Blame for money troubles

[spinks999]

last year I had to drop my hours at work so DP offered to pay my CC bill of £200 each month to help out. Normally we pay 50/50 on all bills but this extra help was appreciated. During the same period DP also spend £130 a month on takeaways plus more on eating out and socialising. He also signed up to a few holidays with mates. Fast forward to now and he is £2k overdrawn and he is solely blaming this on the extra money he paid me every month to help out with my credit card. He doesnt think his own spending is to blame at all. He also said the holidays were paid for by ISA interest so weren’t a problem either. I feel hurt that I’m essentially getting the blame for his money issues. Or is he right? This help was for 10 months so £2k which is the same as the overdraft amount

So has he now stopped making the payments - have you increased your earnings again to be able to pay it yourself?

When he offered to make the payments was it a gift or a loan do you think?

You're not responsible for his poor budgeting, and he obviously didn't work out that he couldn't afford to help you without altering his lifestyle. I can see the logic though - you've had 2k paid off your debt and now he has 2k debt. Is he fair to you with your finances generally?

Yes I’m now back to working full time and as soon as I did that I said to stop the payments. I wasn’t ever told it was only a loan, it was to help. However because it’s now being given as the reason for his money woes I am going to pay it back

I am fiercely independent and have always insisted on paying my way despite earning far less. I guess I’m just hurt because I’ve never asked for anything and it’s being thrown back in my face and I’m the cause of his problem

I can see you will have fun if you ever go on Maternity Leave.
He will have you piss poor rather than sharing money whilst he fritters away cash.

I don't think he's a keeper, is he? Once resentment has crept in, the relationship is a goner.

I don't think he's a keeper, is he? Once resentment has crept in, the relationship is a goner.

Not being on the same page over finances is not good in a long term relationship. Also he must have a LOT of money in an ISA if he is paying for holidays off of interest! He shouldn't be overdrawn in my opinion if thus is the case. As others have said, I would be wary of a future with him if he blames you and spends so much on his lifestyle.

I should just say we have been together 9 years and have a mortgage together. We are both mid 40’s