Has anyone else always felt like they don’t really have a voice in their family?
I’m currently on holiday with my parents, siblings and brother/sister in laws, and it’s brought up something that’s been a pattern for as long as I can remember.
If I make a suggestion about something to do, somewhere to go, or even raise a concern about something practical, it’s often met with comments like “stop making a fuss”, “stop going on”, or a general feeling that I’m being difficult or causing a problem.
What hurts is that if my siblings or brother/sister in law then make the same suggestion, or something very similar, the response is completely different. Suddenly it’s “that’s a great idea” or “yes, let’s do that”.
It’s not really about the holiday itself. It’s more that it feels like this has happened throughout my life. I often feel as though my opinions carry less weight, or that what I’m saying is dismissed before anyone has properly listened to it. Over time it’s made me reluctant to speak up because I expect to be brushed off.
I was recently diagnosed as autistic, and I’m wondering whether that has played any part in how my communication has been perceived over the years, although this family dynamic existed long before my diagnosis.
I don’t know if I’m being oversensitive because it’s a stressful holiday with lots of people together, or whether others have experienced something similar.
Has anyone else felt like they’re cast in a particular role within their family and no matter what they say, people react to the role rather than to what they’re actually saying?
I’d be interested to hear whether anyone has experienced this and how they’ve dealt with it.