To find the idea of romantic relationships fragile?

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh]

The whole 'ick' thing, which can happen at any time, over anything, and apparently once you have it, that's it. I'd like to think most reasonable people wouldn't leave after years because they didn't like your new haircut, but then we're always hearing 'You can leave any relationship you want, for any reason'.

You've then got to have the right balance of everything. If your partner/husband wants to go out 4,5,6 evenings a week, You've just got to make your own life and deal with that. You can't decide how much time you get to spend together.

You've got to be very chill about 99% of things, be cool, don't be dramatic because pepple don't like dealing with others' emotions.

You've got to earn enough money to afford that dream house they want in the best area, otherwise you 'don't want the same things in life' but you've also got to have extra money for adventures, travel, looking after the way you look, keeping things exciting, holidays without them to 'have your own life'.

I'm probably over-exaggerating, I know people don't expect perfection but I feel like there are these very high standards to meet at all times.

It's just all very conditional and could end at any time. It's the risk you take, but it's exhausting.

Yes. If I had my time again I wouldn't get into a committed live in relationship. I'd want nice male friends who were up for the odd shag.

Totally relate- just come out a long marriage and after 2 years out, have decided to dip my toes back into the dating pool and bloody hell! A) it’s fire out there and B) everything I thought I knew about dating/expectations has gone out the window! I’m doomed!

All relationships are like this, to some extent. But I guess the difference is it’s easier to disentangle from friendships or work relationships that have gone wrong - you don’t have to sort out custody of children and pets and division of assets.

Plus hopefully your boss and your friends don’t risk giving you the clap if they’re shagging around.

There’s definitely compromise that comes with sharing a life, as you’d expect with sharing anything. But I can’t overstate how enriching my marriage has been. How much my husband has brought to my life, building a life with someone; a home, a family, memories. When he’s a good person, and it’s a good fit, all the tricky times, the work that has to at times go into a marriage, it’s all been worth it to me. It’s not without its worries, in my darkest moments I worry how vulnerable I’d be if I lost him, emotionally, not physically, I’m actually a very independent person. But I suppose anything that’s worth having, would be heart breaking to lose. I count myself as very lucky.

Are you quite well, @Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh? You’ve just started another thread complaining about people only wanting some bits of a ‘serious’ relationship and being happy to socialise separately. Why the beef?

Well all bar two of my friends are still married 30 years in - all seemingly content bar one. It can’t be that fragile.