i have no clue how it would work there unfortunately.

how would you normally go about moving? Can you afford to rent privately? What benefits and social support is there? Uc etc won’t be relevant to you.

are you there due to DV? Can you ask to be moved?

Carers initially gave me their number and told me to contact them if anything happened. Only yesterday told me to call police if anything happens going forward. I know the cops won’t do shit round here. Very rural; very high Koori population. I’d be lucky if they even answered the phone…sad as that reality is

Yes; we have been placed here after three years of living in a refuge, effectively. Beautiful home in a beautiful street, all things considered…and now this…I could bloody cry 😩

You're going to have to involve the police so that this is all on file, I'm afraid.
You are being harassed by aggressive men and need to report it every time.
In particular, public masturbation is an offence — all this behaviour is obviously aimed at you and the other women. Mental illness or not, it’s still a crime.
Tell the police that you are a single woman with children living there with you, you’re being targeted by violent-sounding men, their behaviour is extremely offensive and your children are scared.
It’s not pleasant but can you record these behaviours at all?

If they are purposely making your children hear sexual comments and acts surely that's sexual assault.
Maybe contact (whatever Australia has) child abuse helplines or social services for some advice.
I hope you get this sorted 💐

If you lived in transitional housing for 3 years, do you have good relationships with the people who worked there/the organisation (sorry, I dont know what it looks like or how it works).

They might not be able to do anything directly, but they might know of other agencies who can help.

Are there any community support groups you could access? Advocacy groups? National agencies? Anyone?

Basically, you need to make as much fuss as possible to anyone who might be able to help and potentially put pressure on the police to take this seriously and act. Be the squeaky wheel that gets the attention.

It's a shit situation and I can't imagine how upsetting and stressful this must be for you to feel things were finally sorted and now be faced with this.

Who has overall/ultimate responsibility for the men/the carers.

Can you take it higher?

Keep reporting and keep a log. Hope you have let the housing association know as well. If it's not illegal try to record some of their activities.

Thank you, everyone. I’ve spoken to the carers, Community Housing, my personal DV caseworker and my own stepdad who is a regional manager for a local disability service…I think I’ve probably been reluctant to call the police because of my personal experiences of them being pretty useless…and also the ingrained perception that I’d be “causing a fuss” (no doubt as a result of DV/gaslighting/historical abuse etc). I think I might actually trot down to the Cop Shop tomorrow and make an official complaint…or at least seek some guidance there in person…again, thank you, all X

Ha! Funny you used the term “make a fuss”…I hadn’t read that til after I wrote my last post. Thank you for understanding. My stepdad himself said “be the squeaky wheel”. X

absolutely get it on file with the police could you also invest in some cameras preferably with sound to catch them?

My questions exactly! Following the message from the carers yesterday, today I asked for the official address of their employer. “Why do you want to know?” was the IMMEDIATE response. What a scene 😩

Can your step dad move in for a bit?

I think I can understand the police not being supportive here. I think that’s a simple solution but if you say it won’t work, it won’t.

are they aggressive? What do they do when you respond?

Unfortunately, no. But I appreciate that suggestion. Much as I adore him, he’s useless in his own way 😅 I was surprised he even replied to my messages, honestly 🙈

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. For what its worth, my 2c worth is

Complain to your local MLA. Ask them to find out the organisation who has the responsibility for that address. But also just complain, complain, complain. Get your friends to lobby on your behalf.

Complain to the Opposition member with DOCS responsibility or whatever your department is called these days.

Is there an upper house committee that might be looking at anything that might vaguely be related to your problem? Go to your parliament website and look at current and past committees. Find the members. Then you will know what interests each MLA and MLC has. Then you start lobbying them. Do you have a Pauline Hanson MLC? Governments of all persuasions are working hard not give that lot a reason to speak out.

Can your Aboriginal Legal Service or your Aboriginal Health Service intervene or lobby on your behalf?