Is anyone actually doing much during the holidays?

[mimimoo2]

I am struggling. I am working 3 days a week most of the holidays. We have a week abroad coming up. But when it gets to my days off I am struggling - still trying to do the usual chores, cleaning, shopping while also having both dc at home. We have a big age gap of 9 years so doing stuff together is hard - my teen often just wants to stay at home. We’ve done a few things like community days, library, dog walks, national trust but it all feels very overwhelming and frankly piss poor in comparison with what everyone else is doing.

Forget what everyone else is doing. What do YOU want to do? Are your DC happy? Could you leave teen at home and take little one out for a few hours to something they would enjoy, then come home and spend time with teen while younger one plays?

My kids have had a full on week of activities and are knackered and will probably be stroppy and angry tomorrow. That's the flip side!! They actually do better with lots of downtime, and unstructured time outside in nature

You're doing great.

My MIL visited for a couple of days and my dc were full of stories of "interesting things that have happened recently" and my MIL pointed out they were all set at Sainsburys. The time they had a power cut. The nice T shirts they each got. The giant caterpillar we saw in the car park...

I'm like, they have an inexpensive cafe there and it has air con. We've been going 3x a week, I have no regrets.

We’ve done a few things like community days, library, dog walks, national trust but it all feels very overwhelming and frankly piss poor in comparison with what everyone else is doing. Stop comparing. Your family has their own needs and preferences. What you're doing sounds good.

I am trying to do this. The fact that I’m doing things separately also means I’m spreading myself thin but I am trying. The age gap is so tough during the holidays and juggling work is a pain too.

I have 2 teenagers and they are having loads of time at home. They’ve seen some friends and we’ve done a few days out (and their drama club does workshops throughout the summer so they are doing one day a week there) but otherwise they are enjoying sleeping in late, binging tv programmes, gaming, reading and just generally relaxing. It’s very different to what our school holidays looked like when they were younger, but they work hard in term time so I’m happy for them to chill!

Have you enjoyed it though?

We've done playdates, park, baking, reading, table crafts, nail polish and hair braids, made bracelets, tidied up, light school work and holiday clubs. One big day out with grandparents, one with us.

I'm planning a home sleepover, camping, board games and using up all the birthday toys, like a flower pressing kit and a money box painting kit. Stuff that can be done together or independently at the table, more baking, gardening, park. One of the million activity books. Loom bands. Bit of biking if not too hot.

I am but I do constantly feel under pressure to be doing something. Actually some of the nicest moments have been unplanned - just sitting at the table and getting my craft stuff out while dd is painting or whatever. But i just like to look back over summer and feel we’ve done some interesting and memorable stuff and that isn’t the case right now.

I have a big age gap too - mine are (almost) 13, 3 and 10 months. We’ve just got back from a week away but the rest of the summer will be a mix of a couple of expensive days out (the zoo, theme park and Bewilderwood - the 13 and 3 year old will both love these) and cheaper local things.

Eg today the eldest is going out with his friends and I am taking the little two to the local farm park. Yesterday I took the little two to soft play while eldest went to cinema with DH. Tomorrow we’ll be doing a NT which everyone enjoys (eldest loves history and middle loves picnics and running around like a lunatic)

I’m trying to not put too much pressure on myself - days out are so expensive, even ‘free’ ones usually end up with an ice cream or a gift shop treat 🥲 I’ll probably do a couple of days out a week and the rest of the days play in the garden, do some baking etc.

You’ve got a holiday coming up that will be interesting and memorable. Get the teenager (and the little one to a point) to help with the chores on home days and it won’t seem so overwhelming and free up time for fun

I have an 11 year old and a 3 year old- 3 year old is in nursery 2.5 days, thank god 😂. We do one ‘big’ thing each week (I’m off all summer because I work in education) and the rest of the week involves walking to get a coffee, park, seeing my parents/friends and entertaining themselves.

Please don't worry. Its hard when there is all the social media "only 18 summers" crap, but I don't think the making of memories is that important, it's more important to create a feeling of childhood. Happy mum, happy kids. They're having a lovely time just being home and safe.

And fwiw, I know I certainly find parenting easier when out and about doing things, so I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people who are out all the time are doing that for that reason. We're all just doing our best and I hope you can let go of the guilt. Just think, how lovely would it be to have time to just sit and paint at the table? You're creating that time and space for them by providing time and materials and space and that's amazing xx

I agree with the above poster. It’s about family and a change of pace. No pressure of school.

My only memories of summer holidays as a child are of camps I hated and time at a friends house in the neighbourhood because his mum always gave me ice creams.

Stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourself, and stop going on social media if that’s your source of comparison. It’s bullshit.

We were away for the first week, but we're having building work done so the second week has literally been the kids helping me paint dining chairs, watching TV while I sort out our absolute campsite of a living room, running errands, going to furniture showrooms etc. they spent an afternoon seeing who could find the smallest carrot in the veg patch in our garden, I believe a cat fashion show happened at some point (the cat doesn't have clothes, they fashioned her a cape out of a tea towel). They are SO bored 😂. All 3 of DD(8)'s besties are on holiday at the same time so she's having to hang out with DS (4) when "he doesn't even know who BlackPink are".

We have got trips to the beach and bike riding through the forest planned for next week, but I'm pregnant so I've got a limited amount of energy and they are just going to have to suck it up a bit. Boredom is the mother of creativity anyway....

We aren’t doing much. I had an operation on the first day of the summer holidays, ds spent his first week looking after me! He’s 14, his friends had gone on on holiday then for the first 2 weeks anyway. Dh was about too, he took ds out a few times for lunch etc when he had time but other than that he hung out at home with me.
We did go to Cornwall for the second week and dh and him went out and did stuff every day which was nice but we had also planned to be abroad for a couple of weeks later on in the holidays which we’ve now scrapped because my mobility is currently quite poor and I can’t swim or get in water etc for a while. We just thought it would be more hassle than it’s worth.
next week his friends are back so he’ll no doubt meet up with them to play cricket and football in the park. He’s going to see the new spiderman film with them next week too.
in a couple of weeks I’ll probably be up on my feet properly and be able to drive and we’ll be about to get out and do more before I go back to work but essentially it’s going to be a summer of not much and that’s totally fine.

Yeah you need to stop comparing.

the first week of the holidays we never plan anything because DS is always knackered, so it’s just impromptu play dates and trips to the park etc.

the second week (this week) I’ve been away for work all week, so DS has been with his dad. He’s done cricket camp every morning 9-12, then in the afternoons one day he went to a friend’s house, another day he went to a local castle / grounds for a walk (free) and dinner at the pub, and another day they went to the cinema. The other afternoons he played Lego, walked the dog, watched tv and played on the switch.

I’m working most of the summer, so in terms of “big plans”- we’ll go up to the Lakes for 4 days at the end of August, and we’ll go to the seaside one weekend. Other than that it will be parks/ walks on the moors/ playdates / lego/ tv/ gaming/swimmimg/ audiobooks/ allotment time/ cafes for cake/ ice creams etc. DS will also do another week of cricket camp mornings, and play a couple of one day tournaments.

this is fine. By and large kids today are way overscheduled. It’s stressful for them. They need to be bored / low key etc sometimes- otherwise how the hell are they going to cope with life as adults.

I can relate to this. I've recently started a new FR job, elderly grandparent in hospital and DH in redundancy consultation. Makes it hard to have the headspace with the kids.
Mine have enjoyed being at home and having non structured time.
Don't be too hard on yourself!

What someone said about the 18 summers in SM is spot on. This makes me feel so much pressure and like I'm not doing enough!

Awww love this